Saturday, November 8, 2014

She Desires...

I desire to be...

~Jenny Williams,
A Modern Day Ruth
Copyright 2014

Sunday, September 28, 2014

From Moment to Moment

From moment to moment, I am receiving Your divine wisdom. I am applying Your Word and strength to my life. I am ever-changing and being transformed by Your presence and Glory. I take notice of every treasure You have laid out for me to use. I am mindful of my time, that each moment is Your gift for me to give, bless and produce for Your Kingdom and purpose. I am always gleaning and harvesting Your fruit in my life. I am always planting seeds of Your love, Your Word, and Your goodness wherever I go. Grace is becoming my character. Your wisdom I wear like a royal gown that touches entire places where I have stepped. I walk with integrity and humility wherever I go. I know that my anointing, strength, and beauty come from You. I am fervently speaking words of life and healing. I am moved by Your compassion. I am guided by Your Holy Spirit who is my daily love song. Your fragrance is known to others by my attitude, and it touches everyone that contacts me. You are quick to let me know when I should be silent, and You tell me when to speak. I do not run away from courage and strength, but I embrace it each and every day. You are making me beautiful moment by moment, from glory to glory. Your sweet presence is continually blossoming in me like costly, exquisite flowers. Your sweet fragrance in me does not fade. You are the glory and lifter of my head. I am purposefully walking out every divine plan You have for me. I am a woman of substance, power, and grace. I will never forget that I am an ambassador and a Daughter of The King of kings. In Jesus' name. Amen Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2014

Monday, September 22, 2014

Dance with God

I used to feel afraid to let love in... I wanted to be loved by a man, but I was afraid to trust anyone. I put a wall around myself, and I shut out the possibility without even me knowing it. Poppa God has been patient as I have surrendered the key to the door of my heart. I daily lay down my feelings, affections and desires to Him. He has the reins of my heart, so I can be safe and secure knowing I will be steered toward the right field, to the right person and to go in the right direction. My focus is Him alone, not man. It's so peaceful knowing that I don't have to be afraid when love comes again. 

I love how the saying goes: "Dance with God and He will let the right man cut in." That's what this journey has felt like....a beautiful dance. I'm learning the heartbeat of His love for me. He leads as I lean closely to Him. Getting lost in His love has helped me to be found. ~ Jenny Williams

Expect Good Things

I feel so happy and peaceful inside...I know that I'm walking in my destiny. There's nothing like feeling His peace and trusting in His promises. I am beginning to expect and believe again. Ruth did not live in her season of sorrows her entire life....She was redeemed by Her God. She encountered Boaz who loved her and blessed her. Her legacy became a royal lineage. God has great things in store for you. He has blessings and plans. Expect good things. Expect love. Expect God to use your testimony for His purpose and glory. Expect beauty from your ashes. Expect....because God is so GOOD.

You are His

Strong Woman of God: Right now it may seem there is no beauty, but only pain. You may feel only the thorns of difficulty. You may feel bare, exposed and naked as things are being stripped away in your life, but God is cultivating you and making you strong. There will be a season of joy again...bouquets of your sweet fragrance in full bloom again. You are lovely. You are loved. You are His. ~ A Modern Day Ruth

Leave Your Burdens at His Feet

Sometimes I just write a list if my burdens get too heavy. Someone once told me that my list is never too long for my Heavenly Father to listen to or to handle. It brought me great comfort because I felt like I was being a bother with so many needs. Life isn't always easy as a single momma in full time ministry. My faith is always challenged. Today I feel weak but I know He is strong and He won't forsake me. I remember a sweet old hymn that sings..."Leave it there...Leave it there...Take your burden to The Lord, oh and leave it there. If you trust and never doubt He will surely bring you out. Take Your burden to The Lord and leave it there. If this world withholds from you it's silver and its gold, and you have to get along with meager fare...just remember in His word how He feeds the little birds. Take your burden to The Lord and leave it there."
 Poppa God, Today I trust you with my burdens and I leave them at your feet. ~ A Modern Day Ruth

 * Please read our power verses below:

*Power verse:
Matthew 6:26-34  NIV
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

*Power verse:
1 Peter 5:7 NIV
Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

She's stepping out in new found faith.
She's opening her heart to new people, places and dreams.
She is trusting her Poppa God to boldy bless her and anoint her for all that He has for her to do and to be. She unafraidly embraces love again. And She is now walking in her destiny. ~ Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Prophetic Word For My Sister

You are beautiful...Your beauty is emerging in a deeper and more intimate level with Poppa God. You will carry a garden of His fragrance for others to savor and smell. You will walk in greatness like never before and go to greater heights. Your steps will be confident. You will know your royal authority and use it well. Your ministry will prosper and bring forth much fruit in due season. He will honor you with a new position and new shoes to wear. New dreams will be birthed out of you that you never could imagine could from you. Your obedience in difficult season will be honored by the King who loves you and has called you for such a time as this. marriages and Ministries will be impacted in ways you know not. You may have been feeling hidden for much of the time but you will bust out like a butterfly and soar. The enemy's plans and lies spoken over you will be snuffed out....because your confidence will be found in Christ alone and His word. Don't limit yourself...But believe. Greater things are yet to come. Prophetic word (9/9/2014) Love, jenny Williams Copyright 2014

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

She Smiles Anyway

She wakes up every morning
Praying for strength for another day
She grabs some coffee and pours some hazelnut creamer
and  swallows a "sigh"
And she smiles anyway.

She starts to sing another hallelujah song
In her kitchen her lullabies become her prayers
She opens the window just to catch a summer breeze
She's hoping and praying
He hears her singing.
And she smiles anyway.

She's the one giving encouragement
and showing others she cares
but deep inside she's needing it too
She wishes she had another hand
to help with burdens she bears.
But she smiles anyway.

She sometimes goes without meals
so her three girls can eat
She's hungry often
She dreams of chocolate and juicy meat.
but she smiles anyway.

She hears a country song on the radio
She sees couples smiling and laughing
She thinks to herself-
"I'm so tired...I've been alone for too long."
She doesn't want to be the man anymore
She doesn't want to have to be so strong.

She smiles anyway...
and hopes for brighter days.
She lights scented candles
and hugs her kitty real tight
she snuggles with her baby girls
and kisses them goodnight

The house is eerily silent, she's up real late
She's tired of the fight
she's crying out for a mate
her arms are aching to be held.
She reminds Him of His promise
Where is he? The Boaz she will meet?

She silently prays in the wee hours of the night
her pillow is soaked by the numerous tears she's cried
But she smiles anyway...
It's what's holding her together and keeping her hanging on.

"Momma, I need money for the high school dance"
"I need braces and I accidentally broke my glasses again.
My shoes don't fit
I'm hungry, Momma
She hears them
and she just smiles again.

She gets down on her knees
the bill is weighing heavy, she cries
She clenches her bottle of oil
and prays silently
"You gotta help me, Lord tonight."
She barely can, but she smiles anyway.

She goes to church in her Sunday best
She sits alone and bravely she's smiling again.
She sees a wife rub her husband's back
She thinks to herself, "I wish I could do that again."
The sermon is good and she holds on to every word.
People smile and greet her and she doesn't say much
because she knows they expect her to say, "I'm fine."

She sees families and babies running around
She hears laughter and chatter
And she feels like her emotions are trying to make
her drown.
And she smiles anyway...
'cause she doesn't want them to see her cry.
It was so long ago that he left...
I know they expect her to move on.

She walks out of her church
and looks up into the bright blue sky
Oh how she wishes things were different
She wishes she could float away like a cloud from her life.

So she closes her eyes...
dreams...and smiles anyway..
because maybe one time her smile
will make it all go away..

~ Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth,  Copyright 2014

Saturday, June 21, 2014

She Was Free

She realized her heart would not be healed until she let go completely what she held so tight to. It felt so unnatural to let go of the man she loved so much. But she realized he did not love her and he was long gone. She was grabbing mere shadows of memories. There was nothing left but to trust God. That He had a different plan...a better one. God never restores less than better than before- this... I know. She could not imagine her life or heart loving any other. But loving memories wasn't going to sustain her or even love her back. She knew it was time to let go. Let go of the once sweet moments that made her feel so good....she had to let go hoping to be back in those few moments. A voice kept whispering to her heart...."Love is in front of you...never behind you." She fell to her knees and wept. And once and for all let go. She knew that once she got up off her floor there was no more trying to love the dead. There was no more looking over her shoulder to yesterdays...She was free. She put one foot in front of the other and finally began to trust God. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014 ~ A Modern Day Ruth

Friday, June 20, 2014

Kari Jobe - The More I Seek You w/lyrics

  This is my favorite worship song...Moments when I was in great despair and pain...His love kept me safe under His wings. I lost what I thought was love but in my complete brokenness I rediscovered it...The Holy Spirit is the greatest comforter and lover of my soul.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

A Prayer for All Ruths

Tonight, I pray for Ruth's to find their Boazes. For those who have lost love, who grieved, who healed, who bravely walked and moved forward, for those who have endured with their faith and gleaned the wisdom from the painful season, for those who have let go of their losses, faced their fears, and been honest with their mistakes, for those who have rejected the lies that they're not lovable, for those choosing to believe in love even though they have been disappointed or even been betrayed. I pray for you to find a love so true, so dear, so lavish, and so faithful...for love that is sweet and tender, but so safe and so holy. So divinely inspired and given from God. I pray you are celebrated, embraced, held and cherished... that you are given the greatest blessing of having a life partner to share and grow and build and dream with -someone to love you in your weakest and strongest moments and everything in between. I pray your days of the past are redeemed; the sting of the pain being completely gone, just like a woman who has endured great pain and suffering in labor and given birth to her child that she has now instantly fallen so deeply in love with. Her pain is forgotten. I pray this happens for you and for me. I pray the men who have waited so long for their sweet Ruth will no longer be lonely nor disappointed. That his arms never are empty. His life he's worked so hard to build will feel complete with her by his side. I pray this tonight. ~ A Modern Day Ruth, Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014

Wisdom I learned as a "Ruth"

If you are trying so hard to get his attention...He's not the one. Boaz noticed her without her even trying.

There's wisdom during this season that you should discover and treasure. God brings His best treasures during your greatest adversities.

The faster you learn... the easier it is to work the field you are in.

Humility seems to be a character trait a Ruth must acquire. It's hard and I'm learning this. My circumstances are humble. No way to hide that but continue pressing on.

If he's noticed you, he will let you know. Boaz summoned his workers to find out about her.  He spoke to her and offered her a place at his table.

We feel lonely, but we are not alone. Notice the other women working in the field? They are in your same situation... just different details.

A Boaz requires higher standards than common men do. I must be an uncommon woman if I am going qualify to be somebody's Ruth.

Giving to others and encouraging others helps lessen my pain. Ruth was known in her community as a good woman who was unselfish. I hope that is how people see me.

I have to step into unfamiliar fields. I have to speak to people I don't know. I have to be brave. It's scary sometimes.

If your Boaz shows true interest, be brave enough to reach back.
I hope I can do this. I am sometimes shy. Also, it feels risky to possibly be rejected. But if Ruth didn't reach for Boaz, her story wouldn't have changed and we wouldn't have known about her legacy.

Some days seem really hard. I have to refocus when my pain is fogging up my hope or vision. Take a bubble bath, play some music, eat a piece of chocolate, spend alone time with Poppa God.

Appreciate the little things and the beauty in each moment or you will completely lose any joy you do have.
Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

A Ruth's Song

A song I wrote while taking a bath. It's my simple prayer and song for my future Boaz.
I want to wake up hearing him singing praises to You.
I want to know he's in his secret place honoring You.

I want a man who loves me like You do.

I want to grow with him....
I want to sow with him.
I want to sing with him.
I want to pray with him.
I want to worship with him.
I want to give with him.

And when I lay my head down on his chest at night- I hear him praying to you. He's my favorite good night. His love for you, Holy Spirit inspires me to draw closer to You.

I want to serve with him.
I want to dream with him.
I want to play with him.
I want to learn with him.
I want to build with him.
I want to love with him.

Wherever he goes I will follow ...because I know he follows after You.
I want a man who loves me like You do.

This is my humbled prayer and spontaneous song I sang today while taking a bath. I normally don't write all my songs down...But I want to remember this one because maybe I'll sing it some day on my wedding day. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014 ~ A Modern Day Ruth

— with Jenny Williams.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

How do you know when you are ready to receive a Boaz into your heart and life?

A heart, mind, soul, and body must be ready. You have been walking through heartache, loss, abandonment and hardships. It's not been an easy season, but the good news is that God does not leave us in it; He walks us through to the other side when we trust Him and obey Him. Here are a few signs that you may be ready to be in a relationship again:

-You have a painful past, but it no longer keeps you there. You have been able to heal from it. You have been able to forgive those who have hurt you or abandoned you. The past is a painful memory but the sting of it doesn't keep you consumed by it.

-You have been able to stop looking over your shoulder trying to get back what you lost. You have been taking healthy steps to move forward in Christ. You no longer dwell in your former situation or homeland. Ruth left the land of Moab. She was courageous to go with Naomi to a new land she did not know.

-You have gone through a season of healthy grief. You have mourned what you lost. You have let God gently heal the layers and places of your heart. You have trusted God and allowed Him to help you let go of what you lost. You never forget, but you no longer let it be your constant thought day and night. Your tears have begun to cease. You have a few moments once in a while, but you have been able to feel joy again. You desire to live and be a part of life activities again. A lengthy time is recommended. Grief takes time. It's not an overnight thing. Remember, shedding tears does not mean you are going backward; it's part of the process. Don't feel bad if you are still shedding tears over the loss of your spouse.

-You have gleaned the wisdom from the mistakes you have made from your last relationship. Everyone has something they could have done differently in their broken or lost relationship. You are now healthy-minded when it comes to relationships. You have been completely honest with yourself and God about your past mistakes. You have learned and applied the wisdom so that you won't repeat the mistakes again. You have broken the cycle. Only a fool does the same thing but expects different results. Something has to change. Being completely honest with yourself and learning as much as you can is a healthy approach.

-You have leaned closer to the Lord and have a stronger and more intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. You have allowed God to be your strength and peace during this difficult season. He is the Lover of your soul. You have realized that your spiritual well is not filled by a man but by spending time in His presence. A man can't satisfy your spirit. Only God can. Your relationship with God is front and center. Everything you do you strive to honor and please God. Your satisfaction comes from Him. A difficult season should always draw you closer to God- not further away.

-You have used the pain and heartache you have experienced and gone through to help others. Ruth reached out to Naomi and blessed her and helped her. You are now seeing the beauty and strength from the ashes in your life. You are now able to comfort and help others who are walking the road of a Ruth. God's greatest comfort and healing flows through open and broken vessels. The wounded know how to help the wounded. Your scars are now a blessing. Your story is a testimony of God's faithfulness and goodness in your life.

-You have allowed this difficult and painful season to make your heart more beautiful. Your character reveals His character. Ruth was known by her generosity, loyalty and faithfulness. Her character was known how she took care of her Mother-in-law and how she worked hard to bless her and honor Naomi. Your fragrance is sweet by His Holy Spirit. Your pain did NOT make you bitter....But it did make you BETTER.  For His glory and purpose.

-You no longer have a desire to be back with the person you loved and lost. You have been able to completely let go and surrender to God's perfect will and plan. You no longer have the struggle of a tug-of-war. You have set them free and not held on to unforgiveness or bitterness. You are able to pray for God's best in their life. You trust in God's plan. You genuinely want the best for the person who once hurt you and abandoned you.

-You know your worth as a daughter of the Most High. You broke the cycle of accepting less than God's best for you. You realize that your standards are higher and that you can be patient until God brings the man who is appointed by God to be a kinsman redeemer. Ruth followed God's will when she received her covering. She followed Naomi's instructions and guidance. She followed the protocol. She obeyed Boaz's instructions. You are ready when you are able to submit to God's instructions and guidelines concerning a relationship. You understand that you deserve a godly man.

You have and are continually praying for your future Boaz. You pray he is blessed in his walk with the Lord, and if he's lonely that God will comfort him and give him peace. You are asking God to prepare your heart and life for your Boaz, and that you are being led to the field he is in. Ruth was led to the field where Boaz was. Pray your life is in position for meeting your future spouse. Pray that your coming and goings are blessed and led by His Holy Spirit.

How do you know if he is your Boaz?

A Modern Day Boaz will:

-He will honor you and respect you. He will handle your heart tenderly. His intentions will be honorable.
-He will provide and care for you with his actions. He looks out for the best for you.
-He will protect you and spiritually lead you and be a covering to  you. He will pray with you and for you. He will take you to church. He will read the word with you.
-He will understand your journey and desire to make your days better and sweeter than before.
-He will celebrate you and appreciate your strengths, beauty and character.
-He will preserve you. He will honorably do right by you by waiting until marriage. He sees you as a treasure and a blessing from God.
-He will love you by demonstrating the character of Christ to you through his words and actions.
-He will always try to be a blessing to you and your children every day of his life. He will embrace you and your kids with open arms.

You won't settle for less than the best. You won't have to try to make a man treat you this way, because he already will. You don't raise a man into being a man, he already is one. God's best for you won't need fixing. Second best and settling....will need it. Don't go there. You are completely open to God's submission by letting Him write your love story. Listen to His voice, and trust in His perfect plan.

You know you are ready when you are not afraid to love and trust someone. You desire companionship and sharing a life again. You desire to be a blessing to the man God has waiting for you. Your heart is open to trust and to receive love again. You are healthy in your mind, heart and soul. You desire to be a helpmate.

How do you know you are his Ruth?

-You want to be a blessing to him every day of his life. You strive and look for ways to bless him.
-You desire to be his greatest cheerleader and prayer partner.
-You are his faithful confidante. He can trust you.
-You want to honor him and respect him as a man of God and as your spiritual leader.
-You celebrate his strengths and you accept his weaknesses.
-You bring a strength he can rely on. You are loyal to him only.
-You are his best friend and want to be his lifelong lover.
-You are willing to be a good receiver of his love and acts of kindness.
-You appreciate and value what he does for you.
-You believe in his dreams and callings. You want to support him and build a life with him. His desires are yours, and his dreams are yours.
-You honor him both publicly and privately.
-You desire to please him.
-You strive to do him good all the days of your life.
-You are anointed and appointed to be his wife.

Ruth and Boaz is my favorite love story. God gives second chances. He always restores better than before. Your heartache and loss are being turned around so your greatest love story can unfold. God gave Ruth better than before, and her legacy of love continued through the lineage of Jesus and beyond!  <3 Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2014

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Phases of Healing and Redemption

What phase are you in on this journey of being A Modern Day Ruth?

-I'm in shock over the loss of the love of my life, either by death or abandonment .

-I am severely heart broken and crushed in spirit. I eat and sleep my tears.

-I am having a hard time letting go and keep wishing I could go back to what was before.

-Bravely but a bit scared, I'm moving forward on the trail of tears. Everything is hard. I have no idea where I'm going, but I am blindly trusting God to take me to where I need to be in this process.

-I'm struggling with shame and loneliness. I see the stares and hear the whispers. People just don't understand my journey.

-I keep looking back, but I'm learning there's nothing for me that's behind me.

-My everyday struggles are many, but I keep going. I'm getting stronger. I had no idea how strong I would have to be. God, please help me. It's so hard!

-I've used my pain to comfort others who are walking the same journey. I encourage them and pray for them when I can. I realize I am not alone....So many Ruths and Naomis of this world.

-I realized I have a destiny on the near horizon. All things become new. New dreams, new vision, new purpose. Something new is growing in me. I have a promise.

-I discovered I don't have my worth in a man, but in God. He tells me I'm His priceless treasure. I am comfortable being satisfied by God alone. I don't need a man to make me happy, but I would be blessed and honored to have someone in my life when it's the right time.

-I no longer feel heartbroken. The memory of the pain is still there, the scars are there, but the sting of it is long gone. I'm Feeling so grateful.

-I have made room in my heart for the possibility of love again.

-I am gathering the life lessons and wisdom from the mistakes I've made. I choose to no longer repeat them. I have gained great wisdom. I have been honest with myself and chosen to make the necessary changes. I see growth in my life and in my faith.

-My heart is aching for companionship again and I am steadily letting God prepare my heart to love somebody. My standards are higher and I have an expectation for God's very best for me. I won't settle for less than what is God's divine plan for me.

-I'm in the field working and honoring God even in difficult circumstances. I don't know when my "Boaz" moment will come but I have a good attitude and I'm ready for God's perfect plan to unfold. I keep going.

-I have received what God promised! I am seeing the beauty from my ashes. I am amazed at what He has done for me.

-I met my Boaz. Life is sweeter than the days before. I am grateful for my testimony. God brought someone into my life that has blessed me, protected me, covered me. I love giving him my heart and striving to be a blessing to him every day of his life. We are together building a lasting legacy of faith and love.

-Some of these stages will happen at the same time. Some of you will experience them more than once. Remember that crying tears is part of the healing process. It does not mean you are going backwards.
What phase are you in on your journey? Let us know....

Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2014

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Gathering Sheaves

She is tired of her journey
She's weary of gathering sheaves
She knows she can't give up
She has to keep on going.
She doesn't see the end of the field she's in
Her tears falling down are as numerous as the sea of white grain.
She wonders if this is all there is to her life.
She doesn't want to lead, she wants to be led.
She doesn't want to have to be strong
She desires to crumble into safe caring arms.
Her hair is whipping at her face
She feels hot...sticky from the heat of her troubles
She feels unlovely and unkempt.
She is sure others can smell her pain
Just like the sweat trickling down her back.
She wants to far away
But she knows others depend on her
She's screaming inside for help to make it another day.

Psalm 88:1
Lord, you are the God who saves me. Day and night I cry out to you.

Psalms 130:1
 Lord, I cry out to you because I’m suffering so deeply.

Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth,  Copyright 2014

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Heart of a Queen

Dear Poppa God, I pray for a heart of nobility like Queen Esther, who knew her purpose, the hour she lived in, and how to touch the heart of a King. I pray to be like Abigail, who understood how to show respect and build a man's confidence up with her words and actions. She was wise. I pray to be like Deborah, who knew how to dance and praise you even in the midst of difficult circumstances. I desire to be like Rachel, who had a servant's heart. I long to be like the Shulamite woman, who was a great lover and the "favorite" of the King. I desire character and perseverance like Hannah, who pursued what she longed for and did not give up. I want to be like Ruth, who was faithful and loyal and considered a noble woman who captivated the heart of a kinsmen redeemer and received blessings. I want to be found highly favored like Mary, whose calling impacted the entire world. Make me and mold me to be a woman after your heart Oh, God...a woman of virtue, wisdom, and grace; a woman who walks in her destiny and purpose, a woman who is remembered long after I am gone -that I leave a lasting legacy. In Jesus' name, Amen  ~ Love, Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012, 2013

Sunday, March 16, 2014

From Me To You

When I share and write about A Modern Day Ruth, it's because I'm living it. At first, to be honest, I didn't want to be walking the role of a Ruth. I wanted the "happy" part -the part when a Boaz sweeps in and everything is "happy ever after," but I discovered that I had to embrace it, learn from it, walk in it, and teach it. This is my assignment until He says otherwise. I share the real, the raw, and sometimes the not so pretty parts about being a Ruth. Preparation is being established in our lives. Pain becomes our beauty when we let it transform us from the inside out. I have found a strength I never knew I had. Poppa God is there with us every step of the way. It's only when we look at our pain, suffering, and disappointments that we seem to not see Him; but I hear Him say, "Baby Girl...I'm with you, just trust Me." I was told by someone who didn't even know me that If I trust God, He would take me into the greatest season I have ever known. I am already seeing the beauty when I look at the lives of those around me who are encouraged. To God be the Glory! Our stories become testimonies of His faithfulness. Don't let this time convince you that there is no purpose or joy coming. It's His promise. Ruth's love story is an example of it. Written By Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Sweet Surrender

She didn't know what to do with the abandoned love she still felt. She prayed and waited silently. Days and weeks went by with tears soaking her pillow at night -clenched fists in moments of sobbing. She thought she could never go on without him. On her knees she prayed and fasted. She barely slept or ate. She never loved a man so much as him. She never gave her whole heart away to anyone like that before. The truck sat in the driveway. It never went anywhere, because he was already gone. She slept with his t-shirt, hoping his scent would mean he was still real...still there. She never knew how much of her was missing. She didn't know how she would ever heal. She was glad for the struggle of competing with other women to be over. She couldn't believe she let herself get so low just trying to love him. She couldn't understand why she wasn't enough for him to stay. The relief of not being played like a game anymore was the only burden lifted off her chest. She prayed and hoped day after day that he would come back again, because she could not imagine anything but those sweet yesterdays; but she finally got strong enough to clear her head from the pain that fogged her reasoning. 

She realized it was time to lay this love she had upon the altar of the Lord. She sobbed like waves of the ocean. The pain was so surreal. She laid her love for him on the altar. She knew it was time for her to leave. She knew she could not stay, because if she stayed where things were dead, she would slowly die too. Her strength was held up by the angels as she began to take a little step forward every day. She knew she deserved a whole lot better: to be loved, to be cherished, and protected in every way. Her wounded heart was fragile. People judged and didn't know what was going on inside. She had to close her ears to voices that tried to pull her back into the dark. He had promised her fake forevers. She would naively believe, but they were just empty words with no meaning. She promised him forever but that wasn't good enough. She knew she had to guard and protect what little of herself she still had. 

She clung to her faith that she knew. She silently cried out His name -some moments were so surreal, but she got through it with Poppa God holding her all the way. She let the love of her Father come in gently and heal the layers of her heart. Sometimes a memory of his voice or the smell of him would drift in to taunt her, but she stopped turning her head back to what was no longer there. She reasoned and told herself, "Memories can't kiss me or hold me." Sometimes she still feels her heart longing to love him again, but she knows he's been dead to her for far too long. She no longer will be peering over a grave. She has become something beautiful, because Poppa's presence has been so near. She knows that she is lovely. She knows she can trust Him with her heart. She spends time in her secret place. She hears His voice calling her name. He is the lover of her soul, and she is patiently waiting. She knows she's stronger when she leans on His everlasting arms. She's beautiful. She's lovely, and she's stronger and wiser than ever before. She is going to live, love, and laugh much. She's doing good...I know, because this woman is me. ~ A Modern Day Ruth
Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014

Monday, February 24, 2014

Her Afternoon Love Song

You are precious to me...Holy Spirit.
You are precious to me...Like the afternoon sun on a lake, shining.
Like the sunset of colors...You seduce me with Your love.
Nothing on this earth could compare or satisfy.
I'm intoxicated by your loveliness. Your fragrance is sweet to me.
You have stamped your name on my fragile heart
Pouring Your wax over me and sealing your love song within.
I never knew I could ever be so this in love.
You have captivated me with Your holy fire.
You have captured me by Your goodness and mercy.
You are precious to me...Holy Spirit.
You are precious to me...Like thousands of glimmering diamonds.
Your brilliance blinds me...You take me away with Your love.
Jesus, Lover of my soul. Nothing else satisfies like You. <3
~ Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014

Thursday, February 20, 2014

So Tired

There are days when I feel stretched beyond what I want to be. My struggles have been miles too long, and hard to smile through. I don't want your sympathy, but maybe just a little bit of understanding. 

I feel tired of this journey -of being strong, of making sure to not lose it, but maybe that's just what I need to do -to let it out. A sob has been knocking on my throat. It's been wanting to escape for quite some time. I know Poppa God has been revealing Himself through these difficult and trustworthy days. My mind wants to wander and dream of brighter days. If I could just flutter away to some place pleasant and carefree, like a butterfly landing a sweet fragrant rose. 

Strength is never gained without pushing past one's normal point of trying. Muscles are toned by going one push further than your "possible" is my growing faith. It's going past what I can see or feel in the natural. I know I'll be alright, but in this tiring moment, I just want to exhale away all my pain, fatigue, and the need to carry the cares of my sweet kids and me. 

I don't want to be the man anymore. I want to be taken care of, and I just want to be held.
No words need be spoken -just a warm embrace that won't judge or ask anything of me. 

Oh, that someone will see me out of my beautiful mess ...with acceptance and complete assurance, "I'm not leaving you, ever. I'm not going to hurt you or desert you." Maybe a gentle, smiling eye that reads, "I see your journey, your strength, and your pain...and I find you even more beautiful because of it." ~ A Modern Day Ruth, Jenny Williams Copyright 2014

He Walked Away: How To Overcome Heartache

                                                                                               Previously Written and posted April 2013

I kept waiting night after night for his truck to pull into the driveway. I slept in his t-shirt just to keep his scent near me. My days were blurred in a thick foggy haze. I barely slept, I barely ate, I lost the desire to live. I was truly heartsick. I can still remember my teenage son's voice saying, "Mama...don't you think it's time you slept upstairs in your bed again?" I felt so lost. I told myself he would come back; that somehow his truck had broken down and that he wasn't able to call. I tried to reason with my heart that he wasn't really gone; that he would be back. I was completely heartsick. I never really fully understood what the words meant when someone said their heart was broken. Oh, the sure pain of it surreal. I don't take those words for granted anymore. I have learned to pray, comfort, listen and hold someone's hand when they say those words. I am so eternally grateful for Poppa God walking me through that difficult time in my life. He truly healed that shattered broken heart, and then He gave me a purpose -even a rare beauty out of what was meant to destroy me. It's been several years now and those memories have faded, but I have not forgotten. What should you do when your heart is broken? Here are some things that helped me through that painful season:

* If someone has left you, don't beg and plead for them to stay or come back. The best advice my grandmother gave me was: "If a man wants to walk, let him walk."  Begging, pleading, crying, manipulating, or pining for them to stay will only prolong your pain and suffering and that of your children. If someone wants to stay they will do it out of their own free will. You can't force someone to love you or to be faithful to you. Love is a choice, so let them choose. I know it hurts. I know you can't imagine your life without them, but you have to let them decide on their own.

* Decide and determine in your heart that you will hold onto God no matter what. It's not His fault that a human you loved disappointed you. Cling to His promise that He will never leave you or forsake you. Cry out to Him. Pray. Choose to read His word, stay in church. Even if you feel like your world is falling apart remember that you are in the palm of His hand and He will carry you. He is closer than a brother and a friend at all times. Let Him hold you and comfort you. He can handle your pain and your tears. Life may not make sense right now but life will get better again. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy will come in the morning.

* Reach out to someone you can trust; a prayer partner, a best friend, a pastor or mentor. Let them know what's going on. A true friend will care and be there for you during difficult times. Don't allow the lies of the enemy to tell you that you have to go through this alone. You need help during this time and it's okay to admit that. Ask others to pray for your strength, peace of mind, healing in your heart to take place.

* Remember to take care of your body. When you go through heartache your overwhelming feelings invade you and you may forget to eat. Your appetite may be completely gone. Choose to at least eat some protein and drink water daily to keep yourself  hydrated.

* Choose to live life. You probably want to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing. Force yourself to get up and get out of the house. Go for walks, see a movie with a friend, grab coffee and read the Word. I know it feels like your life is void and empty, but whatever you do, do not stop living. If you were happy before this person came into your life, you can be happy again without them. It will just take time.

* In the moments when you are completely overwhelmed by the grief and surges of feelings, have a friend you can call or text so they can pray for you. Sometimes the pain in your heart will feel like a sneaker tidal wave. You may feel completely like your drowning, but imagine yourself holding onto God's hand. He is right beside you and He will not let you be consumed. He is your anchor during the storm. Allow yourself to feel the pain and remind yourself that these feelings are temporary and they will pass. Breathe.

* Take time to reflect. You can't do a thing about the person who broke your heart, but you can reflect and think about what you could do differently. Listen to God's voice and be honest with yourself. It's a healthy approach to admit your mistakes and to glean wisdom from them. Ask God to show you what was unhealthy about the relationship. The truth sets us free. Don't beat yourself up though and do not condemn yourself. Don't blame yourself for everything either. It takes two people to have a relationship. Everyone has something they can do better and things to work on.

* Determine in your heart that you will forgive the person who hurt you. It doesn't mean you don't feel the pain anymore. It doesn't mean you are letting them off the hook -it means letting God deal with them. It means that you choose to walk in God's love. He can deal with people's hearts better than we can ourselves. I know it hurts. I know you're angry. I know you feel betrayed. It's okay to feel these feelings, but make the decision to forgive them. Ask God to help you in this. God can handle your feelings. Forgiveness is not a feeling but a decision.

* Do not choose to date or get involved in another romantic relationship until a lengthy time has passed. It's the worst mistake you can make. To start dating while your heart is broken is like walking around with a broken foot on novocaine. When the numbness wears off you will hurt even more. The damage will be greater. A second heartache is worse than first. Trust me -I know. Just because you feel better does not mean you are completely healed and ready for a relationship. Healing of a broken heart takes time. It's a process. God is a gentlemen and He heals our hearts one layer at a time, like an onion. Do yourself and the other person a favor -guard your heart. Get healthy first.

* Do special things for you. You are worth it. Go for walks, exercise, get a pedicure. Pamper yourself. Pamper a girlfriend. Do something kind for a neighbor. Do things that are stress relieving. Comfort yourself by surrounding yourself with good people and good atmosphere. Buy candles. Try a new hobby. Join a choir. Do it for you.

* Remember that tears are part of the process. It doesn't mean you are going backwards. A memory, a song or a smell might trigger feelings of the person who left you. Allow yourself to feel the pain and then move forward. Tears are cleansing, they're part of how God designed us to heal. He cares about you and the tears that fall on your pillow at night. So much that He actually records them in heaven.

* Avoid seeking comfort from places and things that will only temporarily numb your pain. Stay away from alcohol, drugs, sex outside of marriage, online dating services, or people who are a bad influence. All these things may feel good for a while, but your life will end up in destruction. Seek comfort from Jesus, His word, your friends, church, etc. Anything that is good, pure, lovely -think on those things.

* Know and remember that your pain and broken relationship are not your identity. You are lovable. You are a child of God. Nothing you can do can separate you from His unfailing love for you. He loves you right where you're at. Your mess is not who you are. Just because someone stopped loving you does not mean that you are unlovable. That is a huge lie of the enemy to try to destroy your confidence and self esteem.

Praying for you, Dear one. God is with you in this season. Love will bloom again on the branches of your heart. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share for encouragement purposes. All scriptures are taken from the  NIV Bible Version.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

 Hebrews 13:5
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Psalm 51:17
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Simply Me

She's not perfect but she tries. She dreams bigger than her reach. She laughs at herself and her silly ways. When nobody is watching she dances in her kitchen to music and praise. She breathes sea air and squishes her toes on a sandy beaches. Singing to Poppa God in a bubble bath is her favorite thing. Sunsets make her grateful. She's true country in her blood and her faith is found with deep unrelenting roots. She feels pretty in her lace Sunday dress and wears her aqua boots. Coffee is her sane addiction. Chocolate is her pleasure along with good meaningful conversation. She fights for what she believes in...she's a pajama wearing prayer warrior. She's loyal to those she holds dear. Music is like blood flowing in her veins. She writes, sings, creates and her brain is always inspired. She loves to talk to all of God's little creatures...they are her friends. She loves satin ribbons and things that sparkle and glimmer. Her feet love pretty shoes and pedicures. She's been a beautiful mess but she is blessed. She's a proud momma and always will be. She's had broken wings, but now she soars to greater heights; and the wind of the Holy Spirit causes her to fly in heavenly places. She is...a daughter of the Great King. She's simply me. ~ Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014

Saturday, February 15, 2014

What I Wish I could Say To My Stalker

Stalker situations are so frustrating. I wish this woman would see the her own worth and value in Christ and choose to present and write her own authentic words and messages instead of trying to carbon copy my own personal testimony and life. It's fine to learn from others; to be mentored and to glean wisdom from them, but it's a not-so-fine line you have crossed when you start using their personal life and successes and try to make them known as your own.

Dear Sister in Christ -a few words I want to say to you, dear: Value yourself and take pride in what you do. God made you unique. He placed your own message within you. Trying to carbon copy another person is insulting not only to that person, but to the Creator. Love yourself. Love the personal and REAL message God has placed within you, then your message will be honest and authentic. Your own style, photos, writings and message are enough, you don't need to use mine.

You want to grow and be successful, but you are going about it the wrong way. Don't use my original writings without proper acknowledgement. It's unethical and wrong to steal and use someone's writings without honoring or acknowledging the name of the author.  This should be a primary rule and known etiquette as a Christian writer. You should learn and follow this principle. Also, if you desire to permanently use my paragraphs or descriptions from my pages and other social media content or websites, it's proper to ask first. Stealing someone's writings and personal comments is still stealing even if you just change a few words to try and make it your own. It's called plagiarism and it's breaking the law. Also stalking a person on the internet is called cyber stalking....This too is breaking the law. I just thought you should know. 

By the way, you can never carbon copy me completely. I am a one of a kind woman, fashioned from Poppa God. My anointing is from Him. Accept and love yourself. Be who God intended you to be. You do not need ride on the hem of my robe to be successful. It's flattering that you admire me, but if you're going to be unethical and steal my identity and original writings, I can't help you, and neither can God bless you to the fullest in your own ministry. Mentoring is a privilege earned when you respect the one who is teaching. Honor God and others....HONOR is the key piece of wisdom. I believe in you. I believe that you can turn this around and use this as a valuable lesson. Hurting others to advance yourself is really not going to get you where you need to go. I love you and I'm praying for you and I ask that you please stop using my property without permission, and especially cease using my personal details and life story and pretending they're your own.  It's creepy and disturbing. Please be yourself.
If you do not stop using my personal comments, photos, articles, and anything of mine that I have written or posted on any of my pages or websites- Including any social network posts of mine- I will have to expose your name and ministry. I feel its wrong to mislead others using a false persona...You are harming others in doing so. Truth will catch up with you.

Sincerely and unapologetically, Me- Jenny ( RW Ministries  Copyright 2014 )  A Modern Day Ruth and Ruby Wives

Sincerely, Me

In The Pouring Rain

I woke up to feeling sad and broken. Healing must be on an unknown time schedule. Yesterday was "the" anniversary, and I was caught off guard with memories that knocked on my heart. I wasn't prepared. I handled it as best as I could and smiled through the evening, but inside I wanted to cry. A man and his wife were sitting at a table next to me. He left for about 15 minutes and came back. He carried the strong scent of cigarettes- the brand "he" smoked. It taunted me. It smelled like him. I had no place to escape to. It was as though all of a sudden I was standing in the pouring rain with no umbrella. I had no shelter, just the cold memories soaking through to my skin. I really loved him. I adored him. Thank God that sudden showers are short-lived. I guess the sad realization is that there will always be a love for him, no matter what I do. I'm not giving in to it, though. I don't live to wait for someone who refuses to love me back. I remind myself that it was just a storm, and the sun will come out again. I am shivering cold, so... Poppa God, hold me, and keep me safe and warm. ~ Written by Jenny Williams,  A Modern Day Ruth   Copyright 2014

Friday, January 31, 2014

She Can

I feel like I have been this caterpillar that has been hidden in dark places for a long time. It was a place of transformation, a place of change in my heart and life. God has been gently working on me. At times I felt like giving up because it was so dark, so lonely, and so confining. I wrestled with destiny and my dreams. I had to let go of relationships that were unhealthy or dead. I had to shed the false words and labels people put on me...people who were jealous or just misunderstood me. They couldn't understand my tears, my pain or frustrations. I felt so stuck. I felt so depressed and worried that my life was always going to be dark and lonely. In this dark space where I have been dwelling, I have been clinging to His word and promises, at times feeling so silly and awkward that I was proclaiming all these things that did not mirror my current situation, or feeling like I'm never going to be loved passionately again, and telling that devil "NO" -that this strange gal was worth anything to anyone. At night my head would be spinning, but Poppa God Himself would not let me give up on my dreams or what He promised. I wriggled out of my old broken, abandoned, and rejected self and I am now different. Some people can accept the new me -the one who is walking in the fulfillment and purpose God has for me. Others cheer me on. I had to let my ears fall and deafen to any sounds of negativity, of people who criticize and like to see me fail. I chose the positive Word of God over poison from the enemy. It's been a little cramped in this holding tank...this cocoon of transformation. I feel restless and I am starting to see my wings emerging. What is this? It's not familiar, but I feel stronger. I'm a bit scared, but I know it's time to fly and soar. These wings will take me places, new places, new doors, new connections, new lovely and pleasant places; and I can rest when I need to. I can move to where I need to go. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can scale walls. I can speak to mountains that are in front of me. I can step on the necks of my enemies. My fears, doubts, and disbelief...I can crush them under my feet. His peace is upon me. How lovely are the feet of those who bring good news. I am cherished. I am loved deeply. I am accepted. I am favored and I am blessed. She got her wings....and now she can fly. ~ Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2014

Monday, January 20, 2014

Crazy Woman Who keeps On Moving

I am in the weirdest and quirkiest mood. I feel like eating organic chocolate with sea salt and dark baby leaf salad with balsamic dressing. I want to wear long knee-high socks and boxers and to paint on a huge canvas -rich deep colors of purple, magenta, plum, and turquoise...drink a glass of fireside vino...listen to Jeremy Riddle worship music. Maybe it's the delirium of the last 4 days. A physical fight that turned into a dual battle for my mind and faith. Being a Ruth on most days is not fun, but I have found victories are beautiful and so worth it. We wear them proudly on our soul. They remind us of God's faithfulness. I see these victories like shining ornaments or glittering badges. They are sewn onto us for eternity. They are the glimmering shining hope and constant reminder to the enemy of who we belong to and what God has brought us through. They remind the enemy of his failures. I fought pain for 4 days straight. Strong indescribable writhing...unrelenting pain. Morphine and Vicodin were not much as swords of men to fight this dragon that kept breathing it's venomous smoke of doubt that this pain would ever end.  If the enemy has my mind, he begins to get headway, but thank God there's always a strategy. There's always hope. There is always a name and a savior I can call upon between melt downs of tears. Friends were praying, and I even though I felt too weak to pray I knew it worked because I woke up this morning and was able to face this dragon and snuff out it's smoke. Is my pain gone? No. Is my life all better? No, but this battle was won. I conquered this one by the confession of my mouth and by speaking out loud the truth of who I am as a daughter of the Most High; and though I feel bloodied, tired and worn out, there's one more shiny reminder on my gown -a memorial to remind me of the victory I have in Christ Jesus. Life has battles, but we have the promised victory because Christ lives in us ....the hope of GLORY.  Written by this humbled but victorious woman- Jenny Williams Copyright 2014  A Modern Day Ruth

Philippians 3:12 NIV
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 NIV

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Love Story (As Featured in Virtue Magazine Feb/Mar 2014 Edition)

My love story is different than some...One day, the true love of my life walked out the door for the last time. It was one of the most painful and devastating times imaginable, but I knew I had to keep going, and it was only by the grace of God that I did. I started Ruby Wives Ministry, and it was growing by leaps and bounds. I had no idea that during my own heart shattering crisis, God would make something good come out of my ashes. My humbled and naive idea of helping other hurting women who were silently struggling in their marriages while dealing with separation or divorce, would turn into something bigger than I could ever plan. It was really stepping out onto the water for me, because I didn't even know how to make a Facebook page at the time. I was crying in a crumpled heap on my pile of laundry when I heard His almost audible voice whisper to my heart: "I want you to take these women with you on this journey."

Two and a half years later, thousands of women and even men have become faithful readers of our pages that offer simple prayers, wisdom, and encouragement for spouses. God allowed my brokenness and reflection of the mistakes I made as a wife to become wisdom gems to share with others. Through transparently shared struggles about my own journey of healing, our readers responded openly and thanked me because they could relate. My tears became their comfort, because they felt they were not alone. My surrendered weakness to God became my new-found strength as well as theirs, because they were dealing with similar circumstances. Then came the newly wed brides, the happily married wives...women of different circumstances and statuses, broken or abandoned...they all became fans. I realized that as I was learning and gleaning wisdom and sharing it with wives, a positive growth and change was happening. It was contagious. Praise God! It was all His beautiful plan unfolding before me. Letters poured in from around the world with reports of marriages being restored and women being encouraged. My heart has been so overabundantly blessed, and even though things haven't turned out the way I thought they would, or the way I wanted them to, God revealed to me that He has always had a plan, and that He knew what was best for me. He built a full time ministry out of my broken mess and ashes, and He built a new dream in me. Beauty had come.

One thing I have learned through this beautiful, crazy and amazing journey, is that we all have one thing in common: a broken heart is a broken heart. Pain is pain. Marriage troubles are the same everywhere, no matter who you are or where you are from. The internet is a way to reach women in all parts of the world. Barriers are broken by it. I have had countless pastors' wives who were hurting in silence because their spouse was having an affair, struggling with addictions, etc., write to me for advice and prayers. They felt safe reaching out for help online.

Through this process, I finally came to a certain place of healing and surrender in my heart, I saw that God had an even bigger plan, and that I was not to look backward anymore. I found that my love story isn't over, it's being rediscovered and revised by the One who created love in the first place. Thus, A Modern Day Ruth was born. God revealed that the "Ruth" of this generation is primarily the woman who has been abandoned, divorced because of circumstances beyond her control, or has experienced abuse and neglect. The Modern Day Ruth is a woman who has experienced a devastation or even spiritual and emotional "death." Her husband has died to her and the family, and has walked away.

We live in a society where if it isn't easy or if it needs fixing, we will just go get a "new one" and people end up discarded as if they're replaceable things. It's so sad. Our world would be a happier and better place if people valued and honored marriages and families. What's worse is that the very place where women like us should find refuge comfort and support -the church- often judges, condemns, and turns its head away from these women. Many times I, myself, have felt that the Christian family I thought would be there for me, looked at me like I was the woman with the scarlet letter, as though I was someone who slept around. I was surprised to find that this is the perception some people have of single moms. That was definitely not the case for me, and even if it was, what would Jesus do? He never condemned the woman at the well, nor did he throw a stone at the woman who supposedly was caught in the act of adultery. I see the story of the woman at the well as tragic. She must have had her heart severely broken several times. She must have been abandoned, rejected, lied to, used, and promised false forevers... I often wish I could go back in time and hug that woman in the Bible and tell her I love her and that she's going to be alright, but Jesus did it for me.

Now, as I walk this role of A Modern Day Ruth and as a leader of women, I continue to reach out to as many as possible, to remind each one that her love story doesn't just end in heartache and tears, and that her life isn't going to be just struggle and pain. I know she faces tear-stained pillow nights and wrestles with ongoing loneliness. She wakes up to difficult days of surviving while trying to take care of her children...the family her husband left behind. Though Ruth was a widow, she ended up having her season of heartache turn to a lifetime of joy, and the promise of a lasting legacy. I am many times reminded of the words that are engraved upon my heart, and I have clung to them often: Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Everyone has a love story. Sometimes that love story doesn't turn out the way you wish it would have. Maybe you're fighting for your love story right now to continue -fighting to keep your marriage alive, or your fairy tale dream may already have been shattered or ended in disappointment. Mine is that God took my messed up, abandoned, and broken heart and held me. He cradled me in the midst of my sheer agony and emotional turmoil. He didn't save my marriage, but He saved me. He gave me purpose and He took each piece of my heart and mended me, making me stronger and better than before. I have come to know that in Him I do have my happy ever after, and my love story with Him is still beautifully unfolding. Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2014

Monday, January 13, 2014

Warning Signs You Are Involved With Someone Dangerous

Warning signs you are falling for a "Bad Boy" Man.

 *He gives you an emotional high, but he doesn't sustain a real relationship with you.
* He hides personal information. He won't share his passwords for his phone, email, etc.
* He talks about and compares you to his past girlfriends/wives.
* He doesn't respect your body. He won't wait until marriage to sleep with you.
* He disappears for hours, days, or weeks at a time. He makes up excuses why you couldn't reach him or he was unable to contact you.
* He doesn't provide. He may talk of working, but doesn't hold a job long. He will always use a new excuse. You end up paying most of the time or for everything.
*He doesn't mind that you compromise your morals and values to be with him.
* Your relationship has to be hidden and kept a secret from your family, friends and those you respect.
* He makes you feel like it's your fault if you have a fight. He turns his wrongdoings onto you. He manipulates everything in his favor.
* He blames others for past relationship failures and does not acknowledge his mistakes or actions. It's usually a sob story of someone abusing him or using him.
* He changes his stories and breaks his promises. He doesn't follow through most of the time. When he does, it's short lived and then he's right back into the damaging behavior.
* He's a charmer. He knows just what to say to hook you in again. He says the words you want to hear but does not back up his words with actions.
* He will talk with you about spiritual things and God to draw your affection towards him, but he does not live a spiritual or godly lifestyle. He uses scriptures to manipulate you.
* He has to hide his texts, phone numbers, emails to stay in contact with you.
* He has a criminal background and he undermines his mistakes or says he didn't do it.
* He angers easily over small things and gets erratic when confronted with truth.
* He enjoys violence and is proud of beating his peers up.
* He gives a reason why he can't leave the other girlfriend. Run.
* He harbors addictions: Smoking, alcohol, porn, etc. He has an excuse why he won't give them up.
* He has no problem with sleeping around outside of marriage. He'll have an affair, a drinking/drug binge, etc., and have no remorse later.
* He relies on you or has other women take care of him. It should be the other way around.
* He moves a lot. He crashes or stays with friends or other women until he's outlived his welcome.
* He makes you feel bad about yourself. Your appearance, your strengths, your weaknesses... he makes you feel not good enough.
* He dishonors and disrespects people in authority, your parents or people you look up to.
* He is overly jealous if another man looks in your direction or speaks with you.
* He is constantly suspicious of you having an affair or possibly cheating on him.
* He doesn't have goals or dreams that he strives to achieve.
* He uses depression/suicide attempts as control or manipulation to get you to stay in the relationship.
* He has you hang onto "what we used to be" -those happy up in the clouds feelings, but it never gets that way again, or if it does it's just temporary.
* He leaves you abandoned. He leaves at the drop of a hat. Comes and goes as he pleases and won't give you real answers.
* He asks for your money that you earn. He promises to pay back but doesn't. He steals or uses your account without your consent.
* He has you spending more of your energy pleasing him than he you. 

* You somehow end up supporting his bad habits...buying his cigarettes, alcohol, etc.
* You spend more time in the relationship on your knees crying for him to love you, to change, or to have your happy ever after with him. If you are crying and hurting most of the time- this is NOT love. True love should never hurt this much.

 Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2013 

Friday, January 10, 2014

Grocery Aisle

A few evenings ago I was pushing a grocery cart in a discount food store. As I came up the aisle, a nice older gentleman smiled at me. My normal response was to smile back and I continued scanning the area for my items. When we came across each other again the next aisle over, we exchanged smiles once more. I noticed he smelled nice...not because of cologne or aftershave, he just had a nice clean manly smell. At that moment I felt like breaking down in the middle of the aisle and saying, "Please hold me, Sir." Since I'm not crazy or desperate, I didn't act upon my thoughts, but inside I silently sighed and cried just a tiny bit. I was feeling so depleted from having to be strong. My body ached to not feel alone. I just wanted to bury my nose in that kind man's jacket shirt and feel safe. I know it would have been totally ridiculous, and I would never really do that- because I'm a lady. It didn't help that my nose was being super bionic...every aisle I shopped this distinguished man's natural scent hauntingly wafted over to me. He also seemed to needlessly cross my path in every aisle...along with his friendly grin. Oh, that silly nose...Written By Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2014

Thursday, January 9, 2014

It Ain't Easy

Being a modern day Ruth isn't easy. Sometimes that ache in your heart nags at you and reminds you of the love you used to have. You have lost everything, but you keep hanging onto a dream that one day you will be loved again. You push yourself past your painful circumstances and continue to be faithful in serving others. Some nights you fall asleep with tears running down your face, but you don't let anyone know, because you have had to be strong for far too long. God whispers His love words in your ears and reminds you to trust in His promises. Sometimes the field you're in seems so vast and wide, and your assignment during this season seems so long. Your character and perseverance is being tested to the max. You wonder how much longer you can smile and keep going. Obstacles you have encountered have been making you strong. In these lonely moments, remind yourself that God is faithful and His love is everlasting. No man can fill your soul. Only He can. Just be busy about His business. Embrace the process of being refined, and when you least expect it, your Boaz will see you from across the field. ~ Jenny Williams,  A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2013