Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I Hear The Sound Of Heaven

Prophetic word:

Get up out of your ash heap
Rise up and dust yourself off
You have mourned enough over what you lost
You have become too comfortable
sitting in your misery and tears.

I hear the sound of heaven
The sounds of laughter and rejoicing
being sung out over you.

I smell the perfume of Heaven
being poured out over you
The anointing oil clinging to you

There was a time when Job
finally got up out of his ashes
and so must you
have the will to see better days
and the promise of His restoring

Let the rains of heaven wash
away the ashen smudges
of your yesterdays
No more looking at yourself
in your burnt up ruins and dreams

I hear the sound of singing and laughing
It's time to rejoice in Him
For He was faithful-
He did not let you die
He did not let you be destroyed
and you became stronger within.

He's singing His love song over you
Smell His fragrance dripping all over you
Clap and sing
HIS beauty is being revealed
It's a new day for you -brand new!!!!

Monday, December 30, 2013

She Said Yes

She said yes-

To saying goodbye to everything and everyone who had broken her heart.

To forgiveness and not letting bitterness ruin her.

To not looking over her shoulder at memory lane, to not trying to bang down a door that's been purposefully shut, and to not wasting away her life waiting for someone to come back and love her.

To becoming wise, learning from her bad choices and mistakes.

To not letting men use her, abuse her, cheat on her, or treat her with less respect and care than what she deserves.

To letting go of fears and embracing "I can's".

To being herself and loving her smile, her heart, her spirit and her body -to knowing she's loveable.

To trusting God in all areas of her life.

To having huge and crazy dreams and not letting anyone talk her out of them.

To loving herself, taking care of her body, her mind, and soul.

To not letting the ashes, burnt up dreams, heartaches and disappointments destroy her or keep her from her God given destiny.

To smiling, laughing, being silly, having fun, being creative and letting each moment count.

To letting him know she can live without him, that her worth never is based on his perception of who she is.

To kissing that fool goodbye for the last time.

To being lovely, sparkly, shiny and vibrant.

To taking her tears and making them useful. She writes, she sings, she creates, and she wipes the tears of others, reminding them that God can heal their hearts too.

To allowing herself to be available to romantic love again but with higher standards. She's a daughter of God, after all.

To walking out and living in her God given purpose and destiny. To be being a Queen for such a time as this. Yes, she can do it.

To wearing the pretty shoes and walking in authority, stomping and crushing the enemies lies beneath her feet!

To dancing and going to high places.

To hanging out with winners, believers, overcomers and achievers; accepting healthy and inspiring people in her life, saying no to people who suck the joy and life out of what God has created to be beautiful and honor Him.

To growing, glowing, giving, sharing, and loving.

To expecting the good and beautiful and expecting blessing and favor to be in her life.

Written by Jenny Williams  Copyright 2013 A Modern Day Ruth

Sunday, December 29, 2013

I Have A Plan For You

You have been sitting in the ash heap of your broken heart and burned up dreams. You had to rest and be still there a while, because your pain was so immensely great. You felt stuck, but had to be still for Poppa God to heal you. He sat there next to you in your great pain and grief. At times you couldn't feel His presence, and this pained you, because the depths of emotion were so dark and lonely.... Many friends and family were there at the beginning, but they finally stopped hanging around. In your time of isolation, you were being held under the very wing of His love. His shadow was protecting you from the harsh exposure of your brokenness. You were laid out bare and feeling naked. False shame and the soot of your ashes made you feel unlovable and unworthy. You felt that all eyes saw only your mistakes and your rejections -your ashes; but He was washing you gently. Pulling out the splinters and shards of glass that penetrated your heart. The abandonment you felt was so heavy, you thought you could never be loved again, but He was with you all the time. Some nights were so long and so lonely, your tears fell like waterfalls. Your pillow was soaked at night. You bravely smiled in the daylight and told others you were fine. Your soul was being strengthened. Your resilience was emerging. Your faith was growing through the thickets and briers ...stronger, reaching high to the heavens. You didn't know this, but the saints were cheering you on. God Himself was holding your hand when no-one would comfort you. Your tears have been collected carefully in His perfume bottle. His oil of gladness is now replacing the sorrows for songs of joy. Rise up, Beloved. Out of your ash heap you will rise. He is pouring out His sacred, sweet oil on your head. He is the Glory and lifter of your head. Those who look to Him are radiant and their faces are never covered in shame. The traces of the ashes are no more. Your robes are radiant and white, glimmering like diamonds -just as the afternoon sun shines on a lake. There will be scars from what you overcame, but they are your marks of beauty for His glory and purpose. The pain will fade away, but your strength and faith will remain. You will rise, Darling. You will stand on the heap of the enemy, with his head crushed under your feet. You will walk in honor and beauty. You will be celebrated as one who is a mighty and brave warrior -a princess anointed as queen at the table of the King of Glory. Do you hear Him call out to you? "Rise up, Beautiful One. You are my Beloved, and I am faithfully yours." ~Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2013. Please share for encouragement purposes.

Friday, December 20, 2013

One Of Those Days

Sometimes I just want comfort, because the ache of missing someone is so great. I just don't want to get out of bed, because the thoughts haunt and linger like an old friend, and I wonder if they remember me. Sometimes I just don’t want to fake a smile, because the emotions are just way too close to the surface and it feels like I’m truly at the breaking point of a tear slipping down. No, thank you. I have come this far. So I just want to eat some chocolate, or maybe a comforting gourmet cheese sandwich with soup; but please, please don’t drag me anywhere. I’m just tired, very tired. I know this temporary feeling will pass just like a quick little rain shower. I’m not going backward, I refuse to do that. I’m going forward, if only someone could hold me and not say a word. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives  Copyright 2012  All rights reserved.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Please Don't Throw Me Away

Memories have brought on emotions I don't ever want to feel again. Seeing couples and families at church during the holidays is so painful to watch. During a service recently, I just felt like I wanted to run down the aisle and escape the feeling of complete isolation. It was more than I could endure to see husbands holding their wives during the sermon. I used to do that... nestle my head on my husband's shoulder. I just kept thinking to myself, "I just want to be loved."  I don't want him back, but I want to be loved by a man again. If I could trust someone, if I knew I wasn't going to be discarded when troubles or difficulties came.  I still have to remind myself that I'm not trash. That I'm not ugly or unlovable. To be honest, it's hard to convince this troubled heart at times. I could just go date anyone. I have been asked out plenty of times, but I am picky now. I don't just go out for the sake of going out. My heart is too fragile for that. I am still healing from the damage the one I loved did to me. The one I took back even after he had left me for another woman-the one who threw me away like trash. The one who took me for granted. The one who left me abandoned over and over. I wish he could comprehend the pain and damage he did to my heart. To my kids. It nearly cost me my life. It's been so hard to believe that any man could love me. I guess whoever walks into  my life will have to be patient and understanding of this. He will have to handle my heart gently. Dear future husband of mine: Please don't leave. Don't throw me away. Don't take me for granted. Don't ignore me and leave me always waiting and wanting...waiting for you to touch me, hold me, to talk to me...To be with me. Don't leave me drowning in my tears, keeping me in chains of worry as I try to be good enough for you -and whatever you do, don't make me feel lonely. Don't treat me like a side dish or a back pocket kind of girl. Keep me up front close to your heart. Let me know I'm special and valuable; that I'm enough, that I'm the only one, that I'm lovable- flaws and all. Let me know you need me and my love.
Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

Friday, December 6, 2013

Can I Just Not Be A "Ruth" Today?

The holidays add a whole other ball game to the rough road and field that we are in as "Ruths". Sometimes I feel like people just don't understand the load and extra emotions we face. As a single momma of teenagers, I already struggle with paying the bills and putting food on the table. Add Christmas on top of that and it's hard...really hard. I cry at night when the kids are in bed. Certain songs trigger memories I would like to forget. Sometimes I just wish I could not be a "Ruth" for a day. My ideal fantasy world would be me on a cozy sofa drinking a Starbucks mocha and gazing at the flames in a fireplace. Lovely pretty creamy white stockings would be hanging from the mantle. Music would be playing and presents would be wrapped and under the tree with no worries. There would be a stable, godly man who loves me gazing and smiling at me. The kids would feel comfort and safety and their world wouldn't be so broken. That's my Christmas fantasy. For today, though, I just don't want to be a "Ruth" struggling in the field. I just want to be the "Ruth" who has her Boaz helping her and holding her -knowing he's never going to leave me. Written by Jenny Williams Copyright  2013

Monday, December 2, 2013

Silently Crying

Though I am silently crying....I surrender I lay it down. Sometimes a song is an expression of what's going on in my heart...This song says it all. Even if it's just to speak your name...I'm going to pray.

http://youtu.be/a_J4I4gsvYA  By Sanctus Real

Friday, November 29, 2013

Tender Places

When you lose someone you love, the holidays can be bittersweet. I usually smile -and then smile some more. I plow through. The most important thing for me is the happiness of my kids. They don't know how hard it is -and honestly, I hope they never experience this from my viewpoint. My youngest, who is 12, kept hugging me all day. She clung to me. I think somehow she knew how I was feeling, but no words were exchanged about it. She is a sweetheart -a tender heart...
I awoke this morning feeling tenderhearted. I wish there was a button for that -one that could turn off my heart, so I would no longer feel. It was strange, that last night before drifting off to sleep. I missed him just a little bit, but I reminded myself to not go there, because missing someone who has chosen not to be in your life does no good. It won't bring him back, and it won't change things. I remind myself that it was not him that I missed, but the idea of what I thought was real: to be loved by someone. I so badly wanted to be held last night and be told that everything was going to be alright, to feel a hand brush my cheek and wipe my tears. I know that my heart has been through a lot....and it's been healing these past four years. I think my heart must be like an elephant, because it seems to have a long memory. I don't want to be tender today. I just don't want to be reminded of the pain I once knew, but I know others hurt so much worse, and I will never forget for their sake. The brokenhearted need someone to care. They need a hug. They need assurance. May I never forget that, even when my life is filled with the love of someone again. Tender places are a painting of the human's emotions, captured in time.
Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

I Don't

I Don't:

I don't date bad boys because they just bring bad into my life.

I don't do drama or associate with people who love it. I focus on positives, not negatives.

I don't do gossip. I can't stand it -and if you do it in my presence, I will not endorse it, and I certainly won't trust you. 
I don't do liars. If you are deceptive, I most likely won't give you a second glance. Be truthful always with me. 

I don't take back a man who cheats on me. I used to, but I got off that merry-go-round. It's not a fun ride.

I don't do providing for a man. I'm not meant to bring home the bacon and cook it for you. I don't date guys who refuse to work.

I don't do stalkers. If you text 25 times in a day just because I haven't answered back, you need serious help.
I don't do cray cray (Crazy). A man must have a sound mind.

I don't do missionary dating. I won't be unequally yoked. You must already be saved. I'm not your savior.

I don't go out with a man who does not treat me like a lady. I won't teach you how to be a gentleman, you should already know how.

I don't take on the task of changing a man. Your Momma had that job. She raised you.

I don't take abuse from a man -not even a lifted hand in a moment of anger. One time and I'm out the door forever.

I don't date men who have addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or pornography. I won't judge you if you have had these addictions, but you have to be completely delivered and redeemed from them. I don't date chains of bondage.

I don't allow a man to defile me, dishonor me or sexually assault me. I am a Bride of Christ and I expect a man to treat me as such. 

I don't do men who live like paupers...(I'm not talking finances). I mean that you don't walk in the fullness and authority of Jesus Christ as joint heirs...You must be a son of the most High God...Walk and live as an ambassador of the King of Kings. I have a queen's heart and I want a man who treats me like one.

I don't do men who harm children or animals, or who are unkind to people who serve. How do you treat your waiter at a restaurant? This shows your true colors.

I don't respect men who can't respect and honor authority: parents, pastors, leaders, bosses, etc.

I don't do men who can't love my kids. They are my precious cargo. We are blessings not burdens.

I don't invest my heart into yours if you don't treat me as a valuable treasure.

I don't build dreams with a man who has no dream, no goal, no vision....I can't follow you otherwise.

I don't do men who are prideful and arrogant, because you will fall -a lot. A humble man is a good man.

I don't do men who are not sold out to God. You should be living a life surrendered to Christ every day. You read the Bible, Pray with me and for me...You attend church regularly and you pay tithes and offerings. You honor your parents so it goes well with you all your days.
Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.  A Modern Day Ruth

Monday, November 11, 2013

I'll Go Wherever You will Go

I think this road of embracing being a "Ruth" is going to lead me to the greatest love I have ever experienced and truly wanted. More importantly, the closeness of Poppa God wrapping my heart and drawing me nearer to Him has been so surreal ...and so precious. When your heart has been sick from being broken, you tend to appreciate every facet and every act of love -you just don't take it for granted. I think of my future Boaz I have not yet met, and what his heart has or may have been through...Always praying and pondering. ~ Jenny Williams A Modern Day Ruth 
My heart sings every lyric of this song: http://youtu.be/xynkd9a3jmU 

Saturday, November 9, 2013

The Incense

The incense...the perfume that was poured out upon His feet...the fragrance that filled the room was the evidence of a broken vessel. It was costly in more ways that one. Don't think that the humbled tears you have cried were for no purpose. There is beauty that comes from brokenness. The sweetness of His Grace touches lives around us. Our story becomes intoxicating, and our shared message of redemption lingers in the air. To God be the Glory. ~ Jenny Williams
A Modern Day Ruth

Friday, November 1, 2013

I wanna Be Real

I woke up with the song "I Want To Be Real" by Chris August on my mind. Music is always my heartbeat. I think that sometimes I think in lyrics. I am always singing a song around the house when I'm alone. Worship time is my favorite time. Music flows through my veins like blood. I like this song because I can so relate to the words. I just want to feel safe -safe to be me and not be afraid of being left or deserted. I just want to be me -all the time. I don't want to have the guard up...the walls up. Some days I just want to collapse in someone's arms and just be told everything is going to be alright...that I don't have to be strong anymore...that I can let go and rest...that they are not going to walk away or break my heart. I just want to be real. ~ Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013.

I want To Be Real by Chris August  http://youtu.be/qy4DqMUavdI

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

How To Displease Me


How To Displease Me

 My pet peeves are simple. These are things I seriously could go without in my life. Some of you might even agree with me on a few. They are in no paticular order.
1. Gossip: Don't even think about doing this in my presence. Any lady or gentleman knows better and does not speak ill of others nor do they entertain other people who do. Don't do this around me or I may say something to you. I do not tolerate gossip. Nothing good comes from it.
2. Not showing appreciation to those who serve you: Waiters, ushers, government workers, attendants, sales people...they have a tough job. Give them a smile, compliment them when they go out of their way. It's disrespectful to not give them a decent tip.
3. People who put labels on single mommas: Just because she's a single mom does not mean she sleeps around or is after your spouse. I have found christians to treat these women as outcasts. I've experienced this myself many times -even in church. Single moms have a rough road, and you don't know all the details that brought them to their status. Many of these women were abandoned or abused...all have been brokenhearted. Single moms are the '"Ruths" of this generation. Before you judge, walk in her shoes 24/7. What she really needs from you is love and acceptance. She needs help and hope.
4. Men who play games: Don't lie- not ever. Small lies are not okay with me. Being honest and saying how you feel is best. My heart is not a toy.
5. Rudeness: Please don't belch or pass gas in my presence. It's the hugest turn off ever. If one slips out- I understand but be polite about it. I am a lady.
6. Don't cuss in my presence. Don't use God's name in vain. This strongly offends me and grieves my heart.
7. Talking down to me in public or yelling at me in sarcastic tones: I won't do this to you either. It's disrespectful and dishonorable to do this to others.
8. Brown nylons -yuck. Margarine -gag. Only REAL butter will do. Fake sugar, artificial sweetener -so bad for you. Anything artificial is not a good idea.
9. Rude drivers: People's true colors come out when they drive. If you are one of these kinds of drivers, please don't have a fish symbol on the back of your bumper -you embarrass me.
10. Seeing others suffer: The homeless, animals who are hurting, children being neglected or abused, seeing someone cry and no one is offering to comfort them. If I could be a giant hug for everyone, I would. If you cry, I feel like crying. We must all do our part to help those who can't help themselves. Jesus was moved with compassion. May I never forget the fraility of a human heart. Love does more than any other action.
Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/ A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

Monday, October 28, 2013

Pamper Yourself

Being a single mom or recently divorced can be a rough time. You really need to allow yourself comfort and pampering. Don't wait for a man or someone else to do it. All women should value themselves and realize that it's healthy, not selfish, to take some time out to relieve stress. Here are a few ideas I do...Some are even free. :) 

1. Candles: I buy them just like I do milk and bread. They're a staple in my house. Light candles...fragrant ones can cozy up a room quickly. I use them daily for prayer and whenever I just need to relax. Cheap therapy :)

2. Baths: If you don't have luxury bath gels and bubbles, use several drops of vanilla extract from your bakers cupboard in the kitchen. I use cinnamon too. :) It smells yummy. Want to soften your skin? Use baking soda in your water. Make homemade scrubs for your face. Use sugar, vanilla, rock salt, honey...Your face will glow. Want a facial mask? Use part of a can of pumpkin pie filling and fragrant spices. Heavenly :) Have no bubbles? Use a little dish soap or shampoo...I have tried just about everything.

3. Turn on Norah Jones or smoky jazz or old classic love songs: Sinatra, Etta James, Louie Armstrong....Who can be in a bad mood when they are singing? 

4. Buy a new red lipstick and wear it :) Sometimes a little something just makes a girly girl feel good.

5. Go on a walk and talk to God. I do this and have the best times with the Lord.

6. Watch "It's A Wonderful Life"....My favorite Christmas Movie. You can't be depressed when watching this one.

7. Cheer someone else up...This always makes me feel happy. <3 Those who need to be encouraged are usually the best encouragers. I have found this to be so true.

8. Save gourmet chocolate and eat one piece when you need a little sweetness. You are worth it.

9. Tell your kids that you need a good hug. Let them know...A hug from a kid or elderly person is amazing.

10. Light a fire in the fireplace...I love looking at the flames. Wear fuzzy socks. :)

11. The English have it right...make a cup of tea and sip it slowly. It's so relaxing.

12. Do what you love....What's your creative outlet? I love to paint, write, sing, take photos, make homemade gifts for loved ones... Do something that expresses your feelings.

13. Bless a neighbor with homemade soup or some cut flowers. The elderly really appreciate your thoughtfulness. When you bless others, you bless yourself.

14. Paint your nails. Pink...Feminine and dainty, Hot pink is flirty..Red makes you feel passionate and sexy. Plum or burgundy is mysterious. I sometimes break down and pay for a pedicure... It's worth every penny. I love the massage and having someone make my feet cute.

15. Go for a drive. There's something about the motion of a car or plane that just puts me in a subdued and thoughtful mood. I usually day dream and get my downloads and ideas while traveling.

16. Pet and talk to animals. My kitty makes me feel good. Animals are easy to talk to and they don't judge like humans do. I love horses...Feeding them apples. They're beautiful. Go to a pet store. They make you smile.

17. Wear jammies and snuggle up with the kids. Watch a family movie together. Mine are almost grown, so they don't do this much, but I savor it when the kids are all in one room with me. They grow up so fast and soon they are gone.

18. Go out to dinner -a sit down dinner. Sometimes you just need to be waited on and not have to take care of everyone. Dress up. Put some makeup on. Wear heels. Feel good being a woman. Invite another single mom or friend. She probably needs a night out too.

19. Go bowling. When I'm upset it feels so good to get a strike. Knocking those pins down -it feels so good.

20. Eat dessert. Life's too short to not enjoy the little things. Life should be sweet no matter what.

21. Watch a sunset...It's free...It's relaxing and it always makes me feel grateful. Don't ever take sunsets for granted. God's showcase happens everyday...He paints the sky so beautifully. Thank Him for what He has given you.

22. Dance in your kitchen...I do this sometimes. I may look like a fool...but I feel good. :)

23. Go to the gym or do some form of exercise. I feel so amazing after a sweaty workout. Those endorphins are amazing. I feel sexy, beautiful and alive. Best therapy ever!!!

24. Look back at how far you have come. Pat yourself on the back. Tell yourself in the mirror that you are strong, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, gifted, a problem solver, a talented woman...etc. Don't wait for a compliment to come. You are worth being loved now. You are gorgeous, Darling.

25. Go to a beautiful place...A cozy café, a restaurant with pretty lighting, a lovely store...Any place that makes you feel special and inspired. I have a favorite jazz place where I like to go. The atmosphere is charming, the lighting, the music, the food...Great place. :)

Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

Friday, October 25, 2013

Love Message For You

I love what I do. I love and value our readers as family members. You are my sisters and brothers. God gave me a passion to help heal and empower women by sharing the wisdom I learned from my own personal mistakes. Through my own journey of overcoming abandonment and heartaches, and to remind them of what their value is as daughters of the Most High God. You are worth more than all the diamonds and rubies in the entire world...Don't ever doubt it. That even with brokenness and ashes, your story does not end. Your life is not over, but just begun. You have a future and a hope! You have a destiny still to fulfill. God's love for you does not waiver one bit. His love is everlasting and His beautiful Grace is sufficient for you. Don't ever let the enemy convince you that because someone doesn't love you or that you aren't lovable anymore. That's a lie. That person just did not see or appreciate the value of who you truly are, but someday someone will. Hold onto God's promises- they are for you. <3 Love, Jenny~ A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

How I Do It (Tips To Keep Going)

Some say, "How do you do it ?" This road and field ain't easy, and truthfully, there are times when I emotionally break down because the load is too much. Being a single Momma was not my ideal for my life or my amazing kids. I sometimes have to bravely put on a smile, even if inside I don't feel it. I have to pull up a scripture or promise and dwell on it. If I can't break through on my own, then I call my core encouragers and prayer support. It's never demeaning or weak to call reinforcement when the enemy of your life is attacking. That's what the body of Christ is for. When I'm lonely I tell Poppa God. When I feel defeated I try to speak out loud the word and declare His promises. I speak opposite of what I'm feeling, because faith comes by hearing the Word. I listen to positive messages from godly mentors and speakers. If I feel weary, I remind myself that I need to spend worship time and sing to the Holy Spirit...I sing love songs in my alone time with God. When I start feeling sorry for myself I look around to find someone else who needs encouragement. My heart gets happy if I know I have made a difference in someone's else's life. Sometimes if I have been holding things in too long, I break down and cry. It's healing and a release. Jesus, says to cast all our burdens on Him because He cares for us. He will never be too overwhelmed with our troubles. He can handle our list. We must trust Him and release it all. If I am physically shutting down, then I know I need a good old fashioned cat nap. This gives me a fresh perspective. More importantly, I just live one moment at a time because, honestly, one day at a time is too hard. God is my strength and my portion, He doesn't expect us to do it alone or on our own strength. In Him we live and move and have our being. Always remember that this is a temporary season. ~Love, Jenny, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.

Monday, October 21, 2013

I'm Here For You

My heart hurts today. It aches for those who are walking through a season of brokenheartedness. I know that pain is so surreal. I lived it. I breathed it. I cried those thousands of tears. I know the depth of betrayal and being traded for another lover. I know how it feels to give 110 percent to the one you loved and valued, only to feel unloved and unappreciated. I know the nights of crying out to God praying for your loved one to come home. I know that moment you trust them once more and they fail you again. I know the fears. I know the days of not being able to eat because your heart is so sick and distraught. I know the emotional waves that come crashing down, and you wonder if you can survive them. I know the aching need to remove the anguish and finding out there is nothing to numb it away. I know the sleepless nights when you analyze everything you did or didn't do right -wondering what it was that made that person walk out the door, and why they won't love you the way they said that they did.
I know all of these things. I just want you to know, dear one, it will get better. I know it feels like your world has been ripped out from under you, and that it feels like everything is over, but even in the midst of great brokenness, there is still a plan. I know you can't possibly see it right now because you are so engulfed in your pain and disappointment, but someday you will. In my heart I kneel beside you and I hold your hand. I am praying for you. May the God of all comfort surround you with His sweet peace. May His presence be so real to you in this dark time. May you find Him ever so close to you. He knows the pain of betrayal and brokenness. He knows what rejection feels like, and He is with you. He is crying with you. He loves you and He will never forsake you. Cling to the faith that you know. Rest your head upon His chest. Hear His beating heart for yours. God is for you and not against you. You will get to the other side, beloved. You will. ~ Love, Jenny from Ruby Wives and A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2013

Friday, October 18, 2013

Dear Ruth

To the "Ruths" who are waiting for a "Boaz" to walk into your life:
  I remember the day my Mama and I went to a powerful church service at Jesus Pursuit Church in Albany. We we're both going through some painful and difficult times. My heart had been severely broken by my husband of 13 years who walked away from God and his family. The air was thick in the sanctuary. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet. The music was going, and I was lost in worship. This place felt safe. In my heart I leaned against Poppa God on a white horse. I call God Poppa. I have always wanted to be a Daddy's girl, but my real Dad couldn't be there for me. In His presence I felt like I was the only one. I spiritually felt bare and naked with my broken heart exposed, but felt so safe and so warm resting in His arms. After the music and message that were given, my Mama wanted me to go up front to the altar area to be prayed for. I felt shy and awkward about it, but at my Mama's request, I did. She's my hero in so many ways. Anything she asks of me I will do. I was prayed for and given a precious and memorable word. I was told by the prayer lady that God wanted me know it wasn't my fault and that Poppa loved me. He called me His favorite. And at that moment I felt like I truly was. God is so awesome how He does this. We truly are His favorite. Each one of us. After some time I went and kneeled at the altar and cried out to Him. I heard Him say so clearly- I'm sending you a "Boaz". I pondered what He said. I knew it was His voice. I've never really been interested much about the story of Ruth and Boaz. I went to Sunday School as a child and it was never my favorite story, but since then I have studied the book of Ruth. I've listened and gleaned from it and applied it to areas of my life. Have I bumped into my Boaz, Yet? No, but I have learned to be busy about my Father's business. Loving others and working in the fields that God has called me to. I have met so many "Ruths and Naomies" along the way of this healing journey. I have spent the last few years gleaning and sharing wisdom of what a godly woman and wife should be like. Sharing my own journey, being transparent with my readers, praying and standing in the gap for marriages. We have helped soothe some broken hearts. Poppa God has been faithful. I see so many strong women who have been hurt and disappointed; but their faith shines like the sun and I am so privileged and blessed to know them. The story of Ruth is about redemption. Poppa God covers us with His love and redeems us from our painful past. He celebrates us as the Bride of Christ. He provides for us single mamas and is a Husband when we need one. He is also a Father to the fatherless. He is all that we have need of. I've learned to let go of searching for the affections of a man, and to put my broken bleeding heart into the hands of the Almighty. There, I know it will always be protected and safe. I have come so far, and I feel so grateful that I'm no longer broken or dismayed. He has given me purpose -given me a message that burns on my heart to share. Keep trusting God, Keep walking in faith, and do what God has called you to -and when the time is right, your "Boaz" will see you from across the field.   Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/A Modern Day Ruth. Copyright 2013.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Dear Future Boaz, I will Love You For A Thousand Years

Every part of this song relates to me on this journey -being afraid, all the healing, all the times of trying to be brave, and now the waiting -which seems like I have waited a thousand years. I've been letting Poppa God cut off the dead things in my life that were no longer needed. I can't wait to tell this to someone someday: "Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years....I'll love you for a thousand more. All along I have believed that I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me for a thousand years...I will love you for a thousand more."
I'm sure Ruth felt like this when she met her Boaz. Like she was finally "home" again. If I ever walk down that aisle, it just might have to be to this song...~ Written By Ms.Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth 
Song: A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

A Piece Of Me

Sometimes pieces of us begin to fade away....a little at a time. It's subtle at first, because we have compromised ourselves in a small area. We willingly give up just a bit of who we really are, and leave behind a part of ourselves just to continue to make that someone else happy, but soon we keep grasping for more of ourselves to give, because the one we love is never satisfied. Until finally one day, we wake up and realize we don't even see ourselves in their eyes anymore. Our heart is numb and we feel lost as we eerily stare into the mirror of our wounded soul. The curtain of illusion is lifted off of our blinded eyes, and we finally see that we have been left alone -and the one we thought we loved so much, the one we poured our all into, is gone. There's nothing left but shattered pieces. We are now tired and spent and left only with echoes of yesterdays, and no real sounds of love we desperately long to hear. ~ A Modern Day Ruth Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013

The Process

The process of becoming a queen is different than that of a princess. The more the Lord entrusts us with, the more He requires of us. I feel like I have been hidden away in a secret place being prepared for something greater than my understanding can conceive of. It's funny that when I was a little girl I wanted to be Queen Esther for a costume party. Other kids were monsters, cartoon characters or super heroes. No one knew who I was, but I would blurt out, "I'm Queen Esther!" My life has been far from royalty. I have lived a hard life, but through it all, I think my destiny has been whispering through every heartache and every hardship. He's preparing me for the dream He wants to fulfill in me. The past several months have been a painful, but a necessary time of refinement. He won't let me ignore certain areas anymore. I felt such struggle and even disappointment in myself. I felt like nothing but "ugly" was coming out of me. I told the Lord I felt so ugly because my weaknesses were coming to the surface, but He spoke so clearly, "You asked me to make you more beautiful. This is what I am doing."  He has been washing off the residue of the pain and hurts I have endured from past relationships. The old labels and recordings of harsh words that were spoken over me. The abuse...and trauma. The best part of this process has been bathing in His sweet presence. There's nothing like spending time with the Holy Spirit. Singing to Him -worshiping at the feet of the King. His fragrance is what I want to smell like. <3  I want to savor it. These 21 days of fasting have been challenging. At times I failed miserably -especially during the week of having a persistent fever, but the moments I had with Him were amazing. I long for more. Whatever God is doing in you, don't be hard on yourself. You are lovely. There is "Greatness" in you. He is preparing you for the next season -for such a time as this. ~ Love, Jenny. A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013.  All rights reserved.

Monday, October 7, 2013

I Feel So Beautiful When:

I feel beautiful when...
(I found it !!!! A writing of mine from a while back. This makes me smile... I'm still this woman but only better...Poppa God is so good ! )
I feel Beautiful When:
I'm lost in worship and everything else fades away.
I sing in the Spirit private love songs to God.
I am walking barefoot on the seashore, the waves lapping at my ankles.
I see a sunset. My heart sings even if my lips don't move.
I hold a baby to my chest and kiss her chubby cheeks.
I am painting on a canvas.
I laugh loudly and freely.
I am in a silly and quirky mood.
I wear my favorite perfume.
I listen to jazz or Frank Sinatra.
I twirl around when snow is falling.
I preach with boldness and authority.
I wear high heels.
I smile at a stranger and I know it brightened their day.
I am touched deeply and a tear slips down my face.
I hear my Daddy say he loves me.
I receive red roses. Oh, I love them.
I walk in the cool of the night and smell the fragrances in the air.
I know for certain that I've made a difference in someone's life.
I have a scripture that leaps within me and it's alive. Wow.
I sit at a beautiful place and the lighting is just right.
I am engaged in a warm and stimulating conversation.
I have found another treasure -a good piece of wisdom to hold.
I hear Poppa God whisper "Baby girl" to me.
I am kissed on the forehead.
I know I am glowing from the inside out.
I am complimented about my heart.
I finished a workout at the gym. I did it.
I have my feet up on the dash of a truck listening to country tunes.
I know I am a Daughter of the MOST HIGH. His presence makes me feel so beautiful.
Written By Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012 All rights reserved.
Ruby Wives and A Modern Day Ruth
— with Jenny Williams.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Just a Little Something

I wrote this because it's how I feel. It's not that I don't want to be loved, it's that I do want it...real love.
There are no lies when there is love. When there is only truth, there is trust. You are safe with the one you love. Perfect love casts out all fear. This is what I want. I want that kind of love. ~ By Jenny Williams Ruby Wives Copyright 2013.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

To The One (Dear Daughter)

To the one who woke up and her heart still feels heavy 
-she thought her nightmare would finally turn to sweet dreams.
To the one who has known so many tears 
-she feels her soul is like waterfalls.
To the one who can't believe she is getting back up again after feeling like she has failed once more.
To the one who wishes her Daddy would have held her, hugged her, and told her she was beautiful when she was a little girl.
To the one who never feels like she fits in the crowd, and wonders what is wrong with her.
To the one who feels like she isn't good enough, strong enough, pretty enough.
To the one who just wants to be held and her arms ache for warmth and tender loving care.
To the one who feels betrayed and forgotten and feels no one cares.
To the one who has seen nothing but ashes and broken dreams
and is afraid to even begin to dream again.
To the one who feels misunderstood and judged by others about her circumstances.
To the one who can't see sunshine, rainbows or silver linings because the night has been so long for her.
To the one who feels every step forward is so difficult and a struggle  
-she feels weary from her travels.
To the one who feels lost and can't find her way 
-she doesn't know what to do and where to go.
To the one who has deep wounds that don't seem to heal fast enough.
To the one who has to be the provider, the Momma and the Daddy 
-she just wants to be taken care of too.
To the one who has cried out and prayed and still doesn't see the answers come.
To the one who is so lonely and wants to trust for love again. 
Oh, To be loved.
To the one who wants to trust but is afraid of being hurt again.
To the one who wants attention and affection 
-she wants to be cherished and feel valued.
To the one who wants to end her life because she desperately wants to find relief from all of this
...hold on...don't do it....
To the one who is working so hard, but it just never seems to be enough.
To the one who has experienced enough pain and trauma to last a lifetime 
-she just wants peace and safety again.
To the one who just wants to feel pampered, loved and celebrated.
To the one who just wants to feel beautiful again 
-she feels her tiredness, weariness and scars are all others see.
To the one who feels like it's all her fault 
-she feels so ashamed, dirty, and used.
To the one who needs to hear that she matters and that she is not forgotten.
To the one who is about to give up in believing for better.
To the one who wishes she was someone's favorite 
-she wants to be the special one.
To the one who feels so lowly she doesn't think she can achieve or accomplish anything 
-she just might fail.
To the one who wonders if she is even lovable....
To the one who has been told she would never amount to anything.
To the one who has been abandoned so many times that she's afraid to be left by everyone 
-she's so scared.

Dear One...God sees you. He hears you. He is with you. He is near you. He cries with you. He knows your tears and feels your pain. He loves you for who you are and where you are at. He has a love for you that does not end, despite all the circumstances and mess you feel you are in. He does not condemn you. He does not judge you. He does not forget you. He is your arms to lean on. He is strong enough to carry you and your burdens. He is steady and unmoving. He will not walk out on you. He cares about what you need and desire. He is working out a plan, if you will trust Him and choose His way. He loved you enough to suffer and die for you. He sees you as beautiful. He is proud of you. He is not ashamed of you. He wants better for you. He wants you to rest in Him. He wants to heal your heart and have you give Him all the pieces. He wants to be your everything. He simply loves you, Dear One. He loves you.
~ Written by Jenny Williams A Modern Day Ruth/Ruby Wives  Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Saying Goodbye To Goodbyes

I had to say "Goodbye" to many goodbyes. I had to "un-believe" the many lies spoken over me, and as I took each new step toward tomorrow, I knew I would never be the same. When I looked behind me, at my ash heap of everything I held dear that was gone....It was gone. Because of God's great Mercy, He swept it far away so that I could experience better and brighter days. Though this time has felt so lonely, I have come to understand that He has a better plan. His Grace would not allow me to stay in my misery and pain. He has clothed me in His strength. He has poured my bottle of tears into a sweet fragrance just for me, and now I wear its perfume proudly as a testimony. The Lord is so faithful and so good to me. ~ Jenny Williams, Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. No copy or duplication without the author's permission.  A Modern Day Ruth 
— with Jenny Williams.

Monday, September 30, 2013

He's Making Me Beautiful

Someone told me today that I was beautiful, but I didn't feel like it. My hair was wet and drippy and I had no makeup on. I've been feeling a bit tired and weary from the journey. Maybe they saw something I don't. The truth is, it's a littl...e hard to believe someone when they say that about me. I think it's because men who have told me this- have hurt me and abandoned me. My Daddy didn't give me compliments much when I was growing up. I feel shy when someone gives me a compliment, although now I am gracious and thank them as a lady should. I love to tell others -especially little girls. I never want one to feel lowly or unlovely. I always tell my teenage daughters all the time. I wrote a piece like this a while back, but wrote a new one since I couldn't find it. Maybe I needed the reminder myself. Just because there are areas God is working on, doesn't mean the work in progress isn't beautiful.

I feel beautiful when:

When I'm lost in worship and His presence.
When I smile at a stranger.
When I sing a love song to Poppa God.
When I am twirling in the rain or snow.
When I am smelling roses.
When I know I have made a difference in someone's life.
When I wear dresses and heels. And be my girly girl self.
When I see sunsets and feel gratefulness in my heart.
When I go on walks with Poppa God in the cool of the night.
When I wear my favorite perfume. People say I smell so good.
When I hear ocean waves and smell the salty air.
When I'm lost in a warm conversation that has caught my attention.
When I run through crunchy leaves in the fall.
When I'm proud of my children...Their precious lives makes me beautiful.
When I know I'm glowing from the inside out.
When I listen to a song that my heart relates to.
When a child comes up to me and wraps their little hands around me.
When the wind blows across my face...I take those moments as Poppa God kissing me.
When my heart is tender during a beautiful moment.
Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.  A Modern Day Ruth
— with Jenny Williams.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Dear Ruth

To the "Ruths" who are waiting for a "Boaz" to walk into your life:
  I remember the day my Mama and I went to a powerful church service at Jesus Pursuit Church in Albany. We were both going through some painful and difficult times. My heart had been severely broken by my husband of 13 years who had walked away from God and his family. The air was thick in the sanctuary. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet. The music was going, and I was lost in worship. This place felt safe. In my heart I leaned against Poppa God on a white horse. I call God Poppa. I have always wanted to be a Daddy's girl, but my real Dad couldn't be there for me. In His presence I felt like I was the only one. I spiritually felt bare and naked with my broken heart exposed, but felt so safe and so warm resting in His arms. After the music and message that were given, my Mama wanted me to go up front to the altar area to be prayed for. I felt shy and awkward about it, but at my Mama's request, I did. She's my hero in so many ways. Anything she asks of me I will do. I was prayed for and given a precious and memorable word. I was told by the prayer lady that God wanted me know it wasn't my fault and that Poppa loved me. He called me His favorite, and in that moment, I felt like I truly was. God is so awesome how He does this. We truly are His favorite. Each one of us. After some time, I went and kneeled at the altar and cried out to Him. I heard Him say so clearly- I'm sending you a "Boaz". I pondered what He said. I knew it was His voice. I've never really been interested much about the story of Ruth and Boaz. I went to Sunday School as a child and it was never my favorite story, but since then I have studied the book of Ruth. I've listened and gleaned from it and applied it to areas of my life. Have I bumped into my Boaz yet? No, but I have learned to be busy about my Father's business. Loving others and working in the fields that God has called me to. I have met so many "Ruths and Naomis" along the way of this healing journey. I have spent the last few years gleaning and sharing wisdom of what a godly woman and wife should be like. Sharing my own journey, being transparent with my readers, praying and standing in the gap for marriages. We have helped soothe some broken hearts. Poppa God has been faithful. I see so many strong women who have been hurt and disappointed, but their faith shines like the sun, and I am so privileged and blessed to know them. The story of Ruth is about redemption. Poppa God covers us with His love and redeems us from our painful past. He celebrates us as the Bride of Christ. He provides for us single mamas and is a Husband when we need one. He is also a Father to the fatherless. He is all that we have need of. I've learned to let go of searching for the affections of a man, and to put my broken bleeding heart into the hands of the Almighty. There, I know it will always be protected and safe. I have come so far, and I feel so grateful that I'm no longer broken or dismayed. He has given me purpose -given me a message that burns on my heart to share. Keep trusting God, Keep walking in faith, and do what God has called you to -and when the time is right, your "Boaz" will see you from across the field.  Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Ruby Wives Copyright 2013

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Pink Bow Of Expectation (The Seeds You've Sown)

About a year ago this day, I sowed one of the hardest seeds of my life. God reminded me today of it. I truly believe in sowing seeds into the kingdom of God. There is purpose in trusting Him with your finances and gifts. Being a single mom has been so hard at times, but I heard a powerful message on the TV, and I felt a very strong tug at my heart to sow a sacrificial seed into a particular ministry. I had nothing...really nothing of great value, except my 1.12 ct wedding ring. I kept feeling the Holy Spirit tell me to sow it. I was scared and hesitant. I also thought that maybe this ministry would think I'm nuts to be giving such a strange "seed". I contemplated it and prayed. I wondered if I was crazy. "Are you really asking me to do this? It seems kind of nuts...." I even went to a dear old couple at church and sought counsel with them about it. They prayed over my ring and I wept. Yes, God was asking me to give my only possession that had monetary value. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate as I typed a letter to the person in charge of their ministry. I cried. I understood what Poppa God was doing...This seed...this ring represented my past, my present and most certainly my future. I didn't know if the ministry would or could even use my diamond ring, but I knew in my heart I had to give it over to be sown. My destiny...my harvest...was attached to this unusual seed. The funny thing was that Holy Spirit told me to wrap it carefully with a satin pink bow. I am a girly girl by nature. When I have given gifts, I was always taught that presentation was just as important as the gift itself. So I did. I wrapped that ring with a tiny satin pink ribbon. I was afraid to send it in the mail in fear it would get lost so I had to borrow the money from a friend to send it by registered mail.  My heart pounded as I handed over the envelope to the mail clerk. I kissed that package, laid hands on it, and anointed it with prayer oil. I stood on that word, "You must let go of what's in your hand to receive a harvest." Oh, did I need a harvest...3 things I attached my expectation of faith to that seed. I felt excited and I knew I was being obedient to what God asked of me. I waited...and waited...and waited some more. Months went by and I wondered if the ministry even received it. I called and asked and even cried on the phone in a moment of emotional desperation. The lady on the phone said, "Yes, we have record of it here." She sounded like it was no big deal...I felt a twinge of disappointment but then reasoned with myself that this ministry is huge and they probably receive gifts all the time. I really did want and had hoped that this great man of God would have at least personally acknowledged that he had received it, but it was not so ...and of course the enemy tried to convince me that my seed had no value or that it was not received at all. He wanted me to feel rejected, but I told myself that I gave that gift and sacrificial seed as unto the Lord and not man. I knew the seed I sowed was in fertile soil...good soil. I believed in this ministry and the great work that they were investing in others. So I stood and reminded myself often that there was a pink bow of "EXPECTATION" wrapped around my seed. It times of doubt I have reminded God..."Please remember me.  I believe in the harvest of the seed I sowed into your kingdom." It's been one year today. I know in my heart that my faith and expectation has gotten my Heavenly Father's attention...what we do behind closed doors He sees. I didn't tell anyone about giving my wedding ring away. Not my momma, not my kids (except my grown son who I told to pray and believe with me). Not my ex-husband, not even the friend I borrowed money from to send it. I told no one, because I was so humbled and felt it was so precious to me that I did not want anyone to be critical or put doubt in me. I felt sad at times, because I love diamonds. It was so hard to give it up, but I told myself, "There are more diamonds to be had, Jenny." Today, while I was taking a bath the Holy Spirit.reminded me that in the time of Queen Esther, He woke up the King in the middle of the night and reminded him of the deed that Mordecai did and that he was not rewarded according to the scrolls that the palace records were written on, but the King's attention was brought to what Mordecai had done for him, and he publicly celebrated and honored and promoted him to a better  position for what he had done. God sees our seeds and He knows our tears. Those who sow in tears will REAP songs of JOY. God has not forgotten me...He is the KING of my Heart. And HE has my attention. My HARVEST is COMING. I share this precious and personal story because I know it may encourage some of you Ruths who have been sowing, praying, and standing for something the Lord has promised you. He has not forgotten you. He has seen your sacrifices and offerings. He sees behind your closed doors when you have done something kind for someone else. When you chose to give even when you did not receive child support, or your paycheck was short. You may have felt so misunderstood and lowly. I know that's how I have felt for months, but He loves the heart of a giver and He knows how much you been faithful. He values you and your gift. I believe I receive my harvest...My pink bow of expectation is wrapped around it. I will get my Boaz...my harvest. It's coming. Hold on dear one. Your harvest is coming, too. <3  Written by Jenny Williams copyright 2013
P.S.: This is a photo of the actual ring. I at least have this pic as a memory. God is faithful.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I'm Not Afraid (Dear Boaz)

The Lord has been bringing out beautiful things for me and in me. Today He gave me the most beautiful song...A love song. For my future Boaz. My heart has been very much in preparation for the future husband He has called me to be by his side. I don't just want a husband. I want to be anointed and called to be his wife. I feel called to be next to a leader. To be an example to the church of what a godly wife is supposed to be. To walk in respect and honor. This song came out of me today. So healing and so affirmative that my heart has been healed and prepared for what He has planned for me. Perfect love casts out all fear.

I'm not afraid for God to let you find me.
I'm not afraid of your gaze and your eyes to see me.
I'm not afraid to meet you, to tell you my name.
I'm not afraid to get to know you -all of who you are.
I'm not afraid to be greeted with a "Holy" kiss by your lips.
I'm not afraid to listen to your heart's desires.
I'm not afraid to bring comfort to you.
I'm not afraid to share my heart -the deepest places of it all.
I'm not afraid to share my secrets and dreams and hear yours too.
I'm not afraid to look you in the eyes and let you see my tenderness.
I'm not afraid to let you hold me and caress me.
I'm not afraid to let you fall in love with me.
I'm not afraid to walk with you in places I've never been.
I'm not afraid to show you my weaknesses.
I'm not afraid to sing to you. To discover everything of who I am.
I'm not afraid to let you hold my hand and let you lead.
I'm not afraid to let you cover and protect me -to let you be strong for me.
I'm not afraid to give you a reason to smile -to look for sweet ways to touch you.
I'm not afraid to be a soft place for you to land.
I'm not afraid to daily pray and do battle for you on my knees.
I'm not afraid to laugh with you and play.
I'm not afraid to embrace your family and friends and those whom you love.
I'm not afraid to impact the kingdom of God with you -to pour into and inspire others in Christ.
I'm not afraid to travel and go on adventures with you.
I'm not afraid to worship in spirit and in truth with you.
I'm not afraid to hear you speak into my life -to learn from you and be inspired to grow wise.
I'm not afraid to let you sweetly spoil me and to be your favorite one.
I'm not afraid to accept your weakness and to encourage your strengths.
I'm not afraid to love you for exactly who you are and who God made you to be.
I'm not afraid to share spiritual moments together -to get excited about what God is doing.
I'm not afraid to trust you with whats on or dear to my heart.
I'm not afraid to stand beside you. To build and to dream with you.
I'm not afraid to be your lover and give you my all.
I'm not afraid to give you respect and honor -to stick up for you and to protect your integrity.
I'm not afraid to keep learning and discovering with you.
I'm not afraid to encourage you when you have a bad day.
I'm not afraid to hear you whisper my name.
I'm not afraid to let you dry my tears and soothe my fears.
I'm not afraid to dance with you in the moonlight.
I'm not afraid to invest our blood, sweat and tears for what you believe and aspire to and dream.
I'm not afraid to learn how to be your best friend, your confidante, your safe place to trust.
I'm not afraid to build and achieve crazy dreams with you and to walk in faith for the impossible.
I'm not afraid to be a help mate to you -to find ways to bless you every day. I can't wait.
I'm not afraid to sing my love songs to you and with you -to make music together.
I'm not afraid to pray in my prayer language in front of you and simply be who I am.
I'm not afraid to let you put a ring on my hand for life -to walk by your side.
I'm not afraid to walk down the aisle toward you and say, "I do".
I'm not afraid to be faithful and loyal forever with you.
I'm not afraid.
Written by Jenny Williams,  A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

Sunday, September 22, 2013

The Field


Sometimes I wonder why I must walk this road. Sometimes it feels like this field is never going to be finished being gleaned. I know there's purpose. My faith must continue to remain steadfast, and it must turn it's ear away from these emotionsMy tender heart aches. I trust in my Poppa God, even though I tire of the wait. I can imagine how Ruth felt as she pushed through with determination. She did not know the joy that was set before her. She just believed in the God of Naomi, the one she was faithful and loyal to. No matter how long it takes. May my stretched out trust in the unknown be certain that the Redeemer I love is unfailing. If there is anything I glean from this season, it is His wisdom, redemption, and Grace...Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth. Copyright 2013

Friday, September 20, 2013

In His Chambers

It's been 4 days since I and many other women have started a season of prayer and fasting. I was hesitant at first to announce and commit to 21 days. There's so much more pressure to lead a fast than just participate, but I felt God nudge my heart, and so here I am. I have no regrets because I see women really being touched. The last 4 days have been so wonderful. Besides the struggle of being hungry, everything else has been smooth and easy. I thought I was going to have to pound the doors of heaven, but what I've come to realize, is that He has been waiting for me. He has been seeking me out and lavishing Himself upon me with His love. I feel so blessed, so humbled and so enthralled that He would do this. Thank You, Poppa God. I adore you. For the past couple of days He has been continually saying, "What do you want? What do you desire? Tell me." I know He already knows, but He has me in a place of trusting Him with my heart's desires. For me it's not about telling Him. It's about trusting Him. Being a "Ruth" has not been easy. I have been hurt and abandoned. I have had dreams dashed to the ground and burnt up into ashes. I had to come from a place I knew, to walking a desolate road of tears and sorrows. It's been a long journey, but now I am no longer broken. I am no longer longing for what I lost. It  has been a time of trusting as I have had to move forward -forward toward destiny. He has had me working in a field I didn't know I would be assigned to, gleaning wisdom from my past mistakes and sharing it with others who are hurting too. God has been so good. He has been so faithful.
  Today, as I met with the Holy Spirit in my new Secret Place, He told me to be still and to just let Him love on me. The wind began to blow through the trees and my hair. His sweet kisses on my face. Leaves and acorns were falling down and all around me. He told me that I am to just lay my worries and fears aside outside the door of my King's Chambers....Why? Because in the "Secret Place" He just wants my full attention. His presence and love demands this. He wants to lavish Himself upon me. How beautiful and so surreal is this? That when we come to our lover, we don't talk about stresses of the day or worries. No, we let our lover ravish us. We get lost in that moment of making love to each other, and how much more so should it be with our King. We come before Him and focus our attention on His gaze and His great love for us. I hear Him say, "Come, Daughter. I want to love on you." I think of Queen Esther and that one night with the King. She had to let go of her insecurities and fears and be open to him. This was her chance to make that first impression -to make her time with him count. Oh, that we would make our precious intimate time with our King count. May our hearts impress His with our willingness to be loved and to love on Him back. How lovely. How beautiful... How precious is the Holy Spirit. He wants to lavish Himself on you.

"My beloved spoke and said to me,
    “Arise, my darling,
    my beautiful one, come with me."  Song of Songs 2:10 NIV

Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Single Momma (I just Don't Want To Do It Anymore)

I cried tonight. I didn't want to but tears slipped down my cheeks anyway. It had been a pretty good day. First day of our 21 Days of Fasting and Praying. There was a positive response and many women decided to join. Things felt like they we're headed in the right direction. So why now these tears? I had made the effort to reach out and attempt to attend a Bible study. I bought the book and was so excited to go, but then I couldn't get there. I was so disappointed, and a little hurt too. I sometimes really hate being a single Momma. Life is hard, and sometimes I feel so alienated and alone. Mostly I just feel misunderstood by the other ladies at church. Sometimes I think they just turn their heads because they just don't want to deal with me. That's how it feels anyway. This was one of those moments. I sat in the back of the small woods behind my house and cried. My sweet black kitty named Essie decided to comfort me by rubbing her head on my legs and thigh. She's so loving. I never have to worry about her rejecting me. She simply just loves and knows I belong to her. I sat against a tree and looked up into the acorn trees and told Poppa God that I'm tired of this season of loneliness. I really did enjoy being a wife of 13 years. I loved having someone to share life moments with. It's been nearly 4 years since our lives were turned upside down. It's been a long journey of broken dreams, dating, more disappointments, tears, prayers, another heartache, a ministry born, new dreams launched, a broken heart healed and a strength I never knew I had...<3 One thing I do long for is companionship. Being a single momma has been lonely. I have Poppa God, I have my ministry, I have my amazing kids, but church life has been lonely. The married women treat me differently, like they don't trust me or something. I would never in a million years try to take from them that which I lost. I would never want any soul to go through the thousands of tears I have shed and the sleepless nights I endured. The beautiful thing about Poppa God is that I can be brutally honest about how I am feeling. Tonight my heart hurts. I know I will be okay and this moment will pass, but it's just a reality check that lets me know I don't want to be alone anymore. At the end of the day I just want to snuggle up and share the gratefulness of the day I just had with someone...I just don't want to be a "Ruth" anymore...Poppa God, Please help me tonight.
Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2013

Friday, September 13, 2013

Transparency In Christ Marriage Radio Broadcast Show

I had the beautiful privilege of ministering to brides on a live marriage radio talk show today. The Lord was so present with us ladies as we shared. If you are struggling in your marriage, walking thru divorce or separation or have even found yourself walking the role of a "Ruth"....If you have been discouraged this message is for you ! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/transparency-in-christ/2013/09/13/transparency-in-christ-marriage-gods-way

Monday, September 9, 2013

Wisdom I Have Gleaned As A Ruth

Wisdom I have gleaned from being a "Ruth":

-This season came because God is preparing me for greatness.

-Embracing the process of letting God transform my heart and my thinking is vital.

-There is purpose even in the midst of pain and suffering.

-Faithfulness and loyalty are my friends. I must cling to the faith that I know and trust my Heavenly Father.

-As I walk the road of the unknown, there are treasures to discover: His wisdom. His blessings. His truth. I must look for them.

-This season is temporary, but the reward is eternal.

-I must keep my eyes and focus on the Lord and not man. Man has disappointed me but God never has.

-I must be truthful with myself and analyze and acknowledge my foolish mistakes, then glean the wisdom from them.

-I broke the cycle of settling for less than God's best. I've set my standards high. I desire a king not a pauper.

-He is making and moulding my heart to be of a Queen for the King He is preparing for me.

-My assignment is to help encourage and comfort others while I'm in the field. He heals me as I help heal others. My tears are not in vain.

-He is giving me strength from Glory to Glory. Every moment He is with me.

-Faithfulness is mandatory. He expects my best.

-He is making me beautiful in this process. He is taking these ashes and turning them into something beautiful for a display of the splendor of the Lord. There is beauty out of my brokenness.

-He is the provider for me and my children. He is a husband to me and a Father to my children. Though man has forsaken me- GOD DOES NOT.

-The Holy Spirit is the lover of my soul. He is my song's delight. My worship time is precious...I am His and He is mine. His banner over me is LOVE. No one can take away my love song except me- when I do not open my mouth.

-God has promised me a "Boaz" but my focus is not on trying to find him. He will one day notice me from across the field. I focus on my assignment. I focus on my growth and refinement. I focus on His heart's desire. Love will come when it's time.

-The character traits of Ruth are: Loyalty, faithfulness, a servant's heart, a woman of courage and strength. She was compassionate and helped others. I desire and strive to have these qualities.

-Some days are so difficult. Life is hard. There are many tears. I live moment to moment with Him, leaning on Him to carry me through this season.

-How I handle this season will determine how long it will be and the outcome of it. My destiny is linked to my responses and willingness to yield to God's perfect plan. My legacy is attached to this season.

-I recognize that I can't do this alone. He is my strength and my portion.

-I sow into others encouragement, words of healing, and comfort. My love and compassion for others keeps me going. My dreams are connected with their dreams. I live to encourage others in their destinies. When I focus on comforting others, I myself am comforted.

-Those who sow in tears....will reap songs of Joy.

Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives  Copyright 2013