Friday, November 29, 2013

Tender Places

When you lose someone you love, the holidays can be bittersweet. I usually smile -and then smile some more. I plow through. The most important thing for me is the happiness of my kids. They don't know how hard it is -and honestly, I hope they never experience this from my viewpoint. My youngest, who is 12, kept hugging me all day. She clung to me. I think somehow she knew how I was feeling, but no words were exchanged about it. She is a sweetheart -a tender heart...
I awoke this morning feeling tenderhearted. I wish there was a button for that -one that could turn off my heart, so I would no longer feel. It was strange, that last night before drifting off to sleep. I missed him just a little bit, but I reminded myself to not go there, because missing someone who has chosen not to be in your life does no good. It won't bring him back, and it won't change things. I remind myself that it was not him that I missed, but the idea of what I thought was real: to be loved by someone. I so badly wanted to be held last night and be told that everything was going to be alright, to feel a hand brush my cheek and wipe my tears. I know that my heart has been through a lot....and it's been healing these past four years. I think my heart must be like an elephant, because it seems to have a long memory. I don't want to be tender today. I just don't want to be reminded of the pain I once knew, but I know others hurt so much worse, and I will never forget for their sake. The brokenhearted need someone to care. They need a hug. They need assurance. May I never forget that, even when my life is filled with the love of someone again. Tender places are a painting of the human's emotions, captured in time.
Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

I Don't

I Don't:

I don't date bad boys because they just bring bad into my life.

I don't do drama or associate with people who love it. I focus on positives, not negatives.

I don't do gossip. I can't stand it -and if you do it in my presence, I will not endorse it, and I certainly won't trust you. 
I don't do liars. If you are deceptive, I most likely won't give you a second glance. Be truthful always with me. 

I don't take back a man who cheats on me. I used to, but I got off that merry-go-round. It's not a fun ride.

I don't do providing for a man. I'm not meant to bring home the bacon and cook it for you. I don't date guys who refuse to work.

I don't do stalkers. If you text 25 times in a day just because I haven't answered back, you need serious help.
I don't do cray cray (Crazy). A man must have a sound mind.

I don't do missionary dating. I won't be unequally yoked. You must already be saved. I'm not your savior.

I don't go out with a man who does not treat me like a lady. I won't teach you how to be a gentleman, you should already know how.

I don't take on the task of changing a man. Your Momma had that job. She raised you.

I don't take abuse from a man -not even a lifted hand in a moment of anger. One time and I'm out the door forever.

I don't date men who have addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or pornography. I won't judge you if you have had these addictions, but you have to be completely delivered and redeemed from them. I don't date chains of bondage.

I don't allow a man to defile me, dishonor me or sexually assault me. I am a Bride of Christ and I expect a man to treat me as such. 

I don't do men who live like paupers...(I'm not talking finances). I mean that you don't walk in the fullness and authority of Jesus Christ as joint heirs...You must be a son of the most High God...Walk and live as an ambassador of the King of Kings. I have a queen's heart and I want a man who treats me like one.

I don't do men who harm children or animals, or who are unkind to people who serve. How do you treat your waiter at a restaurant? This shows your true colors.

I don't respect men who can't respect and honor authority: parents, pastors, leaders, bosses, etc.

I don't do men who can't love my kids. They are my precious cargo. We are blessings not burdens.

I don't invest my heart into yours if you don't treat me as a valuable treasure.

I don't build dreams with a man who has no dream, no goal, no vision....I can't follow you otherwise.

I don't do men who are prideful and arrogant, because you will fall -a lot. A humble man is a good man.

I don't do men who are not sold out to God. You should be living a life surrendered to Christ every day. You read the Bible, Pray with me and for me...You attend church regularly and you pay tithes and offerings. You honor your parents so it goes well with you all your days.
Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.  A Modern Day Ruth

Monday, November 11, 2013

I'll Go Wherever You will Go

I think this road of embracing being a "Ruth" is going to lead me to the greatest love I have ever experienced and truly wanted. More importantly, the closeness of Poppa God wrapping my heart and drawing me nearer to Him has been so surreal ...and so precious. When your heart has been sick from being broken, you tend to appreciate every facet and every act of love -you just don't take it for granted. I think of my future Boaz I have not yet met, and what his heart has or may have been through...Always praying and pondering. ~ Jenny Williams A Modern Day Ruth 
My heart sings every lyric of this song: 

Saturday, November 9, 2013

The Incense

The incense...the perfume that was poured out upon His feet...the fragrance that filled the room was the evidence of a broken vessel. It was costly in more ways that one. Don't think that the humbled tears you have cried were for no purpose. There is beauty that comes from brokenness. The sweetness of His Grace touches lives around us. Our story becomes intoxicating, and our shared message of redemption lingers in the air. To God be the Glory. ~ Jenny Williams
A Modern Day Ruth

Friday, November 1, 2013

I wanna Be Real

I woke up with the song "I Want To Be Real" by Chris August on my mind. Music is always my heartbeat. I think that sometimes I think in lyrics. I am always singing a song around the house when I'm alone. Worship time is my favorite time. Music flows through my veins like blood. I like this song because I can so relate to the words. I just want to feel safe -safe to be me and not be afraid of being left or deserted. I just want to be me -all the time. I don't want to have the guard up...the walls up. Some days I just want to collapse in someone's arms and just be told everything is going to be alright...that I don't have to be strong anymore...that I can let go and rest...that they are not going to walk away or break my heart. I just want to be real. ~ Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013.

I want To Be Real by Chris August