Wednesday, June 25, 2014

She Smiles Anyway

She wakes up every morning
Praying for strength for another day
She grabs some coffee and pours some hazelnut creamer
and  swallows a "sigh"
And she smiles anyway.

She starts to sing another hallelujah song
In her kitchen her lullabies become her prayers
She opens the window just to catch a summer breeze
She's hoping and praying
He hears her singing.
And she smiles anyway.

She's the one giving encouragement
and showing others she cares
but deep inside she's needing it too
She wishes she had another hand
to help with burdens she bears.
But she smiles anyway.

She sometimes goes without meals
so her three girls can eat
She's hungry often
She dreams of chocolate and juicy meat.
but she smiles anyway.

She hears a country song on the radio
She sees couples smiling and laughing
She thinks to herself-
"I'm so tired...I've been alone for too long."
She doesn't want to be the man anymore
She doesn't want to have to be so strong.

She smiles anyway...
and hopes for brighter days.
She lights scented candles
and hugs her kitty real tight
she snuggles with her baby girls
and kisses them goodnight

The house is eerily silent, she's up real late
She's tired of the fight
she's crying out for a mate
her arms are aching to be held.
She reminds Him of His promise
Where is he? The Boaz she will meet?

She silently prays in the wee hours of the night
her pillow is soaked by the numerous tears she's cried
But she smiles anyway...
It's what's holding her together and keeping her hanging on.

"Momma, I need money for the high school dance"
"I need braces and I accidentally broke my glasses again.
My shoes don't fit
I'm hungry, Momma
She hears them
and she just smiles again.

She gets down on her knees
the bill is weighing heavy, she cries
She clenches her bottle of oil
and prays silently
"You gotta help me, Lord tonight."
She barely can, but she smiles anyway.

She goes to church in her Sunday best
She sits alone and bravely she's smiling again.
She sees a wife rub her husband's back
She thinks to herself, "I wish I could do that again."
The sermon is good and she holds on to every word.
People smile and greet her and she doesn't say much
because she knows they expect her to say, "I'm fine."

She sees families and babies running around
She hears laughter and chatter
And she feels like her emotions are trying to make
her drown.
And she smiles anyway...
'cause she doesn't want them to see her cry.
It was so long ago that he left...
I know they expect her to move on.

She walks out of her church
and looks up into the bright blue sky
Oh how she wishes things were different
She wishes she could float away like a cloud from her life.

So she closes her eyes...
dreams...and smiles anyway..
because maybe one time her smile
will make it all go away..

~ Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth,  Copyright 2014

Saturday, June 21, 2014

She Was Free

She realized her heart would not be healed until she let go completely what she held so tight to. It felt so unnatural to let go of the man she loved so much. But she realized he did not love her and he was long gone. She was grabbing mere shadows of memories. There was nothing left but to trust God. That He had a different plan...a better one. God never restores less than better than before- this... I know. She could not imagine her life or heart loving any other. But loving memories wasn't going to sustain her or even love her back. She knew it was time to let go. Let go of the once sweet moments that made her feel so good....she had to let go hoping to be back in those few moments. A voice kept whispering to her heart...."Love is in front of you...never behind you." She fell to her knees and wept. And once and for all let go. She knew that once she got up off her floor there was no more trying to love the dead. There was no more looking over her shoulder to yesterdays...She was free. She put one foot in front of the other and finally began to trust God. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014 ~ A Modern Day Ruth

Friday, June 20, 2014

Kari Jobe - The More I Seek You w/lyrics

  This is my favorite worship song...Moments when I was in great despair and pain...His love kept me safe under His wings. I lost what I thought was love but in my complete brokenness I rediscovered it...The Holy Spirit is the greatest comforter and lover of my soul.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

A Prayer for All Ruths

Tonight, I pray for Ruth's to find their Boazes. For those who have lost love, who grieved, who healed, who bravely walked and moved forward, for those who have endured with their faith and gleaned the wisdom from the painful season, for those who have let go of their losses, faced their fears, and been honest with their mistakes, for those who have rejected the lies that they're not lovable, for those choosing to believe in love even though they have been disappointed or even been betrayed. I pray for you to find a love so true, so dear, so lavish, and so faithful...for love that is sweet and tender, but so safe and so holy. So divinely inspired and given from God. I pray you are celebrated, embraced, held and cherished... that you are given the greatest blessing of having a life partner to share and grow and build and dream with -someone to love you in your weakest and strongest moments and everything in between. I pray your days of the past are redeemed; the sting of the pain being completely gone, just like a woman who has endured great pain and suffering in labor and given birth to her child that she has now instantly fallen so deeply in love with. Her pain is forgotten. I pray this happens for you and for me. I pray the men who have waited so long for their sweet Ruth will no longer be lonely nor disappointed. That his arms never are empty. His life he's worked so hard to build will feel complete with her by his side. I pray this tonight. ~ A Modern Day Ruth, Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014

Wisdom I learned as a "Ruth"

If you are trying so hard to get his attention...He's not the one. Boaz noticed her without her even trying.

There's wisdom during this season that you should discover and treasure. God brings His best treasures during your greatest adversities.

The faster you learn... the easier it is to work the field you are in.

Humility seems to be a character trait a Ruth must acquire. It's hard and I'm learning this. My circumstances are humble. No way to hide that but continue pressing on.

If he's noticed you, he will let you know. Boaz summoned his workers to find out about her.  He spoke to her and offered her a place at his table.

We feel lonely, but we are not alone. Notice the other women working in the field? They are in your same situation... just different details.

A Boaz requires higher standards than common men do. I must be an uncommon woman if I am going qualify to be somebody's Ruth.

Giving to others and encouraging others helps lessen my pain. Ruth was known in her community as a good woman who was unselfish. I hope that is how people see me.

I have to step into unfamiliar fields. I have to speak to people I don't know. I have to be brave. It's scary sometimes.

If your Boaz shows true interest, be brave enough to reach back.
I hope I can do this. I am sometimes shy. Also, it feels risky to possibly be rejected. But if Ruth didn't reach for Boaz, her story wouldn't have changed and we wouldn't have known about her legacy.

Some days seem really hard. I have to refocus when my pain is fogging up my hope or vision. Take a bubble bath, play some music, eat a piece of chocolate, spend alone time with Poppa God.

Appreciate the little things and the beauty in each moment or you will completely lose any joy you do have.
Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

A Ruth's Song

A song I wrote while taking a bath. It's my simple prayer and song for my future Boaz.
I want to wake up hearing him singing praises to You.
I want to know he's in his secret place honoring You.

I want a man who loves me like You do.

I want to grow with him....
I want to sow with him.
I want to sing with him.
I want to pray with him.
I want to worship with him.
I want to give with him.

And when I lay my head down on his chest at night- I hear him praying to you. He's my favorite good night. His love for you, Holy Spirit inspires me to draw closer to You.

I want to serve with him.
I want to dream with him.
I want to play with him.
I want to learn with him.
I want to build with him.
I want to love with him.

Wherever he goes I will follow ...because I know he follows after You.
I want a man who loves me like You do.

This is my humbled prayer and spontaneous song I sang today while taking a bath. I normally don't write all my songs down...But I want to remember this one because maybe I'll sing it some day on my wedding day. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014 ~ A Modern Day Ruth

— with Jenny Williams.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

How do you know when you are ready to receive a Boaz into your heart and life?

A heart, mind, soul, and body must be ready. You have been walking through heartache, loss, abandonment and hardships. It's not been an easy season, but the good news is that God does not leave us in it; He walks us through to the other side when we trust Him and obey Him. Here are a few signs that you may be ready to be in a relationship again:

-You have a painful past, but it no longer keeps you there. You have been able to heal from it. You have been able to forgive those who have hurt you or abandoned you. The past is a painful memory but the sting of it doesn't keep you consumed by it.

-You have been able to stop looking over your shoulder trying to get back what you lost. You have been taking healthy steps to move forward in Christ. You no longer dwell in your former situation or homeland. Ruth left the land of Moab. She was courageous to go with Naomi to a new land she did not know.

-You have gone through a season of healthy grief. You have mourned what you lost. You have let God gently heal the layers and places of your heart. You have trusted God and allowed Him to help you let go of what you lost. You never forget, but you no longer let it be your constant thought day and night. Your tears have begun to cease. You have a few moments once in a while, but you have been able to feel joy again. You desire to live and be a part of life activities again. A lengthy time is recommended. Grief takes time. It's not an overnight thing. Remember, shedding tears does not mean you are going backward; it's part of the process. Don't feel bad if you are still shedding tears over the loss of your spouse.

-You have gleaned the wisdom from the mistakes you have made from your last relationship. Everyone has something they could have done differently in their broken or lost relationship. You are now healthy-minded when it comes to relationships. You have been completely honest with yourself and God about your past mistakes. You have learned and applied the wisdom so that you won't repeat the mistakes again. You have broken the cycle. Only a fool does the same thing but expects different results. Something has to change. Being completely honest with yourself and learning as much as you can is a healthy approach.

-You have leaned closer to the Lord and have a stronger and more intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. You have allowed God to be your strength and peace during this difficult season. He is the Lover of your soul. You have realized that your spiritual well is not filled by a man but by spending time in His presence. A man can't satisfy your spirit. Only God can. Your relationship with God is front and center. Everything you do you strive to honor and please God. Your satisfaction comes from Him. A difficult season should always draw you closer to God- not further away.

-You have used the pain and heartache you have experienced and gone through to help others. Ruth reached out to Naomi and blessed her and helped her. You are now seeing the beauty and strength from the ashes in your life. You are now able to comfort and help others who are walking the road of a Ruth. God's greatest comfort and healing flows through open and broken vessels. The wounded know how to help the wounded. Your scars are now a blessing. Your story is a testimony of God's faithfulness and goodness in your life.

-You have allowed this difficult and painful season to make your heart more beautiful. Your character reveals His character. Ruth was known by her generosity, loyalty and faithfulness. Her character was known how she took care of her Mother-in-law and how she worked hard to bless her and honor Naomi. Your fragrance is sweet by His Holy Spirit. Your pain did NOT make you bitter....But it did make you BETTER.  For His glory and purpose.

-You no longer have a desire to be back with the person you loved and lost. You have been able to completely let go and surrender to God's perfect will and plan. You no longer have the struggle of a tug-of-war. You have set them free and not held on to unforgiveness or bitterness. You are able to pray for God's best in their life. You trust in God's plan. You genuinely want the best for the person who once hurt you and abandoned you.

-You know your worth as a daughter of the Most High. You broke the cycle of accepting less than God's best for you. You realize that your standards are higher and that you can be patient until God brings the man who is appointed by God to be a kinsman redeemer. Ruth followed God's will when she received her covering. She followed Naomi's instructions and guidance. She followed the protocol. She obeyed Boaz's instructions. You are ready when you are able to submit to God's instructions and guidelines concerning a relationship. You understand that you deserve a godly man.

You have and are continually praying for your future Boaz. You pray he is blessed in his walk with the Lord, and if he's lonely that God will comfort him and give him peace. You are asking God to prepare your heart and life for your Boaz, and that you are being led to the field he is in. Ruth was led to the field where Boaz was. Pray your life is in position for meeting your future spouse. Pray that your coming and goings are blessed and led by His Holy Spirit.

How do you know if he is your Boaz?

A Modern Day Boaz will:

-He will honor you and respect you. He will handle your heart tenderly. His intentions will be honorable.
-He will provide and care for you with his actions. He looks out for the best for you.
-He will protect you and spiritually lead you and be a covering to  you. He will pray with you and for you. He will take you to church. He will read the word with you.
-He will understand your journey and desire to make your days better and sweeter than before.
-He will celebrate you and appreciate your strengths, beauty and character.
-He will preserve you. He will honorably do right by you by waiting until marriage. He sees you as a treasure and a blessing from God.
-He will love you by demonstrating the character of Christ to you through his words and actions.
-He will always try to be a blessing to you and your children every day of his life. He will embrace you and your kids with open arms.

You won't settle for less than the best. You won't have to try to make a man treat you this way, because he already will. You don't raise a man into being a man, he already is one. God's best for you won't need fixing. Second best and settling....will need it. Don't go there. You are completely open to God's submission by letting Him write your love story. Listen to His voice, and trust in His perfect plan.

You know you are ready when you are not afraid to love and trust someone. You desire companionship and sharing a life again. You desire to be a blessing to the man God has waiting for you. Your heart is open to trust and to receive love again. You are healthy in your mind, heart and soul. You desire to be a helpmate.

How do you know you are his Ruth?

-You want to be a blessing to him every day of his life. You strive and look for ways to bless him.
-You desire to be his greatest cheerleader and prayer partner.
-You are his faithful confidante. He can trust you.
-You want to honor him and respect him as a man of God and as your spiritual leader.
-You celebrate his strengths and you accept his weaknesses.
-You bring a strength he can rely on. You are loyal to him only.
-You are his best friend and want to be his lifelong lover.
-You are willing to be a good receiver of his love and acts of kindness.
-You appreciate and value what he does for you.
-You believe in his dreams and callings. You want to support him and build a life with him. His desires are yours, and his dreams are yours.
-You honor him both publicly and privately.
-You desire to please him.
-You strive to do him good all the days of your life.
-You are anointed and appointed to be his wife.

Ruth and Boaz is my favorite love story. God gives second chances. He always restores better than before. Your heartache and loss are being turned around so your greatest love story can unfold. God gave Ruth better than before, and her legacy of love continued through the lineage of Jesus and beyond!  <3 Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2014