Thursday, February 20, 2014

So Tired

There are days when I feel stretched beyond what I want to be. My struggles have been miles too long, and hard to smile through. I don't want your sympathy, but maybe just a little bit of understanding. 

I feel tired of this journey -of being strong, of making sure to not lose it, but maybe that's just what I need to do -to let it out. A sob has been knocking on my throat. It's been wanting to escape for quite some time. I know Poppa God has been revealing Himself through these difficult and trustworthy days. My mind wants to wander and dream of brighter days. If I could just flutter away to some place pleasant and carefree, like a butterfly landing a sweet fragrant rose. 

Strength is never gained without pushing past one's normal point of trying. Muscles are toned by going one push further than your "possible" is my growing faith. It's going past what I can see or feel in the natural. I know I'll be alright, but in this tiring moment, I just want to exhale away all my pain, fatigue, and the need to carry the cares of my sweet kids and me. 

I don't want to be the man anymore. I want to be taken care of, and I just want to be held.
No words need be spoken -just a warm embrace that won't judge or ask anything of me. 

Oh, that someone will see me out of my beautiful mess ...with acceptance and complete assurance, "I'm not leaving you, ever. I'm not going to hurt you or desert you." Maybe a gentle, smiling eye that reads, "I see your journey, your strength, and your pain...and I find you even more beautiful because of it." ~ A Modern Day Ruth, Jenny Williams Copyright 2014


  1. I relate to this topic so much... well with all of them, but this one hits hard because this is exactly how I feel at times. I'm grateful for your blog. Blessings!

  2. Thank you, Ruth ! Much love and prayers...

  3. Today this is so me! Tears just came rushing from my eyes and I did not even want to stop them any more... so tired off always trying to put the hurt, the longing, the yearning away...

    I get you dearest! Today is such a day for me! Thank you for sharing xxx

  4. I so relate to this. And yes, thank you so much for your blogs. They are so uplifting at the exact moments that my heart needs a little push or little hug. God bless all of you ladies, all of my sisters in Christ.

  5. the words out of my mouth! Really, I wrote about similar things this morning, knocking back that lump in my own throat. Tired of the trying, tired of forever trying to summon up hope...but i know we need to, strengthening those muscles indeed. Good to know we are not alone even in this