As I am walking the road of living as A Modern Day Ruth I have learned to not just twiddle my thumbs and waste away waiting for my promised Boaz. I have embraced the process of gleaning wisdom and allowing Poppa God to heal my heart. He has been leading me to grow deeper in my faith and to go to higher places. I am not here just to get a man and to be loved. There is purpose and meaning to this season of my life. I walked through two years of being honest with myself and acknowledging the areas I could do better or needed real change. My self esteem was one of them. I never had the earthly Daddy I desired -one who would love me and have a relationship with me. I would have been a great Daddy's girl. My heart still aches from not ever having that, but I now know my worth and value are not based on this. I finally came to a place where I didn't have to have a date on a Friday night. I don't need a boyfriend to feel special or loved. I'm okay. This was huge for me to get to this point in the process. All the men in my life have disappointed and hurt me. I finally looked in the mirror and realized that I had to break the cycle of settling for less than what I deserved and needed as a daughter of God. No more men that beat me, abandon me, who don't provide for me, etc. I'm better than all that. I may be waiting for a Boaz who is wanting a Ruth. I had to ask God, "What do I need to do to prepare for him to come into my life?" Ruth in the Bible walked a long road of tears, pain and overcoming obstacles. She was faithful to her mother-in-law and to the Lord whom she embraced. She worked in the field she was assigned to...she gleaned. She worked in the hot sun to provide food for Naomi and herself. She was moving forward in life. She could have given up and gone back to what was easier and more familiar to her, but she didn't. This is how one of the greatest love stories ever known unfolded...she met her Boaz on the other side of that field. Suddenly her life of sorrows changed to life of joy and happiness. God gave her better than she had before. Her destiny came to pass. I know the special man that comes into my life will respect and appreciate the journey I have been on. He will see my strength and my faithfulness to God in the midst of great adversity. He will celebrate me with love and cover me. He will want to help make my days be brighter and wipe away those tears of heartache and frustration. God has someone for you. Just be patient and embrace the process. Don't forget: God restores what was lost. It may not be the way you are expecting, but it will always be better than before. Hang on, Beloved. Your sudden Boaz will come. Be ready for love again. Be ready to all that you can be to bless someone else. Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2014
Get up out of your ash heap
Rise up and dust yourself off
You have mourned enough over what you lost
You have become too comfortable
sitting in your misery and tears.
I hear the sound of heaven
The sounds of laughter and rejoicing
being sung out over you.
I smell the perfume of Heaven
being poured out over you
The anointing oil clinging to you
There was a time when Job
finally got up out of his ashes
and so must you
have the will to see better days
and the promise of His restoring
Let the rains of heaven wash
away the ashen smudges
of your yesterdays
No more looking at yourself
in your burnt up ruins and dreams
I hear the sound of singing and laughing
It's time to rejoice in Him
For He was faithful-
He did not let you die
He did not let you be destroyed
and you became stronger within.
He's singing His love song over you
Smell His fragrance dripping all over you
Clap and sing
HIS beauty is being revealed
It's a new day for you -brand new!!!!
To saying goodbye to everything and everyone who had broken her heart.
To forgiveness and not letting bitterness ruin her.
To not looking over her shoulder at memory lane, to not trying to bang down a door that's been purposefully shut, and to not wasting away her life waiting for someone to come back and love her.
To becoming wise, learning from her bad choices and mistakes.
To not letting men use her, abuse her, cheat on her, or treat her with less respect and care than what she deserves.
To letting go of fears and embracing "I can's".
To being herself and loving her smile, her heart, her spirit and her body -to knowing she's loveable.
To trusting God in all areas of her life.
To having huge and crazy dreams and not letting anyone talk her out of them.
To loving herself, taking care of her body, her mind, and soul.
To not letting the ashes, burnt up dreams, heartaches and disappointments destroy her or keep her from her God given destiny.
To smiling, laughing, being silly, having fun, being creative and letting each moment count.
To letting him know she can live without him, that her worth never is based on his perception of who she is.
To kissing that fool goodbye for the last time.
To being lovely, sparkly, shiny and vibrant.
To taking her tears and making them useful. She writes, she sings, she creates, and she wipes the tears of others, reminding them that God can heal their hearts too.
To allowing herself to be available to romantic love again but with higher standards. She's a daughter of God, after all.
To walking out and living in her God given purpose and destiny. To be being a Queen for such a time as this. Yes, she can do it.
To wearing the pretty shoes and walking in authority, stomping and crushing the enemies lies beneath her feet!
To dancing and going to high places.
To hanging out with winners, believers, overcomers and achievers; accepting healthy and inspiring people in her life, saying no to people who suck the joy and life out of what God has created to be beautiful and honor Him.
To growing, glowing, giving, sharing, and loving.
To expecting the good and beautiful and expecting blessing and favor to be in her life.
Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013 A Modern Day Ruth
The incense...the perfume that was poured out upon His feet...the fragrance that filled the room was the evidence of a broken vessel. It was costly in more ways that one. Don't think that the humbled tears you have cried were for no purpose. There is beauty that comes from brokenness. The sweetness of His Grace touches lives around us. Our story becomes intoxicating, and our shared message of redemption lingers in the air. To God be the Glory. ~ Jenny Williams A Modern Day Ruth
I love what I do. I love and value our readers as family members. You are my sisters and brothers. God gave me a passion to help heal and empower women by sharing the wisdom I learned from my own personal mistakes. Through my own journey of overcoming abandonment and heartaches, and to remind them of what their value is as daughters of the Most High God. You are worth more than all the diamonds and rubies in the entire world...Don't ever doubt it. That even with brokenness and ashes, your story does not end. Your life is not over, but just begun. You have a future and a hope! You have a destiny still to fulfill. God's love for you does not waiver one bit. His love is everlasting and His beautiful Grace is sufficient for you. Don't ever let the enemy convince you that because someone doesn't love you or that you aren't lovable anymore. That's a lie. That person just did not see or appreciate the value of who you truly are, but someday someone will. Hold onto God's promises- they are for you. <3 Love, Jenny~ A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2013.
To the "Ruths" who are waiting for a "Boaz" to walk into your life:
I remember the day my Mama and I went to a powerful church service at Jesus Pursuit Church in Albany. We we're both going through some painful and difficult times. My heart had been severely broken by my husband of 13 years who walked away from God and his family. The air was thick in the sanctuary. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet. The music was going, and I was lost in worship. This place felt safe. In my heart I leaned against Poppa God on a white horse. I call God Poppa. I have always wanted to be a Daddy's girl, but my real Dad couldn't be there for me. In His presence I felt like I was the only one. I spiritually felt bare and naked with my broken heart exposed, but felt so safe and so warm resting in His arms. After the music and message that were given, my Mama wanted me to go up front to the altar area to be prayed for. I felt shy and awkward about it, but at my Mama's request, I did. She's my hero in so many ways. Anything she asks of me I will do. I was prayed for and given a precious and memorable word. I was told by the prayer lady that God wanted me know it wasn't my fault and that Poppa loved me. He called me His favorite. And at that moment I felt like I truly was. God is so awesome how He does this. We truly are His favorite. Each one of us. After some time I went and kneeled at the altar and cried out to Him. I heard Him say so clearly- I'm sending you a "Boaz". I pondered what He said. I knew it was His voice. I've never really been interested much about the story of Ruth and Boaz. I went to Sunday School as a child and it was never my favorite story, but since then I have studied the book of Ruth. I've listened and gleaned from it and applied it to areas of my life. Have I bumped into my Boaz, Yet? No, but I have learned to be busy about my Father's business. Loving others and working in the fields that God has called me to. I have met so many "Ruths and Naomies" along the way of this healing journey. I have spent the last few years gleaning and sharing wisdom of what a godly woman and wife should be like. Sharing my own journey, being transparent with my readers, praying and standing in the gap for marriages. We have helped soothe some broken hearts. Poppa God has been faithful. I see so many strong women who have been hurt and disappointed; but their faith shines like the sun and I am so privileged and blessed to know them. The story of Ruth is about redemption. Poppa God covers us with His love and redeems us from our painful past. He celebrates us as the Bride of Christ. He provides for us single mamas and is a Husband when we need one. He is also a Father to the fatherless. He is all that we have need of. I've learned to let go of searching for the affections of a man, and to put my broken bleeding heart into the hands of the Almighty. There, I know it will always be protected and safe. I have come so far, and I feel so grateful that I'm no longer broken or dismayed. He has given me purpose -given me a message that burns on my heart to share. Keep trusting God, Keep walking in faith, and do what God has called you to -and when the time is right, your "Boaz" will see you from across the field. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/A Modern Day Ruth. Copyright 2013.
I had to say "Goodbye" to many goodbyes. I had to "un-believe" the many lies spoken over me, and as I took each new step toward tomorrow, I knew I would never be the same. When I looked behind me, at my ash heap of everything I held dear that was gone....It was gone. Because of God's great Mercy, He swept it far away so that I could experience better and brighter days. Though this time has felt so lonely, I have come to understand that He has a better plan. His Grace would not allow me to stay in my misery and pain. He has clothed me in His strength. He has poured my bottle of tears into a sweet fragrance just for me, and now I wear its perfume proudly as a testimony. The Lord is so faithful and so good to me. ~ Jenny Williams, Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. No copy or duplication without the author's permission. A Modern Day Ruth
Someone told me today that I was beautiful, but I didn't feel like it. My hair was wet and drippy and I had no makeup on. I've been feeling a bit tired and weary from the journey. Maybe they saw something I don't. The truth is, it's a littl...e hard to believe someone when they say that about me. I think it's because men who have told me this- have hurt me and abandoned me. My Daddy didn't give me compliments much when I was growing up. I feel shy when someone gives me a compliment, although now I am gracious and thank them as a lady should. I love to tell others -especially little girls. I never want one to feel lowly or unlovely. I always tell my teenage daughters all the time. I wrote a piece like this a while back, but wrote a new one since I couldn't find it. Maybe I needed the reminder myself. Just because there are areas God is working on, doesn't mean the work in progress isn't beautiful.
I feel beautiful when:
When I'm lost in worship and His presence. When I smile at a stranger. When I sing a love song to Poppa God. When I am twirling in the rain or snow. When I am smelling roses. When I know I have made a difference in someone's life. When I wear dresses and heels. And be my girly girl self. When I see sunsets and feel gratefulness in my heart. When I go on walks with Poppa God in the cool of the night. When I wear my favorite perfume. People say I smell so good. When I hear ocean waves and smell the salty air. When I'm lost in a warm conversation that has caught my attention. When I run through crunchy leaves in the fall. When I'm proud of my children...Their precious lives makes me beautiful. When I know I'm glowing from the inside out. When I listen to a song that my heart relates to. When a child comes up to me and wraps their little hands around me. When the wind blows across my face...I take those moments as Poppa God kissing me. When my heart is tender during a beautiful moment. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2013 All rights reserved. A Modern Day Ruth
During this time of walking in the shoes of a "Ruth" I have felt so compelled by the Lord to embrace the refinement and requirement of excellence. I have always usually tried to do and be my best at everything I do, but now it's at another level. As I study the story of Ruth and ponder about her, I notice one very distinct thing: her heart and character. She was excellent in who she was. She was loyal and faithful. She was diligent. She did not let her sorrows ruin her. She did not let her past stop her from moving forward. Her love for Naomi and her simple trust in the God of her mother-in-law was so brave. Instead of seeking her own comfort, she comforted others. What a beautiful heart she had. Women in the Bible fascinate me. They inspire me. When I was a little girl I dreamed and admired the character of Esther, so much so that I chose to have my Momma dress me up like her at a costume party. Other kids were dressed like super heroes, monsters, cartoon characters, etc., but I wanted to be a queen. God's chosen one. Maybe my mindset is still like that little girl. I want to be a woman of nobility. I want to be the favorite. The chosen one. The one who impacts the world around her. The one who makes a difference in other people's lives -a history maker. Embracing this process of being a Ruth has not been easy. I have even questioned God "why?" Poppa God does not let me complain or grumble. He doesn't allow me to wallow in self pity over my circumstances of being a single momma. He whispers to my soul, "Daughter, let's go to high places." He expects my best in all I do. He expects my actions to be done in excellence. I think of Esther and the beauty treatments she went through as she prepared herself for that one night with the king. I feel like that -that He's bathing me in His presence. Washing away the grime and pain of the past. Leading me to soak in His loveliness and fragrance. This time of preparing for greatness means He requires greatness of me always. My attitudes and how I treat others, how I let go of offences, how I pray for those who hurt me, how I handle myself when I am around people who I don't like, all of this is preparing me for the destiny He has for me. This is a special prayer I wrote a while back. I have shared it before but I find it to be fitting and useful:
My prayer: ( Lord, Make in me a heart of a Queen who captures a King)
Dear God, I pray for a heart of nobility like Queen Esther, who knew her purpose and the hour in which she lived, who knew how to touch the heart of a King.
I pray to be like Abigail, who understood how to show respect and build a man's confidence up with her words and actions. She was wise.
I pray to be like Deborah, who knew how to dance and praise You even in the midst of difficult circumstances.
I desire to be like Rachel, who had a servant's heart.
I long to be like the Shulamite woman, who was a great lover and the "Favorite One" of the King.
I desire character and perseverance like Hannah, who pursued what she longed for and did not give up.
I want to be like Ruth, who was faithful and loyal and was considered to be a noble woman who captivated the heart of a kinsman redeemer and received blessings.
I want to be found highly favored like Mary, whose calling impacted the entire world.
Make me and mould me to be a woman after your heart, oh God ...a woman of virtue, wisdom, and grace; a woman who walks in her destiny and purpose, a woman who is remembered long after I am gone, so that I will leave a lasting legacy. In Jesus' name, Amen ~ Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012, 2013 All rights reserved.
