Thursday, September 26, 2013

Pink Bow Of Expectation (The Seeds You've Sown)

About a year ago this day, I sowed one of the hardest seeds of my life. God reminded me today of it. I truly believe in sowing seeds into the kingdom of God. There is purpose in trusting Him with your finances and gifts. Being a single mom has been so hard at times, but I heard a powerful message on the TV, and I felt a very strong tug at my heart to sow a sacrificial seed into a particular ministry. I had nothing...really nothing of great value, except my 1.12 ct wedding ring. I kept feeling the Holy Spirit tell me to sow it. I was scared and hesitant. I also thought that maybe this ministry would think I'm nuts to be giving such a strange "seed". I contemplated it and prayed. I wondered if I was crazy. "Are you really asking me to do this? It seems kind of nuts...." I even went to a dear old couple at church and sought counsel with them about it. They prayed over my ring and I wept. Yes, God was asking me to give my only possession that had monetary value. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate as I typed a letter to the person in charge of their ministry. I cried. I understood what Poppa God was doing...This seed...this ring represented my past, my present and most certainly my future. I didn't know if the ministry would or could even use my diamond ring, but I knew in my heart I had to give it over to be sown. My harvest...was attached to this unusual seed. The funny thing was that Holy Spirit told me to wrap it carefully with a satin pink bow. I am a girly girl by nature. When I have given gifts, I was always taught that presentation was just as important as the gift itself. So I did. I wrapped that ring with a tiny satin pink ribbon. I was afraid to send it in the mail in fear it would get lost so I had to borrow the money from a friend to send it by registered mail.  My heart pounded as I handed over the envelope to the mail clerk. I kissed that package, laid hands on it, and anointed it with prayer oil. I stood on that word, "You must let go of what's in your hand to receive a harvest." Oh, did I need a harvest...3 things I attached my expectation of faith to that seed. I felt excited and I knew I was being obedient to what God asked of me. I waited...and waited...and waited some more. Months went by and I wondered if the ministry even received it. I called and asked and even cried on the phone in a moment of emotional desperation. The lady on the phone said, "Yes, we have record of it here." She sounded like it was no big deal...I felt a twinge of disappointment but then reasoned with myself that this ministry is huge and they probably receive gifts all the time. I really did want and had hoped that this great man of God would have at least personally acknowledged that he had received it, but it was not so ...and of course the enemy tried to convince me that my seed had no value or that it was not received at all. He wanted me to feel rejected, but I told myself that I gave that gift and sacrificial seed as unto the Lord and not man. I knew the seed I sowed was in fertile soil...good soil. I believed in this ministry and the great work that they were investing in others. So I stood and reminded myself often that there was a pink bow of "EXPECTATION" wrapped around my seed. It times of doubt I have reminded God..."Please remember me.  I believe in the harvest of the seed I sowed into your kingdom." It's been one year today. I know in my heart that my faith and expectation has gotten my Heavenly Father's attention...what we do behind closed doors He sees. I didn't tell anyone about giving my wedding ring away. Not my momma, not my kids (except my grown son who I told to pray and believe with me). Not my ex-husband, not even the friend I borrowed money from to send it. I told no one, because I was so humbled and felt it was so precious to me that I did not want anyone to be critical or put doubt in me. I felt sad at times, because I love diamonds. It was so hard to give it up, but I told myself, "There are more diamonds to be had, Jenny." Today, while I was taking a bath the Holy Spirit.reminded me that in the time of Queen Esther, He woke up the King in the middle of the night and reminded him of the deed that Mordecai did and that he was not rewarded according to the scrolls that the palace records were written on, but the King's attention was brought to what Mordecai had done for him, and he publicly celebrated and honored and promoted him to a better  position for what he had done. God sees our seeds and He knows our tears. Those who sow in tears will REAP songs of JOY. God has not forgotten me...He is the KING of my Heart. And HE has my attention. My HARVEST is COMING. I share this precious and personal story because I know it may encourage some of you Ruths who have been sowing, praying, and standing for something the Lord has promised you. He has not forgotten you. He has seen your sacrifices and offerings. He sees behind your closed doors when you have done something kind for someone else. When you chose to give even when you did not receive child support, or your paycheck was short. You may have felt so misunderstood and lowly. I know that's how I have felt for months, but He loves the heart of a giver and He knows how much you been faithful. He values you and your gift. I believe I receive my harvest...My pink bow of expectation is wrapped around it. I will get my harvest. It's coming. Hold on dear one. Your harvest is coming, too. <3  Written by Jenny Williams copyright 2013
P.S.: This is a photo of the actual ring. I at least have this pic as a memory. God is faithful.

1 comment:

  1. Jenny.... you write what is in my heart. I have sown my monetary possession last year. I know I did it with a pure heart. I know Satan has tried to make me feel stupid for doing it on many occasions.... I have huge medical debt from my last daughter (who I've never gotten child support for). I question myself, was it really necessary for me to do and I know the answer. If I had to do it over, I would have done it the same way. GOD has a plan that I don't understand sometimes but that isn't my job. My instruction is to follow. Love you Jenny. God bless you.