She Desires...

 

 

 

I desire to be...

Understood...
Accepted...
Favored...
Cherished......
Treasured...
Preserved...
Protected...
Covered...
Redeemed...
Desired...
Lavished...
Honored...
Discovered...
Explored...
Valued...
Ravished...
Needed...
Wanted...
Blessed...
Loved.
~Jenny Williams,
A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2014

Prophetic Word For My Sister

You are beautiful...Your beauty is emerging in a deeper and more intimate level with Poppa God. You will carry a garden of His fragrance for others to savor and smell. You will walk in greatness like never before and go to greater heights. Your steps will be confident. You will know your royal authority and use it well. Your ministry will prosper and bring forth much fruit in due season. He will honor you with a new position and new shoes to wear. New dreams will be birthed out of you that you never could imagine could from you. Your obedience in difficult season will be honored by the King who loves you and has called you for such a time as this. marriages and Ministries will be impacted in ways you know not. You may have been feeling hidden for much of the time but you will bust out like a butterfly and soar. The enemy's plans and lies spoken over you will be snuffed out....because your confidence will be found in Christ alone and His word. Don't limit yourself...But believe. Greater things are yet to come. Prophetic word (9/9/2014) Love, jenny Williams Copyright 2014

Wisdom I learned as a "Ruth"

If you are trying so hard to get his attention...He's not the one. Boaz noticed her without her even trying.

There's wisdom during this season that you should discover and treasure. God brings His best treasures during your greatest adversities.

The faster you learn... the easier it is to work the field you are in.

Humility seems to be a character trait a Ruth must acquire. It's hard and I'm learning this. My circumstances are humble. No way to hide that but continue pressing on.

If he's noticed you, he will let you know. Boaz summoned his workers to find out about her.  He spoke to her and offered her a place at his table.

We feel lonely, but we are not alone. Notice the other women working in the field? They are in your same situation... just different details.

A Boaz requires higher standards than common men do. I must be an uncommon woman if I am going qualify to be somebody's Ruth.

Giving to others and encouraging others helps lessen my pain. Ruth was known in her community as a good woman who was unselfish. I hope that is how people see me.

I have to step into unfamiliar fields. I have to speak to people I don't know. I have to be brave. It's scary sometimes.

If your Boaz shows true interest, be brave enough to reach back.
I hope I can do this. I am sometimes shy. Also, it feels risky to possibly be rejected. But if Ruth didn't reach for Boaz, her story wouldn't have changed and we wouldn't have known about her legacy.

Some days seem really hard. I have to refocus when my pain is fogging up my hope or vision. Take a bubble bath, play some music, eat a piece of chocolate, spend alone time with Poppa God.

Appreciate the little things and the beauty in each moment or you will completely lose any joy you do have.
Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014

A Ruth's Song

 

 

 

 

A song I wrote while taking a bath. It's my simple prayer and song for my future Boaz.

 

I want to wake up hearing him singing praises to You.
I want to know he's in his secret place honoring You.

I want a man who loves me like You do.

I want to grow with him....
I want to sow with him.
I want to sing with him.
I want to pray with him.
I want to worship with him.
I want to give with him.

And when I lay my head down on his chest at night- I hear him praying to you. He's my favorite good night. His love for you, Holy Spirit inspires me to draw closer to You.

I want to serve with him.
I want to dream with him.
I want to play with him.
I want to learn with him.
I want to build with him.
I want to love with him.

Wherever he goes I will follow ...because I know he follows after You.
I want a man who loves me like You do.

This is my humbled prayer and spontaneous song I sang today while taking a bath. I normally don't write all my songs down...But I want to remember this one because maybe I'll sing it some day on my wedding day. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014 ~ A Modern Day Ruth

— with Jenny Williams.

Simply Me

She's not perfect but she tries. She dreams bigger than her reach. She laughs at herself and her silly ways. When nobody is watching she dances in her kitchen to music and praise. She breathes sea air and squishes her toes on a sandy beaches. Singing to Poppa God in a bubble bath is her favorite thing. Sunsets make her grateful. She's true country in her blood and her faith is found with deep unrelenting roots. She feels pretty in her lace Sunday dress and wears her aqua boots. Coffee is her sane addiction. Chocolate is her pleasure along with good meaningful conversation. She fights for what she believes in...she's a pajama wearing prayer warrior. She's loyal to those she holds dear. Music is like blood flowing in her veins. She writes, sings, creates and her brain is always inspired. She loves to talk to all of God's little creatures...they are her friends. She loves satin ribbons and things that sparkle and glimmer. Her feet love pretty shoes and pedicures. She's been a beautiful mess but she is blessed. She's a proud momma and always will be. She's had broken wings, but now she soars to greater heights; and the wind of the Holy Spirit causes her to fly in heavenly places. She is...a daughter of the Great King. She's simply me. ~ Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014

Love Story (As Featured in Virtue Magazine Feb/Mar 2014 Edition)

My love story is different than some...One day, the true love of my life walked out the door for the last time. It was one of the most painful and devastating times imaginable, but I knew I had to keep going, and it was only by the grace of God that I did. I started Ruby Wives Ministry, and it was growing by leaps and bounds. I had no idea that during my own heart shattering crisis, God would make something good come out of my ashes. My humbled and naive idea of helping other hurting women who were silently struggling in their marriages while dealing with separation or divorce, would turn into something bigger than I could ever plan. It was really stepping out onto the water for me, because I didn't even know how to make a Facebook page at the time. I was crying in a crumpled heap on my pile of laundry when I heard His almost audible voice whisper to my heart: "I want you to take these women with you on this journey."

Two and a half years later, thousands of women and even men have become faithful readers of our pages that offer simple prayers, wisdom, and encouragement for spouses. God allowed my brokenness and reflection of the mistakes I made as a wife to become wisdom gems to share with others. Through transparently shared struggles about my own journey of healing, our readers responded openly and thanked me because they could relate. My tears became their comfort, because they felt they were not alone. My surrendered weakness to God became my new-found strength as well as theirs, because they were dealing with similar circumstances. Then came the newly wed brides, the happily married wives...women of different circumstances and statuses, broken or abandoned...they all became fans. I realized that as I was learning and gleaning wisdom and sharing it with wives, a positive growth and change was happening. It was contagious. Praise God! It was all His beautiful plan unfolding before me. Letters poured in from around the world with reports of marriages being restored and women being encouraged. My heart has been so overabundantly blessed, and even though things haven't turned out the way I thought they would, or the way I wanted them to, God revealed to me that He has always had a plan, and that He knew what was best for me. He built a full time ministry out of my broken mess and ashes, and He built a new dream in me. Beauty had come.

One thing I have learned through this beautiful, crazy and amazing journey, is that we all have one thing in common: a broken heart is a broken heart. Pain is pain. Marriage troubles are the same everywhere, no matter who you are or where you are from. The internet is a way to reach women in all parts of the world. Barriers are broken by it. I have had countless pastors' wives who were hurting in silence because their spouse was having an affair, struggling with addictions, etc., write to me for advice and prayers. They felt safe reaching out for help online.

Through this process, I finally came to a certain place of healing and surrender in my heart, I saw that God had an even bigger plan, and that I was not to look backward anymore. I found that my love story isn't over, it's being rediscovered and revised by the One who created love in the first place. Thus, A Modern Day Ruth was born. God revealed that the "Ruth" of this generation is primarily the woman who has been abandoned, divorced because of circumstances beyond her control, or has experienced abuse and neglect. The Modern Day Ruth is a woman who has experienced a devastation or even spiritual and emotional "death." Her husband has died to her and the family, and has walked away.

We live in a society where if it isn't easy or if it needs fixing, we will just go get a "new one" and people end up discarded as if they're replaceable things. It's so sad. Our world would be a happier and better place if people valued and honored marriages and families. What's worse is that the very place where women like us should find refuge comfort and support -the church- often judges, condemns, and turns its head away from these women. Many times I, myself, have felt that the Christian family I thought would be there for me, looked at me like I was the woman with the scarlet letter, as though I was someone who slept around. I was surprised to find that this is the perception some people have of single moms. That was definitely not the case for me, and even if it was, what would Jesus do? He never condemned the woman at the well, nor did he throw a stone at the woman who supposedly was caught in the act of adultery. I see the story of the woman at the well as tragic. She must have had her heart severely broken several times. She must have been abandoned, rejected, lied to, used, and promised false forevers... I often wish I could go back in time and hug that woman in the Bible and tell her I love her and that she's going to be alright, but Jesus did it for me.

Now, as I walk this role of A Modern Day Ruth and as a leader of women, I continue to reach out to as many as possible, to remind each one that her love story doesn't just end in heartache and tears, and that her life isn't going to be just struggle and pain. I know she faces tear-stained pillow nights and wrestles with ongoing loneliness. She wakes up to difficult days of surviving while trying to take care of her children...the family her husband left behind. Though Ruth was a widow, she ended up having her season of heartache turn to a lifetime of joy, and the promise of a lasting legacy. I am many times reminded of the words that are engraved upon my heart, and I have clung to them often: Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Everyone has a love story. Sometimes that love story doesn't turn out the way you wish it would have. Maybe you're fighting for your love story right now to continue -fighting to keep your marriage alive, or your fairy tale dream may already have been shattered or ended in disappointment. Mine is that God took my messed up, abandoned, and broken heart and held me. He cradled me in the midst of my sheer agony and emotional turmoil. He didn't save my marriage, but He saved me. He gave me purpose and He took each piece of my heart and mended me, making me stronger and better than before. I have come to know that in Him I do have my happy ever after, and my love story with Him is still beautifully unfolding. Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2014

Ruth In Process

As I am walking the road of living as A Modern Day Ruth I have learned to not just twiddle my thumbs and waste away waiting for my promised Boaz. I have embraced the process of gleaning wisdom and allowing Poppa God to heal my heart. He has been leading me to grow deeper in my faith and to go to higher places. I am not here just to get a man and to be loved. There is purpose and meaning to this season of my life. I walked through two years of being honest with myself and acknowledging the areas I could do better or needed real change. My self esteem was one of them. I never had the earthly Daddy I desired -one who would love me and have a relationship with me. I would have been a great Daddy's girl. My heart still aches from not ever having that, but I now know my worth and value are not based on this. I finally came to a place where I didn't have to have a date on a Friday night. I don't need a boyfriend to feel special or loved. I'm okay. This was huge for me to get to this point in the process. All the men in my life have disappointed and hurt me. I finally looked in the mirror and realized that I had to break the cycle of settling for less than what I deserved and needed as a daughter of God. No more men that beat me, abandon me, who don't provide for me, etc. I'm better than all that. I may be waiting for a Boaz who is wanting a Ruth. I had to ask God, "What do I need to do to prepare for him to come into my life?" Ruth in the Bible walked a long road of tears, pain and overcoming obstacles. She was faithful to her mother-in-law and to the Lord whom she embraced. She worked in the field she was assigned to...she gleaned. She worked in the hot sun to provide food for Naomi and herself. She was moving forward in life. She could have given up and gone back to what was easier and more familiar to her, but she didn't. This is how one of the greatest love stories ever known unfolded...she met her Boaz on the other side of that field. Suddenly her life of sorrows changed to life of joy and happiness. God gave her better than she had before. Her destiny came to pass. I know the special man that comes into my life will respect and appreciate the journey I have been on. He will see my strength and my faithfulness to God in the midst of great adversity. He will celebrate me with love and cover me. He will want to help make my days be brighter and wipe away those tears of heartache and frustration. God has someone for you. Just be patient and embrace the process. Don't forget: God restores what was lost. It may not be the way you are expecting, but it will always be better than before. Hang on, Beloved. Your sudden Boaz will come. Be ready for love again. Be ready to all that you can be to bless someone else. Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2014

Tender Places

When you lose someone you love, the holidays can be bittersweet. I usually smile -and then smile some more. I plow through. The most important thing for me is the happiness of my kids. They don't know how hard it is -and honestly, I hope they never experience this from my viewpoint. My youngest, who is 12, kept hugging me all day. She clung to me. I think somehow she knew how I was feeling, but no words were exchanged about it. She is a sweetheart -a tender heart...
I awoke this morning feeling tenderhearted. I wish there was a button for that -one that could turn off my heart, so I would no longer feel. It was strange, that last night before drifting off to sleep. I missed him just a little bit, but I reminded myself to not go there, because missing someone who has chosen not to be in your life does no good. It won't bring him back, and it won't change things. I remind myself that it was not him that I missed, but the idea of what I thought was real: to be loved by someone. I so badly wanted to be held last night and be told that everything was going to be alright, to feel a hand brush my cheek and wipe my tears. I know that my heart has been through a lot....and it's been healing these past four years. I think my heart must be like an elephant, because it seems to have a long memory. I don't want to be tender today. I just don't want to be reminded of the pain I once knew, but I know others hurt so much worse, and I will never forget for their sake. The brokenhearted need someone to care. They need a hug. They need assurance. May I never forget that, even when my life is filled with the love of someone again. Tender places are a painting of the human's emotions, captured in time.
Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013.

I Don't

I Don't:

I don't date bad boys because they just bring bad into my life.

I don't do drama or associate with people who love it. I focus on positives, not negatives.

I don't do gossip. I can't stand it -and if you do it in my presence, I will not endorse it, and I certainly won't trust you. 

I don't do liars. If you are deceptive, I most likely won't give you a second glance. Be truthful always with me. 

I don't take back a man who cheats on me. I used to, but I got off that merry-go-round. It's not a fun ride.

I don't do providing for a man. I'm not meant to bring home the bacon and cook it for you. I don't date guys who refuse to work.

I don't do stalkers. If you text 25 times in a day just because I haven't answered back, you need serious help.
I don't do cray cray (Crazy). A man must have a sound mind.

I don't do missionary dating. I won't be unequally yoked. You must already be saved. I'm not your savior.

I don't go out with a man who does not treat me like a lady. I won't teach you how to be a gentleman, you should already know how.

I don't take on the task of changing a man. Your Momma had that job. She raised you.

I don't take abuse from a man -not even a lifted hand in a moment of anger. One time and I'm out the door forever.

I don't date men who have addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or pornography. I won't judge you if you have had these addictions, but you have to be completely delivered and redeemed from them. I don't date chains of bondage.

I don't allow a man to defile me, dishonor me or sexually assault me. I am a Bride of Christ and I expect a man to treat me as such. 

I don't do men who live like paupers...(I'm not talking finances). I mean that you don't walk in the fullness and authority of Jesus Christ as joint heirs...You must be a son of the most High God...Walk and live as an ambassador of the King of Kings. I have a queen's heart and I want a man who treats me like one.

I don't do men who harm children or animals, or who are unkind to people who serve. How do you treat your waiter at a restaurant? This shows your true colors.

I don't respect men who can't respect and honor authority: parents, pastors, leaders, bosses, etc.

I don't do men who can't love my kids. They are my precious cargo. We are blessings not burdens.

I don't invest my heart into yours if you don't treat me as a valuable treasure.

I don't build dreams with a man who has no dream, no goal, no vision....I can't follow you otherwise.

I don't do men who are prideful and arrogant, because you will fall -a lot. A humble man is a good man.

I don't do men who are not sold out to God. You should be living a life surrendered to Christ every day. You read the Bible, Pray with me and for me...You attend church regularly and you pay tithes and offerings. You honor your parents so it goes well with you all your days.

Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.  A Modern Day Ruth

How To Displease Me

 

How To Displease Me

 My pet peeves are simple. These are things I seriously could go without in my life. Some of you might even agree with me on a few. They are in no paticular order.
1. Gossip: Don't even think about doing this in my presence. Any lady or gentleman knows better and does not speak ill of others nor do they entertain other people who do. Don't do this around me or I may say something to you. I do not tolerate gossip. Nothing good comes from it.
2. Not showing appreciation to those who serve you: Waiters, ushers, government workers, attendants, sales people...they have a tough job. Give them a smile, compliment them when they go out of their way. It's disrespectful to not give them a decent tip.
3. People who put labels on single mommas: Just because she's a single mom does not mean she sleeps around or is after your spouse. I have found christians to treat these women as outcasts. I've experienced this myself many times -even in church. Single moms have a rough road, and you don't know all the details that brought them to their status. Many of these women were abandoned or abused...all have been brokenhearted. Single moms are the '"Ruths" of this generation. Before you judge, walk in her shoes 24/7. What she really needs from you is love and acceptance. She needs help and hope.
4. Men who play games: Don't lie- not ever. Small lies are not okay with me. Being honest and saying how you feel is best. My heart is not a toy.
5. Rudeness: Please don't belch or pass gas in my presence. It's the hugest turn off ever. If one slips out- I understand but be polite about it. I am a lady.
6. Don't cuss in my presence. Don't use God's name in vain. This strongly offends me and grieves my heart.
7. Talking down to me in public or yelling at me in sarcastic tones: I won't do this to you either. It's disrespectful and dishonorable to do this to others.
8. Brown nylons -yuck. Margarine -gag. Only REAL butter will do. Fake sugar, artificial sweetener -so bad for you. Anything artificial is not a good idea.
9. Rude drivers: People's true colors come out when they drive. If you are one of these kinds of drivers, please don't have a fish symbol on the back of your bumper -you embarrass me.
10. Seeing others suffer: The homeless, animals who are hurting, children being neglected or abused, seeing someone cry and no one is offering to comfort them. If I could be a giant hug for everyone, I would. If you cry, I feel like crying. We must all do our part to help those who can't help themselves. Jesus was moved with compassion. May I never forget the fraility of a human heart. Love does more than any other action.
Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/ A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

Dear Ruth

To the "Ruths" who are waiting for a "Boaz" to walk into your life:
  I remember the day my Mama and I went to a powerful church service at Jesus Pursuit Church in Albany. We we're both going through some painful and difficult times. My heart had been severely broken by my husband of 13 years who walked away from God and his family. The air was thick in the sanctuary. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet. The music was going, and I was lost in worship. This place felt safe. In my heart I leaned against Poppa God on a white horse. I call God Poppa. I have always wanted to be a Daddy's girl, but my real Dad couldn't be there for me. In His presence I felt like I was the only one. I spiritually felt bare and naked with my broken heart exposed, but felt so safe and so warm resting in His arms. After the music and message that were given, my Mama wanted me to go up front to the altar area to be prayed for. I felt shy and awkward about it, but at my Mama's request, I did. She's my hero in so many ways. Anything she asks of me I will do. I was prayed for and given a precious and memorable word. I was told by the prayer lady that God wanted me know it wasn't my fault and that Poppa loved me. He called me His favorite. And at that moment I felt like I truly was. God is so awesome how He does this. We truly are His favorite. Each one of us. After some time I went and kneeled at the altar and cried out to Him. I heard Him say so clearly- I'm sending you a "Boaz". I pondered what He said. I knew it was His voice. I've never really been interested much about the story of Ruth and Boaz. I went to Sunday School as a child and it was never my favorite story, but since then I have studied the book of Ruth. I've listened and gleaned from it and applied it to areas of my life. Have I bumped into my Boaz, Yet? No, but I have learned to be busy about my Father's business. Loving others and working in the fields that God has called me to. I have met so many "Ruths and Naomies" along the way of this healing journey. I have spent the last few years gleaning and sharing wisdom of what a godly woman and wife should be like. Sharing my own journey, being transparent with my readers, praying and standing in the gap for marriages. We have helped soothe some broken hearts. Poppa God has been faithful. I see so many strong women who have been hurt and disappointed; but their faith shines like the sun and I am so privileged and blessed to know them. The story of Ruth is about redemption. Poppa God covers us with His love and redeems us from our painful past. He celebrates us as the Bride of Christ. He provides for us single mamas and is a Husband when we need one. He is also a Father to the fatherless. He is all that we have need of. I've learned to let go of searching for the affections of a man, and to put my broken bleeding heart into the hands of the Almighty. There, I know it will always be protected and safe. I have come so far, and I feel so grateful that I'm no longer broken or dismayed. He has given me purpose -given me a message that burns on my heart to share. Keep trusting God, Keep walking in faith, and do what God has called you to -and when the time is right, your "Boaz" will see you from across the field.   Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/A Modern Day Ruth. Copyright 2013.

Dear Future Boaz, I will Love You For A Thousand Years

Every part of this song relates to me on this journey -being afraid, all the healing, all the times of trying to be brave, and now the waiting -which seems like I have waited a thousand years. I've been letting Poppa God cut off the dead things in my life that were no longer needed. I can't wait to tell this to someone someday: "Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years....I'll love you for a thousand more. All along I have believed that I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me for a thousand years...I will love you for a thousand more."
I'm sure Ruth felt like this when she met her Boaz. Like she was finally "home" again. If I ever walk down that aisle, it just might have to be to this song...~ Written By Ms.Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth 

Song: A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

http://youtu.be/ffkawkZFYtA

The Process

The process of becoming a queen is different than that of a princess. The more the Lord entrusts us with, the more He requires of us. I feel like I have been hidden away in a secret place being prepared for something greater than my understanding can conceive of. It's funny that when I was a little girl I wanted to be Queen Esther for a costume party. Other kids were monsters, cartoon characters or super heroes. No one knew who I was, but I would blurt out, "I'm Queen Esther!" My life has been far from royalty. I have lived a hard life, but through it all, I think my destiny has been whispering through every heartache and every hardship. He's preparing me for the dream He wants to fulfill in me. The past several months have been a painful, but a necessary time of refinement. He won't let me ignore certain areas anymore. I felt such struggle and even disappointment in myself. I felt like nothing but "ugly" was coming out of me. I told the Lord I felt so ugly because my weaknesses were coming to the surface, but He spoke so clearly, "You asked me to make you more beautiful. This is what I am doing."  He has been washing off the residue of the pain and hurts I have endured from past relationships. The old labels and recordings of harsh words that were spoken over me. The abuse...and trauma. The best part of this process has been bathing in His sweet presence. There's nothing like spending time with the Holy Spirit. Singing to Him -worshiping at the feet of the King. His fragrance is what I want to smell like. <3  I want to savor it. These 21 days of fasting have been challenging. At times I failed miserably -especially during the week of having a persistent fever, but the moments I had with Him were amazing. I long for more. Whatever God is doing in you, don't be hard on yourself. You are lovely. There is "Greatness" in you. He is preparing you for the next season -for such a time as this. ~ Love, Jenny. A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013.  All rights reserved.

I Feel So Beautiful When:

I feel beautiful when...
(I found it !!!! A writing of mine from a while back. This makes me smile... I'm still this woman but only better...Poppa God is so good ! )
I feel Beautiful When:
I'm lost in worship and everything else fades away.
I sing in the Spirit private love songs to God.
I am walking barefoot on the seashore, the waves lapping at my ankles.
I see a sunset. My heart sings even if my lips don't move.
I hold a baby to my chest and kiss her chubby cheeks.
I am painting on a canvas.
I laugh loudly and freely.
I am in a silly and quirky mood.
I wear my favorite perfume.
I listen to jazz or Frank Sinatra.
I twirl around when snow is falling.
I preach with boldness and authority.
I wear high heels.
I smile at a stranger and I know it brightened their day.
I am touched deeply and a tear slips down my face.
I hear my Daddy say he loves me.
I receive red roses. Oh, I love them.
I walk in the cool of the night and smell the fragrances in the air.
I know for certain that I've made a difference in someone's life.
I have a scripture that leaps within me and it's alive. Wow.
I sit at a beautiful place and the lighting is just right.
I am engaged in a warm and stimulating conversation.
I have found another treasure -a good piece of wisdom to hold.
I hear Poppa God whisper "Baby girl" to me.
I am kissed on the forehead.
I know I am glowing from the inside out.
I am complimented about my heart.
I finished a workout at the gym. I did it.
I have my feet up on the dash of a truck listening to country tunes.
I know I am a Daughter of the MOST HIGH. His presence makes me feel so beautiful.
Don't forget YOU are BEAUTIFUL TOO! PLEASE POST BELOW WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL.
Written By Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012 All rights reserved.
Ruby Wives and A Modern Day Ruth

— with Jenny Williams.

Just a Little Something

I wrote this because it's how I feel. It's not that I don't want to be loved, it's that I do want it...real love.

There are no lies when there is love. When there is only truth, there is trust. You are safe with the one you love. Perfect love casts out all fear. This is what I want. I want that kind of love. ~ By Jenny Williams Ruby Wives Copyright 2013.

To The One (Dear Daughter)

To the one who woke up and her heart still feels heavy 

-she thought her nightmare would finally turn to sweet dreams.

To the one who has known so many tears 

-she feels her soul is like waterfalls.

To the one who can't believe she is getting back up again after feeling like she has failed once more.

To the one who wishes her Daddy would have held her, hugged her, and told her she was beautiful when she was a little girl.

To the one who never feels like she fits in the crowd, and wonders what is wrong with her.

To the one who feels like she isn't good enough, strong enough, pretty enough.

To the one who just wants to be held and her arms ache for warmth and tender loving care.

To the one who feels betrayed and forgotten and feels no one cares.

To the one who has seen nothing but ashes and broken dreams

and is afraid to even begin to dream again.

To the one who feels misunderstood and judged by others about her circumstances.

To the one who can't see sunshine, rainbows or silver linings because the night has been so long for her.

To the one who feels every step forward is so difficult and a struggle  

-she feels weary from her travels.

To the one who feels lost and can't find her way 

-she doesn't know what to do and where to go.

To the one who has deep wounds that don't seem to heal fast enough.

To the one who has to be the provider, the Momma and the Daddy 

-she just wants to be taken care of too.

To the one who has cried out and prayed and still doesn't see the answers come.

To the one who is so lonely and wants to trust for love again. 

Oh, To be loved.

To the one who wants to trust but is afraid of being hurt again.

To the one who wants attention and affection 

-she wants to be cherished and feel valued.

To the one who wants to end her life because she desperately wants to find relief from all of this

...hold on...don't do it....

To the one who is working so hard, but it just never seems to be enough.

To the one who has experienced enough pain and trauma to last a lifetime 

-she just wants peace and safety again.

To the one who just wants to feel pampered, loved and celebrated.

To the one who just wants to feel beautiful again 

-she feels her tiredness, weariness and scars are all others see.

To the one who feels like it's all her fault 

-she feels so ashamed, dirty, and used.

To the one who needs to hear that she matters and that she is not forgotten.

To the one who is about to give up in believing for better.

To the one who wishes she was someone's favorite 

-she wants to be the special one.

To the one who feels so lowly she doesn't think she can achieve or accomplish anything 

-she just might fail.

To the one who wonders if she is even lovable....

To the one who has been told she would never amount to anything.

To the one who has been abandoned so many times that she's afraid to be left by everyone 

-she's so scared.

Dear One...God sees you. He hears you. He is with you. He is near you. He cries with you. He knows your tears and feels your pain. He loves you for who you are and where you are at. He has a love for you that does not end, despite all the circumstances and mess you feel you are in. He does not condemn you. He does not judge you. He does not forget you. He is your arms to lean on. He is strong enough to carry you and your burdens. He is steady and unmoving. He will not walk out on you. He cares about what you need and desire. He is working out a plan, if you will trust Him and choose His way. He loved you enough to suffer and die for you. He sees you as beautiful. He is proud of you. He is not ashamed of you. He wants better for you. He wants you to rest in Him. He wants to heal your heart and have you give Him all the pieces. He wants to be your everything. He simply loves you, Dear One. He loves you.
~ Written by Jenny Williams A Modern Day Ruth/Ruby Wives  Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.

Saying Goodbye To Goodbyes

I had to say "Goodbye" to many goodbyes. I had to "un-believe" the many lies spoken over me, and as I took each new step toward tomorrow, I knew I would never be the same. When I looked behind me, at my ash heap of everything I held dear that was gone....It was gone. Because of God's great Mercy, He swept it far away so that I could experience better and brighter days. Though this time has felt so lonely, I have come to understand that He has a better plan. His Grace would not allow me to stay in my misery and pain. He has clothed me in His strength. He has poured my bottle of tears into a sweet fragrance just for me, and now I wear its perfume proudly as a testimony. The Lord is so faithful and so good to me. ~ Jenny Williams, Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. No copy or duplication without the author's permission.  A Modern Day Ruth 

— with Jenny Williams.

He's Making Me Beautiful

 

Someone told me today that I was beautiful, but I didn't feel like it. My hair was wet and drippy and I had no makeup on. I've been feeling a bit tired and weary from the journey. Maybe they saw something I don't. The truth is, it's a littl...e hard to believe someone when they say that about me. I think it's because men who have told me this- have hurt me and abandoned me. My Daddy didn't give me compliments much when I was growing up. I feel shy when someone gives me a compliment, although now I am gracious and thank them as a lady should. I love to tell others -especially little girls. I never want one to feel lowly or unlovely. I always tell my teenage daughters all the time. I wrote a piece like this a while back, but wrote a new one since I couldn't find it. Maybe I needed the reminder myself. Just because there are areas God is working on, doesn't mean the work in progress isn't beautiful.

I feel beautiful when:

When I'm lost in worship and His presence.
When I smile at a stranger.
When I sing a love song to Poppa God.
When I am twirling in the rain or snow.
When I am smelling roses.
When I know I have made a difference in someone's life.
When I wear dresses and heels. And be my girly girl self.
When I see sunsets and feel gratefulness in my heart.
When I go on walks with Poppa God in the cool of the night.
When I wear my favorite perfume. People say I smell so good.
When I hear ocean waves and smell the salty air.
When I'm lost in a warm conversation that has caught my attention.
When I run through crunchy leaves in the fall.
When I'm proud of my children...Their precious lives makes me beautiful.
When I know I'm glowing from the inside out.
When I listen to a song that my heart relates to.
When a child comes up to me and wraps their little hands around me.
When the wind blows across my face...I take those moments as Poppa God kissing me.
When my heart is tender during a beautiful moment.
Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.  A Modern Day Ruth

— with Jenny Williams.

Dear Ruth

To the "Ruths" who are waiting for a "Boaz" to walk into your life:
  I remember the day my Mama and I went to a powerful church service at Jesus Pursuit Church in Albany. We were both going through some painful and difficult times. My heart had been severely broken by my husband of 13 years who had walked away from God and his family. The air was thick in the sanctuary. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet. The music was going, and I was lost in worship. This place felt safe. In my heart I leaned against Poppa God on a white horse. I call God Poppa. I have always wanted to be a Daddy's girl, but my real Dad couldn't be there for me. In His presence I felt like I was the only one. I spiritually felt bare and naked with my broken heart exposed, but felt so safe and so warm resting in His arms. After the music and message that were given, my Mama wanted me to go up front to the altar area to be prayed for. I felt shy and awkward about it, but at my Mama's request, I did. She's my hero in so many ways. Anything she asks of me I will do. I was prayed for and given a precious and memorable word. I was told by the prayer lady that God wanted me know it wasn't my fault and that Poppa loved me. He called me His favorite, and in that moment, I felt like I truly was. God is so awesome how He does this. We truly are His favorite. Each one of us. After some time, I went and kneeled at the altar and cried out to Him. I heard Him say so clearly- I'm sending you a "Boaz". I pondered what He said. I knew it was His voice. I've never really been interested much about the story of Ruth and Boaz. I went to Sunday School as a child and it was never my favorite story, but since then I have studied the book of Ruth. I've listened and gleaned from it and applied it to areas of my life. Have I bumped into my Boaz yet? No, but I have learned to be busy about my Father's business. Loving others and working in the fields that God has called me to. I have met so many "Ruths and Naomis" along the way of this healing journey. I have spent the last few years gleaning and sharing wisdom of what a godly woman and wife should be like. Sharing my own journey, being transparent with my readers, praying and standing in the gap for marriages. We have helped soothe some broken hearts. Poppa God has been faithful. I see so many strong women who have been hurt and disappointed, but their faith shines like the sun, and I am so privileged and blessed to know them. The story of Ruth is about redemption. Poppa God covers us with His love and redeems us from our painful past. He celebrates us as the Bride of Christ. He provides for us single mamas and is a Husband when we need one. He is also a Father to the fatherless. He is all that we have need of. I've learned to let go of searching for the affections of a man, and to put my broken bleeding heart into the hands of the Almighty. There, I know it will always be protected and safe. I have come so far, and I feel so grateful that I'm no longer broken or dismayed. He has given me purpose -given me a message that burns on my heart to share. Keep trusting God, Keep walking in faith, and do what God has called you to -and when the time is right, your "Boaz" will see you from across the field.  Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Ruby Wives Copyright 2013

I'm Not Afraid (Dear Boaz)

The Lord has been bringing out beautiful things for me and in me. Today He gave me the most beautiful song...A love song. For my future Boaz. My heart has been very much in preparation for the future husband He has called me to be by his side. I don't just want a husband. I want to be anointed and called to be his wife. I feel called to be next to a leader. To be an example to the church of what a godly wife is supposed to be. To walk in respect and honor. This song came out of me today. So healing and so affirmative that my heart has been healed and prepared for what He has planned for me. Perfect love casts out all fear.

I'm not afraid for God to let you find me.
I'm not afraid of your gaze and your eyes to see me.
I'm not afraid to meet you, to tell you my name.
I'm not afraid to get to know you -all of who you are.
I'm not afraid to be greeted with a "Holy" kiss by your lips.
I'm not afraid to listen to your heart's desires.
I'm not afraid to bring comfort to you.
I'm not afraid to share my heart -the deepest places of it all.
I'm not afraid to share my secrets and dreams and hear yours too.
I'm not afraid to look you in the eyes and let you see my tenderness.
I'm not afraid to let you hold me and caress me.
I'm not afraid to let you fall in love with me.
I'm not afraid to walk with you in places I've never been.
I'm not afraid to show you my weaknesses.
I'm not afraid to sing to you. To discover everything of who I am.
I'm not afraid to let you hold my hand and let you lead.
I'm not afraid to let you cover and protect me -to let you be strong for me.
I'm not afraid to give you a reason to smile -to look for sweet ways to touch you.
I'm not afraid to be a soft place for you to land.
I'm not afraid to daily pray and do battle for you on my knees.
I'm not afraid to laugh with you and play.
I'm not afraid to embrace your family and friends and those whom you love.
I'm not afraid to impact the kingdom of God with you -to pour into and inspire others in Christ.
I'm not afraid to travel and go on adventures with you.
I'm not afraid to worship in spirit and in truth with you.
I'm not afraid to hear you speak into my life -to learn from you and be inspired to grow wise.
I'm not afraid to let you sweetly spoil me and to be your favorite one.
I'm not afraid to accept your weakness and to encourage your strengths.
I'm not afraid to love you for exactly who you are and who God made you to be.
I'm not afraid to share spiritual moments together -to get excited about what God is doing.
I'm not afraid to trust you with whats on or dear to my heart.
I'm not afraid to stand beside you. To build and to dream with you.
I'm not afraid to be your lover and give you my all.
I'm not afraid to give you respect and honor -to stick up for you and to protect your integrity.
I'm not afraid to keep learning and discovering with you.
I'm not afraid to encourage you when you have a bad day.
I'm not afraid to hear you whisper my name.
I'm not afraid to let you dry my tears and soothe my fears.
I'm not afraid to dance with you in the moonlight.
I'm not afraid to invest our blood, sweat and tears for what you believe and aspire to and dream.
I'm not afraid to learn how to be your best friend, your confidante, your safe place to trust.
I'm not afraid to build and achieve crazy dreams with you and to walk in faith for the impossible.
I'm not afraid to be a help mate to you -to find ways to bless you every day. I can't wait.
I'm not afraid to sing my love songs to you and with you -to make music together.
I'm not afraid to pray in my prayer language in front of you and simply be who I am.
I'm not afraid to let you put a ring on my hand for life -to walk by your side.
I'm not afraid to walk down the aisle toward you and say, "I do".
I'm not afraid to be faithful and loyal forever with you.
I'm not afraid.
Written by Jenny Williams,  A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013