She Can

I feel like I have been this caterpillar that has been hidden in dark places for a long time. It was a place of transformation, a place of change in my heart and life. God has been gently working on me. At times I felt like giving up because it was so dark, so lonely, and so confining. I wrestled with destiny and my dreams. I had to let go of relationships that were unhealthy or dead. I had to shed the false words and labels people put on me...people who were jealous or just misunderstood me. They couldn't understand my tears, my pain or frustrations. I felt so stuck. I felt so depressed and worried that my life was always going to be dark and lonely. In this dark space where I have been dwelling, I have been clinging to His word and promises, at times feeling so silly and awkward that I was proclaiming all these things that did not mirror my current situation, or feeling like I'm never going to be loved passionately again, and telling that devil "NO" -that this strange gal was worth anything to anyone. At night my head would be spinning, but Poppa God Himself would not let me give up on my dreams or what He promised. I wriggled out of my old broken, abandoned, and rejected self and I am now different. Some people can accept the new me -the one who is walking in the fulfillment and purpose God has for me. Others cheer me on. I had to let my ears fall and deafen to any sounds of negativity, of people who criticize and like to see me fail. I chose the positive Word of God over poison from the enemy. It's been a little cramped in this holding tank...this cocoon of transformation. I feel restless and I am starting to see my wings emerging. What is this? It's not familiar, but I feel stronger. I'm a bit scared, but I know it's time to fly and soar. These wings will take me places, new places, new doors, new connections, new lovely and pleasant places; and I can rest when I need to. I can move to where I need to go. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can scale walls. I can speak to mountains that are in front of me. I can step on the necks of my enemies. My fears, doubts, and disbelief...I can crush them under my feet. His peace is upon me. How lovely are the feet of those who bring good news. I am cherished. I am loved deeply. I am accepted. I am favored and I am blessed. She got her wings....and now she can fly. ~ Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2014

How To Displease Me

 

How To Displease Me

 My pet peeves are simple. These are things I seriously could go without in my life. Some of you might even agree with me on a few. They are in no paticular order.
1. Gossip: Don't even think about doing this in my presence. Any lady or gentleman knows better and does not speak ill of others nor do they entertain other people who do. Don't do this around me or I may say something to you. I do not tolerate gossip. Nothing good comes from it.
2. Not showing appreciation to those who serve you: Waiters, ushers, government workers, attendants, sales people...they have a tough job. Give them a smile, compliment them when they go out of their way. It's disrespectful to not give them a decent tip.
3. People who put labels on single mommas: Just because she's a single mom does not mean she sleeps around or is after your spouse. I have found christians to treat these women as outcasts. I've experienced this myself many times -even in church. Single moms have a rough road, and you don't know all the details that brought them to their status. Many of these women were abandoned or abused...all have been brokenhearted. Single moms are the '"Ruths" of this generation. Before you judge, walk in her shoes 24/7. What she really needs from you is love and acceptance. She needs help and hope.
4. Men who play games: Don't lie- not ever. Small lies are not okay with me. Being honest and saying how you feel is best. My heart is not a toy.
5. Rudeness: Please don't belch or pass gas in my presence. It's the hugest turn off ever. If one slips out- I understand but be polite about it. I am a lady.
6. Don't cuss in my presence. Don't use God's name in vain. This strongly offends me and grieves my heart.
7. Talking down to me in public or yelling at me in sarcastic tones: I won't do this to you either. It's disrespectful and dishonorable to do this to others.
8. Brown nylons -yuck. Margarine -gag. Only REAL butter will do. Fake sugar, artificial sweetener -so bad for you. Anything artificial is not a good idea.
9. Rude drivers: People's true colors come out when they drive. If you are one of these kinds of drivers, please don't have a fish symbol on the back of your bumper -you embarrass me.
10. Seeing others suffer: The homeless, animals who are hurting, children being neglected or abused, seeing someone cry and no one is offering to comfort them. If I could be a giant hug for everyone, I would. If you cry, I feel like crying. We must all do our part to help those who can't help themselves. Jesus was moved with compassion. May I never forget the fraility of a human heart. Love does more than any other action.
Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/ A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

The Process

The process of becoming a queen is different than that of a princess. The more the Lord entrusts us with, the more He requires of us. I feel like I have been hidden away in a secret place being prepared for something greater than my understanding can conceive of. It's funny that when I was a little girl I wanted to be Queen Esther for a costume party. Other kids were monsters, cartoon characters or super heroes. No one knew who I was, but I would blurt out, "I'm Queen Esther!" My life has been far from royalty. I have lived a hard life, but through it all, I think my destiny has been whispering through every heartache and every hardship. He's preparing me for the dream He wants to fulfill in me. The past several months have been a painful, but a necessary time of refinement. He won't let me ignore certain areas anymore. I felt such struggle and even disappointment in myself. I felt like nothing but "ugly" was coming out of me. I told the Lord I felt so ugly because my weaknesses were coming to the surface, but He spoke so clearly, "You asked me to make you more beautiful. This is what I am doing."  He has been washing off the residue of the pain and hurts I have endured from past relationships. The old labels and recordings of harsh words that were spoken over me. The abuse...and trauma. The best part of this process has been bathing in His sweet presence. There's nothing like spending time with the Holy Spirit. Singing to Him -worshiping at the feet of the King. His fragrance is what I want to smell like. <3  I want to savor it. These 21 days of fasting have been challenging. At times I failed miserably -especially during the week of having a persistent fever, but the moments I had with Him were amazing. I long for more. Whatever God is doing in you, don't be hard on yourself. You are lovely. There is "Greatness" in you. He is preparing you for the next season -for such a time as this. ~ Love, Jenny. A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013.  All rights reserved.

For Such A Time As This

  During this time of walking in the shoes of a "Ruth" I have felt so compelled by the Lord to embrace the refinement and requirement of excellence. I have always usually tried to do and be my best at everything I do, but now it's at another level. As I study the story of Ruth and ponder about her, I notice one very distinct thing: her heart and character. She was excellent in who she was. She was loyal and faithful. She was diligent. She did not let her sorrows ruin her. She did not let her past stop her from moving forward. Her love for Naomi and her simple trust in the God of her mother-in-law was so brave. Instead of seeking her own comfort, she comforted others. What a beautiful heart she had. Women in the Bible fascinate me. They inspire me. When I was a little girl I dreamed and admired the character of Esther, so much so that I chose to have my Momma dress me up like her at a costume party. Other kids were dressed like super heroes, monsters, cartoon characters, etc., but I wanted to be a queen. God's chosen one. Maybe my mindset is still like that little girl. I want to be a  woman of nobility. I want to be the favorite. The chosen one. The one who impacts the world around her. The one who makes a difference in other people's lives -a history maker. Embracing this process of being a Ruth has not been easy. I have even questioned God "why?"  Poppa God does not let me complain or grumble. He doesn't allow me to wallow in self pity over my circumstances of being a single momma. He whispers to my soul, "Daughter, let's go to high places." He expects my best in all I do. He expects my actions to be done in excellence. I think of Esther and the beauty treatments she went through as she prepared herself for that one night with the king. I feel like that -that He's bathing me in His presence. Washing away the grime and pain of the past. Leading me to soak in His loveliness and fragrance. This time of preparing for greatness means He requires greatness of me always. My attitudes and how I treat others, how I let go of offences, how I pray for those who hurt me, how I handle myself when I am around people who I don't  like, all of this is preparing me for the destiny He has for me. This is a special prayer I wrote a while back. I have shared it before but I find it to be fitting and useful:

My prayer: ( Lord, Make in me a heart of a Queen who captures a King)

Dear God, I pray for a heart of nobility like Queen Esther, who knew her purpose and the hour in which she lived, who knew how to touch the heart of a King.

I pray to be like Abigail, who understood how to show respect and build a man's confidence up with her words and actions. She was wise.

I pray to be like Deborah, who knew how to dance and praise You even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

I desire to be like Rachel, who had a servant's heart.

I long to be like the Shulamite woman, who was a great lover and the "Favorite One" of the King.

I desire character and perseverance like Hannah, who pursued what she longed for and did not give up.

I want to be like Ruth, who was faithful and loyal and was considered to be a noble woman who captivated the heart of a kinsman redeemer and received blessings.

I want to be found highly favored like Mary, whose calling impacted the entire world.

Make me and mould me to be a woman after your heart, oh God ...a woman of virtue, wisdom, and grace; a woman who walks in her destiny and purpose, a woman who is remembered long after I am gone, so that I will leave a lasting legacy. In Jesus' name, Amen ~  Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012, 2013 All rights reserved.