A song I wrote while taking a bath. It's my simple prayer and song for my future Boaz.
I want to wake up hearing him singing praises to You. I want to know he's in his secret place honoring You.
I want a man who loves me like You do.
I want to grow with him.... I want to sow with him. I want to sing with him. I want to pray with him. I want to worship with him. I want to give with him.
And when I lay my head down on his chest at night- I hear him praying to you. He's my favorite good night. His love for you, Holy Spirit inspires me to draw closer to You.
I want to serve with him. I want to dream with him. I want to play with him. I want to learn with him. I want to build with him. I want to love with him.
Wherever he goes I will follow ...because I know he follows after You. I want a man who loves me like You do.
This is my humbled prayer and spontaneous song I sang today while taking a bath. I normally don't write all my songs down...But I want to remember this one because maybe I'll sing it some day on my wedding day. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014 ~ A Modern Day Ruth
She is tired of her journey
She's weary of gathering sheaves
She knows she can't give up
She has to keep on going.
She doesn't see the end of the field she's in
Her tears falling down are as numerous as the sea of white grain.
She wonders if this is all there is to her life.
She doesn't want to lead, she wants to be led.
She doesn't want to have to be strong
She desires to crumble into safe caring arms.
Her hair is whipping at her face
She feels hot...sticky from the heat of her troubles
She feels unlovely and unkempt.
She is sure others can smell her pain
Just like the sweat trickling down her back.
She wants to run...run far away
But she knows others depend on her
She's screaming inside for help to make it another day.
Psalm 88:1
Lord, you are the God who saves me. Day and night Icryoutto you.
Psalms 130:1
Lord,Icryoutto you because I’m suffering so deeply.
Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014
When I share and write about A Modern Day Ruth, it's because I'm living it. At first, to be honest, I didn't want to be walking the role of a Ruth. I wanted the "happy" part -the part when a Boaz sweeps in and everything is "happy ever after," but I discovered that I had to embrace it, learn from it, walk in it, and teach it. This is my assignment until He says otherwise. I share the real, the raw, and sometimes the not so pretty parts about being a Ruth. Preparation is being established in our lives. Pain becomes our beauty when we let it transform us from the inside out. I have found a strength I never knew I had. Poppa God is there with us every step of the way. It's only when we look at our pain, suffering, and disappointments that we seem to not see Him; but I hear Him say, "Baby Girl...I'm with you, just trust Me." I was told by someone who didn't even know me that If I trust God, He would take me into the greatest season I have ever known. I am already seeing the beauty when I look at the lives of those around me who are encouraged. To God be the Glory! Our stories become testimonies of His faithfulness. Don't let this time convince you that there is no purpose or joy coming. It's His promise. Ruth's love story is an example of it. Written By Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014
As I am walking the road of living as A Modern Day Ruth I have learned to not just twiddle my thumbs and waste away waiting for my promised Boaz. I have embraced the process of gleaning wisdom and allowing Poppa God to heal my heart. He has been leading me to grow deeper in my faith and to go to higher places. I am not here just to get a man and to be loved. There is purpose and meaning to this season of my life. I walked through two years of being honest with myself and acknowledging the areas I could do better or needed real change. My self esteem was one of them. I never had the earthly Daddy I desired -one who would love me and have a relationship with me. I would have been a great Daddy's girl. My heart still aches from not ever having that, but I now know my worth and value are not based on this. I finally came to a place where I didn't have to have a date on a Friday night. I don't need a boyfriend to feel special or loved. I'm okay. This was huge for me to get to this point in the process. All the men in my life have disappointed and hurt me. I finally looked in the mirror and realized that I had to break the cycle of settling for less than what I deserved and needed as a daughter of God. No more men that beat me, abandon me, who don't provide for me, etc. I'm better than all that. I may be waiting for a Boaz who is wanting a Ruth. I had to ask God, "What do I need to do to prepare for him to come into my life?" Ruth in the Bible walked a long road of tears, pain and overcoming obstacles. She was faithful to her mother-in-law and to the Lord whom she embraced. She worked in the field she was assigned to...she gleaned. She worked in the hot sun to provide food for Naomi and herself. She was moving forward in life. She could have given up and gone back to what was easier and more familiar to her, but she didn't. This is how one of the greatest love stories ever known unfolded...she met her Boaz on the other side of that field. Suddenly her life of sorrows changed to life of joy and happiness. God gave her better than she had before. Her destiny came to pass. I know the special man that comes into my life will respect and appreciate the journey I have been on. He will see my strength and my faithfulness to God in the midst of great adversity. He will celebrate me with love and cover me. He will want to help make my days be brighter and wipe away those tears of heartache and frustration. God has someone for you. Just be patient and embrace the process. Don't forget: God restores what was lost. It may not be the way you are expecting, but it will always be better than before. Hang on, Beloved. Your sudden Boaz will come. Be ready for love again. Be ready to all that you can be to bless someone else. Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2014
To saying goodbye to everything and everyone who had broken her heart.
To forgiveness and not letting bitterness ruin her.
To not looking over her shoulder at memory lane, to not trying to bang down a door that's been purposefully shut, and to not wasting away her life waiting for someone to come back and love her.
To becoming wise, learning from her bad choices and mistakes.
To not letting men use her, abuse her, cheat on her, or treat her with less respect and care than what she deserves.
To letting go of fears and embracing "I can's".
To being herself and loving her smile, her heart, her spirit and her body -to knowing she's loveable.
To trusting God in all areas of her life.
To having huge and crazy dreams and not letting anyone talk her out of them.
To loving herself, taking care of her body, her mind, and soul.
To not letting the ashes, burnt up dreams, heartaches and disappointments destroy her or keep her from her God given destiny.
To smiling, laughing, being silly, having fun, being creative and letting each moment count.
To letting him know she can live without him, that her worth never is based on his perception of who she is.
To kissing that fool goodbye for the last time.
To being lovely, sparkly, shiny and vibrant.
To taking her tears and making them useful. She writes, she sings, she creates, and she wipes the tears of others, reminding them that God can heal their hearts too.
To allowing herself to be available to romantic love again but with higher standards. She's a daughter of God, after all.
To walking out and living in her God given purpose and destiny. To be being a Queen for such a time as this. Yes, she can do it.
To wearing the pretty shoes and walking in authority, stomping and crushing the enemies lies beneath her feet!
To dancing and going to high places.
To hanging out with winners, believers, overcomers and achievers; accepting healthy and inspiring people in her life, saying no to people who suck the joy and life out of what God has created to be beautiful and honor Him.
To growing, glowing, giving, sharing, and loving.
To expecting the good and beautiful and expecting blessing and favor to be in her life.
Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013 A Modern Day Ruth
To the "Ruths" who are waiting for a "Boaz" to walk into your life:
I remember the day my Mama and I went to a powerful church service at Jesus Pursuit Church in Albany. We we're both going through some painful and difficult times. My heart had been severely broken by my husband of 13 years who walked away from God and his family. The air was thick in the sanctuary. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet. The music was going, and I was lost in worship. This place felt safe. In my heart I leaned against Poppa God on a white horse. I call God Poppa. I have always wanted to be a Daddy's girl, but my real Dad couldn't be there for me. In His presence I felt like I was the only one. I spiritually felt bare and naked with my broken heart exposed, but felt so safe and so warm resting in His arms. After the music and message that were given, my Mama wanted me to go up front to the altar area to be prayed for. I felt shy and awkward about it, but at my Mama's request, I did. She's my hero in so many ways. Anything she asks of me I will do. I was prayed for and given a precious and memorable word. I was told by the prayer lady that God wanted me know it wasn't my fault and that Poppa loved me. He called me His favorite. And at that moment I felt like I truly was. God is so awesome how He does this. We truly are His favorite. Each one of us. After some time I went and kneeled at the altar and cried out to Him. I heard Him say so clearly- I'm sending you a "Boaz". I pondered what He said. I knew it was His voice. I've never really been interested much about the story of Ruth and Boaz. I went to Sunday School as a child and it was never my favorite story, but since then I have studied the book of Ruth. I've listened and gleaned from it and applied it to areas of my life. Have I bumped into my Boaz, Yet? No, but I have learned to be busy about my Father's business. Loving others and working in the fields that God has called me to. I have met so many "Ruths and Naomies" along the way of this healing journey. I have spent the last few years gleaning and sharing wisdom of what a godly woman and wife should be like. Sharing my own journey, being transparent with my readers, praying and standing in the gap for marriages. We have helped soothe some broken hearts. Poppa God has been faithful. I see so many strong women who have been hurt and disappointed; but their faith shines like the sun and I am so privileged and blessed to know them. The story of Ruth is about redemption. Poppa God covers us with His love and redeems us from our painful past. He celebrates us as the Bride of Christ. He provides for us single mamas and is a Husband when we need one. He is also a Father to the fatherless. He is all that we have need of. I've learned to let go of searching for the affections of a man, and to put my broken bleeding heart into the hands of the Almighty. There, I know it will always be protected and safe. I have come so far, and I feel so grateful that I'm no longer broken or dismayed. He has given me purpose -given me a message that burns on my heart to share. Keep trusting God, Keep walking in faith, and do what God has called you to -and when the time is right, your "Boaz" will see you from across the field. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/A Modern Day Ruth. Copyright 2013.
Every part of this song relates to me on this journey -being afraid, all the healing, all the times of trying to be brave, and now the waiting -which seems like I have waited a thousand years. I've been letting Poppa God cut off the dead things in my life that were no longer needed. I can't wait to tell this to someone someday: "Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years....I'll love you for a thousand more. All along I have believed that I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me for a thousand years...I will love you for a thousand more." I'm sure Ruth felt like this when she met her Boaz. Like she was finally "home" again. If I ever walk down that aisle, it just might have to be to this song...~ Written By Ms.Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth
To the "Ruths" who are waiting for a "Boaz" to walk into your life:
I remember the day my Mama and I went to a powerful church service at Jesus Pursuit Church in Albany. We were both going through some painful and difficult times. My heart had been severely broken by my husband of 13 years who had walked away from God and his family. The air was thick in the sanctuary. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet. The music was going, and I was lost in worship. This place felt safe. In my heart I leaned against Poppa God on a white horse. I call God Poppa. I have always wanted to be a Daddy's girl, but my real Dad couldn't be there for me. In His presence I felt like I was the only one. I spiritually felt bare and naked with my broken heart exposed, but felt so safe and so warm resting in His arms. After the music and message that were given, my Mama wanted me to go up front to the altar area to be prayed for. I felt shy and awkward about it, but at my Mama's request, I did. She's my hero in so many ways. Anything she asks of me I will do. I was prayed for and given a precious and memorable word. I was told by the prayer lady that God wanted me know it wasn't my fault and that Poppa loved me. He called me His favorite, and in that moment, I felt like I truly was. God is so awesome how He does this. We truly are His favorite. Each one of us. After some time, I went and kneeled at the altar and cried out to Him. I heard Him say so clearly- I'm sending you a "Boaz". I pondered what He said. I knew it was His voice. I've never really been interested much about the story of Ruth and Boaz. I went to Sunday School as a child and it was never my favorite story, but since then I have studied the book of Ruth. I've listened and gleaned from it and applied it to areas of my life. Have I bumped into my Boaz yet? No, but I have learned to be busy about my Father's business. Loving others and working in the fields that God has called me to. I have met so many "Ruths and Naomis" along the way of this healing journey. I have spent the last few years gleaning and sharing wisdom of what a godly woman and wife should be like. Sharing my own journey, being transparent with my readers, praying and standing in the gap for marriages. We have helped soothe some broken hearts. Poppa God has been faithful. I see so many strong women who have been hurt and disappointed, but their faith shines like the sun, and I am so privileged and blessed to know them. The story of Ruth is about redemption. Poppa God covers us with His love and redeems us from our painful past. He celebrates us as the Bride of Christ. He provides for us single mamas and is a Husband when we need one. He is also a Father to the fatherless. He is all that we have need of. I've learned to let go of searching for the affections of a man, and to put my broken bleeding heart into the hands of the Almighty. There, I know it will always be protected and safe. I have come so far, and I feel so grateful that I'm no longer broken or dismayed. He has given me purpose -given me a message that burns on my heart to share. Keep trusting God, Keep walking in faith, and do what God has called you to -and when the time is right, your "Boaz" will see you from across the field. Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Ruby Wives Copyright 2013
