The Process

The process of becoming a queen is different than that of a princess. The more the Lord entrusts us with, the more He requires of us. I feel like I have been hidden away in a secret place being prepared for something greater than my understanding can conceive of. It's funny that when I was a little girl I wanted to be Queen Esther for a costume party. Other kids were monsters, cartoon characters or super heroes. No one knew who I was, but I would blurt out, "I'm Queen Esther!" My life has been far from royalty. I have lived a hard life, but through it all, I think my destiny has been whispering through every heartache and every hardship. He's preparing me for the dream He wants to fulfill in me. The past several months have been a painful, but a necessary time of refinement. He won't let me ignore certain areas anymore. I felt such struggle and even disappointment in myself. I felt like nothing but "ugly" was coming out of me. I told the Lord I felt so ugly because my weaknesses were coming to the surface, but He spoke so clearly, "You asked me to make you more beautiful. This is what I am doing."  He has been washing off the residue of the pain and hurts I have endured from past relationships. The old labels and recordings of harsh words that were spoken over me. The abuse...and trauma. The best part of this process has been bathing in His sweet presence. There's nothing like spending time with the Holy Spirit. Singing to Him -worshiping at the feet of the King. His fragrance is what I want to smell like. <3  I want to savor it. These 21 days of fasting have been challenging. At times I failed miserably -especially during the week of having a persistent fever, but the moments I had with Him were amazing. I long for more. Whatever God is doing in you, don't be hard on yourself. You are lovely. There is "Greatness" in you. He is preparing you for the next season -for such a time as this. ~ Love, Jenny. A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013.  All rights reserved.

For Such A Time As This

  During this time of walking in the shoes of a "Ruth" I have felt so compelled by the Lord to embrace the refinement and requirement of excellence. I have always usually tried to do and be my best at everything I do, but now it's at another level. As I study the story of Ruth and ponder about her, I notice one very distinct thing: her heart and character. She was excellent in who she was. She was loyal and faithful. She was diligent. She did not let her sorrows ruin her. She did not let her past stop her from moving forward. Her love for Naomi and her simple trust in the God of her mother-in-law was so brave. Instead of seeking her own comfort, she comforted others. What a beautiful heart she had. Women in the Bible fascinate me. They inspire me. When I was a little girl I dreamed and admired the character of Esther, so much so that I chose to have my Momma dress me up like her at a costume party. Other kids were dressed like super heroes, monsters, cartoon characters, etc., but I wanted to be a queen. God's chosen one. Maybe my mindset is still like that little girl. I want to be a  woman of nobility. I want to be the favorite. The chosen one. The one who impacts the world around her. The one who makes a difference in other people's lives -a history maker. Embracing this process of being a Ruth has not been easy. I have even questioned God "why?"  Poppa God does not let me complain or grumble. He doesn't allow me to wallow in self pity over my circumstances of being a single momma. He whispers to my soul, "Daughter, let's go to high places." He expects my best in all I do. He expects my actions to be done in excellence. I think of Esther and the beauty treatments she went through as she prepared herself for that one night with the king. I feel like that -that He's bathing me in His presence. Washing away the grime and pain of the past. Leading me to soak in His loveliness and fragrance. This time of preparing for greatness means He requires greatness of me always. My attitudes and how I treat others, how I let go of offences, how I pray for those who hurt me, how I handle myself when I am around people who I don't  like, all of this is preparing me for the destiny He has for me. This is a special prayer I wrote a while back. I have shared it before but I find it to be fitting and useful:

My prayer: ( Lord, Make in me a heart of a Queen who captures a King)

Dear God, I pray for a heart of nobility like Queen Esther, who knew her purpose and the hour in which she lived, who knew how to touch the heart of a King.

I pray to be like Abigail, who understood how to show respect and build a man's confidence up with her words and actions. She was wise.

I pray to be like Deborah, who knew how to dance and praise You even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

I desire to be like Rachel, who had a servant's heart.

I long to be like the Shulamite woman, who was a great lover and the "Favorite One" of the King.

I desire character and perseverance like Hannah, who pursued what she longed for and did not give up.

I want to be like Ruth, who was faithful and loyal and was considered to be a noble woman who captivated the heart of a kinsman redeemer and received blessings.

I want to be found highly favored like Mary, whose calling impacted the entire world.

Make me and mould me to be a woman after your heart, oh God ...a woman of virtue, wisdom, and grace; a woman who walks in her destiny and purpose, a woman who is remembered long after I am gone, so that I will leave a lasting legacy. In Jesus' name, Amen ~  Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012, 2013 All rights reserved.