Ship Wrecked Heart

She's been sadder more days than happy and it's been a rough voyage on waters she never desired to sail in the first place. She felt her heart was ship wrecked and the waves of discouragement, struggle and hardship have been the waves thrashing her heart about. But she's clung to her anchor and held His hand in the midst of it all. She's found her safety on an island of His love. Her safe place has been underneath His wings. His light warms her up when she's cold from this disappointing world.
Written by Jenny Williams,
~ A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2015

She Became Whole

She laid her heart's desire on the altar. She poured out her tears and disappointments onto His feet.
She let go of her anger, unforgiveness, and bitterness. She lifted her shattered hopes and broken dreams up to Him. She gave her all to Him, and she trusted Him with her broken heart. She found herself rested and whole when she laid her rejected and abandoned self at the place of her safe haven. She was blind, but now she can see. She sees His love for her...so much more than... any human heart could give her. She saw her value and great worth in His eyes. such love...Great Love! She knew He died for her so that she may live...live in His glorious light. He gently touched her bruised and battered self esteem. He washed with His own tears the shards of glass...the unkind words that others had spoken against her. He washed them away. His words of love penetrated her soul, and she became whole. He held her quietly as she cried each tear of sorrow and pain. He stood with her in the lake of her tears, and he held her and kept her safe. His gaze caught her focus, and she found herself immersed in His love. He clothed her nakedness with His garment of grace. It warmed her soul. All her wretchedness was diminished in the great light of His love. She looked down and He pointed to the lake of tears she had cried: "Look..."He said, "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!" She saw her reflection on the water, and to her surprise, there was no trace of her torn, bloodied, and worn out garments. Her pain had become a great strength. Her ashes had become His beauty. Her darkness had become His illuminating light. she saw herself as He saw her. She smiled, and leaned in close to His chest. She knew everything was going to be alright. Her heart was home. ~ Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2015

She Desires...

 

 

 

I desire to be...

Understood...
Accepted...
Favored...
Cherished......
Treasured...
Preserved...
Protected...
Covered...
Redeemed...
Desired...
Lavished...
Honored...
Discovered...
Explored...
Valued...
Ravished...
Needed...
Wanted...
Blessed...
Loved.
~Jenny Williams,
A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2014

Prophetic Word For My Sister

You are beautiful...Your beauty is emerging in a deeper and more intimate level with Poppa God. You will carry a garden of His fragrance for others to savor and smell. You will walk in greatness like never before and go to greater heights. Your steps will be confident. You will know your royal authority and use it well. Your ministry will prosper and bring forth much fruit in due season. He will honor you with a new position and new shoes to wear. New dreams will be birthed out of you that you never could imagine could from you. Your obedience in difficult season will be honored by the King who loves you and has called you for such a time as this. marriages and Ministries will be impacted in ways you know not. You may have been feeling hidden for much of the time but you will bust out like a butterfly and soar. The enemy's plans and lies spoken over you will be snuffed out....because your confidence will be found in Christ alone and His word. Don't limit yourself...But believe. Greater things are yet to come. Prophetic word (9/9/2014) Love, jenny Williams Copyright 2014

She Smiles Anyway

She wakes up every morning
Praying for strength for another day
She grabs some coffee and pours some hazelnut creamer
and  swallows a "sigh"
And she smiles anyway.

She starts to sing another hallelujah song
In her kitchen her lullabies become her prayers
She opens the window just to catch a summer breeze
She's hoping and praying
He hears her singing.
And she smiles anyway.

She's the one giving encouragement
and showing others she cares
but deep inside she's needing it too
She wishes she had another hand
to help with burdens she bears.
But she smiles anyway.

She sometimes goes without meals
so her three girls can eat
She's hungry often
She dreams of chocolate and juicy meat.
but she smiles anyway.

She hears a country song on the radio
She sees couples smiling and laughing
She thinks to herself-
"I'm so tired...I've been alone for too long."
She doesn't want to be the man anymore
She doesn't want to have to be so strong.

She smiles anyway...
and hopes for brighter days.
She lights scented candles
and hugs her kitty real tight
she snuggles with her baby girls
and kisses them goodnight

The house is eerily silent, she's up real late
She's tired of the fight
she's crying out for a mate
her arms are aching to be held.
She reminds Him of His promise
Where is he? The Boaz she will meet?

She silently prays in the wee hours of the night
her pillow is soaked by the numerous tears she's cried
But she smiles anyway...
It's what's holding her together and keeping her hanging on.


"Momma, I need money for the high school dance"
"I need braces and I accidentally broke my glasses again.
My shoes don't fit
I'm hungry, Momma
She hears them
and she just smiles again.

She gets down on her knees
the bill is weighing heavy, she cries
She clenches her bottle of oil
and prays silently
"You gotta help me, Lord tonight."
She barely can, but she smiles anyway.

She goes to church in her Sunday best
She sits alone and bravely she's smiling again.
She sees a wife rub her husband's back
She thinks to herself, "I wish I could do that again."
The sermon is good and she holds on to every word.
People smile and greet her and she doesn't say much
because she knows they expect her to say, "I'm fine."

She sees families and babies running around
She hears laughter and chatter
And she feels like her emotions are trying to make
her drown.
And she smiles anyway...
'cause she doesn't want them to see her cry.
It was so long ago that he left...
I know they expect her to move on.

She walks out of her church
and looks up into the bright blue sky
Oh how she wishes things were different
She wishes she could float away like a cloud from her life.

So she closes her eyes...
dreams...and smiles anyway..
because maybe one time her smile
will make it all go away..

~ Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth,  Copyright 2014

She Was Free

 

 

She realized her heart would not be healed until she let go completely what she held so tight to. It felt so unnatural to let go of the man she loved so much. But she realized he did not love her and he was long gone. She was grabbing mere shadows of memories. There was nothing left but to trust God. That He had a different plan...a better one. God never restores less than better than before- this... I know. She could not imagine her life or heart loving any other. But loving memories wasn't going to sustain her or even love her back. She knew it was time to let go. Let go of the once sweet moments that made her feel so good....she had to let go hoping to be back in those few moments. A voice kept whispering to her heart...."Love is in front of you...never behind you." She fell to her knees and wept. And once and for all let go. She knew that once she got up off her floor there was no more trying to love the dead. There was no more looking over her shoulder to yesterdays...She was free. She put one foot in front of the other and finally began to trust God. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014 ~ A Modern Day Ruth

Wisdom I learned as a "Ruth"

If you are trying so hard to get his attention...He's not the one. Boaz noticed her without her even trying.

There's wisdom during this season that you should discover and treasure. God brings His best treasures during your greatest adversities.

The faster you learn... the easier it is to work the field you are in.

Humility seems to be a character trait a Ruth must acquire. It's hard and I'm learning this. My circumstances are humble. No way to hide that but continue pressing on.

If he's noticed you, he will let you know. Boaz summoned his workers to find out about her.  He spoke to her and offered her a place at his table.

We feel lonely, but we are not alone. Notice the other women working in the field? They are in your same situation... just different details.

A Boaz requires higher standards than common men do. I must be an uncommon woman if I am going qualify to be somebody's Ruth.

Giving to others and encouraging others helps lessen my pain. Ruth was known in her community as a good woman who was unselfish. I hope that is how people see me.

I have to step into unfamiliar fields. I have to speak to people I don't know. I have to be brave. It's scary sometimes.

If your Boaz shows true interest, be brave enough to reach back.
I hope I can do this. I am sometimes shy. Also, it feels risky to possibly be rejected. But if Ruth didn't reach for Boaz, her story wouldn't have changed and we wouldn't have known about her legacy.

Some days seem really hard. I have to refocus when my pain is fogging up my hope or vision. Take a bubble bath, play some music, eat a piece of chocolate, spend alone time with Poppa God.

Appreciate the little things and the beauty in each moment or you will completely lose any joy you do have.
Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014

A Ruth's Song

 

 

 

 

A song I wrote while taking a bath. It's my simple prayer and song for my future Boaz.

 

I want to wake up hearing him singing praises to You.
I want to know he's in his secret place honoring You.

I want a man who loves me like You do.

I want to grow with him....
I want to sow with him.
I want to sing with him.
I want to pray with him.
I want to worship with him.
I want to give with him.

And when I lay my head down on his chest at night- I hear him praying to you. He's my favorite good night. His love for you, Holy Spirit inspires me to draw closer to You.

I want to serve with him.
I want to dream with him.
I want to play with him.
I want to learn with him.
I want to build with him.
I want to love with him.

Wherever he goes I will follow ...because I know he follows after You.
I want a man who loves me like You do.

This is my humbled prayer and spontaneous song I sang today while taking a bath. I normally don't write all my songs down...But I want to remember this one because maybe I'll sing it some day on my wedding day. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014 ~ A Modern Day Ruth

— with Jenny Williams.

Gathering Sheaves

She is tired of her journey
She's weary of gathering sheaves
She knows she can't give up
She has to keep on going.
She doesn't see the end of the field she's in
Her tears falling down are as numerous as the sea of white grain.
She wonders if this is all there is to her life.
She doesn't want to lead, she wants to be led.
She doesn't want to have to be strong
She desires to crumble into safe caring arms.
Her hair is whipping at her face
She feels hot...sticky from the heat of her troubles
She feels unlovely and unkempt.
She is sure others can smell her pain
Just like the sweat trickling down her back.
She wants to run...run far away
But she knows others depend on her
She's screaming inside for help to make it another day.

Psalm 88:1

Lord, you are the God who saves me. Day and night I cry out to you.

Psalms 130:1

 Lord, I cry out to you because I’m suffering so deeply.

Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth,  Copyright 2014

Heart of a Queen

Dear Poppa God, I pray for a heart of nobility like Queen Esther, who knew her purpose, the hour she lived in, and how to touch the heart of a King. I pray to be like Abigail, who understood how to show respect and build a man's confidence up with her words and actions. She was wise. I pray to be like Deborah, who knew how to dance and praise you even in the midst of difficult circumstances. I desire to be like Rachel, who had a servant's heart. I long to be like the Shulamite woman, who was a great lover and the "favorite" of the King. I desire character and perseverance like Hannah, who pursued what she longed for and did not give up. I want to be like Ruth, who was faithful and loyal and considered a noble woman who captivated the heart of a kinsmen redeemer and received blessings. I want to be found highly favored like Mary, whose calling impacted the entire world. Make me and mold me to be a woman after your heart Oh, God...a woman of virtue, wisdom, and grace; a woman who walks in her destiny and purpose, a woman who is remembered long after I am gone -that I leave a lasting legacy. In Jesus' name, Amen  ~ Love, Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012, 2013

From Me To You

When I share and write about A Modern Day Ruth, it's because I'm living it. At first, to be honest, I didn't want to be walking the role of a Ruth. I wanted the "happy" part -the part when a Boaz sweeps in and everything is "happy ever after," but I discovered that I had to embrace it, learn from it, walk in it, and teach it. This is my assignment until He says otherwise. I share the real, the raw, and sometimes the not so pretty parts about being a Ruth. Preparation is being established in our lives. Pain becomes our beauty when we let it transform us from the inside out. I have found a strength I never knew I had. Poppa God is there with us every step of the way. It's only when we look at our pain, suffering, and disappointments that we seem to not see Him; but I hear Him say, "Baby Girl...I'm with you, just trust Me." I was told by someone who didn't even know me that If I trust God, He would take me into the greatest season I have ever known. I am already seeing the beauty when I look at the lives of those around me who are encouraged. To God be the Glory! Our stories become testimonies of His faithfulness. Don't let this time convince you that there is no purpose or joy coming. It's His promise. Ruth's love story is an example of it. Written By Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014

Sweet Surrender

She didn't know what to do with the abandoned love she still felt. She prayed and waited silently. Days and weeks went by with tears soaking her pillow at night -clenched fists in moments of sobbing. She thought she could never go on without him. On her knees she prayed and fasted. She barely slept or ate. She never loved a man so much as him. She never gave her whole heart away to anyone like that before. The truck sat in the driveway. It never went anywhere, because he was already gone. She slept with his t-shirt, hoping his scent would mean he was still real...still there. She never knew how much of her was missing. She didn't know how she would ever heal. She was glad for the struggle of competing with other women to be over. She couldn't believe she let herself get so low just trying to love him. She couldn't understand why she wasn't enough for him to stay. The relief of not being played like a game anymore was the only burden lifted off her chest. She prayed and hoped day after day that he would come back again, because she could not imagine anything but those sweet yesterdays; but she finally got strong enough to clear her head from the pain that fogged her reasoning. 

She realized it was time to lay this love she had upon the altar of the Lord. She sobbed like waves of the ocean. The pain was so surreal. She laid her love for him on the altar. She knew it was time for her to leave. She knew she could not stay, because if she stayed where things were dead, she would slowly die too. Her strength was held up by the angels as she began to take a little step forward every day. She knew she deserved a whole lot better: to be loved, to be cherished, and protected in every way. Her wounded heart was fragile. People judged and didn't know what was going on inside. She had to close her ears to voices that tried to pull her back into the dark. He had promised her fake forevers. She would naively believe, but they were just empty words with no meaning. She promised him forever but that wasn't good enough. She knew she had to guard and protect what little of herself she still had. 

She clung to her faith that she knew. She silently cried out His name -some moments were so surreal, but she got through it with Poppa God holding her all the way. She let the love of her Father come in gently and heal the layers of her heart. Sometimes a memory of his voice or the smell of him would drift in to taunt her, but she stopped turning her head back to what was no longer there. She reasoned and told herself, "Memories can't kiss me or hold me." Sometimes she still feels her heart longing to love him again, but she knows he's been dead to her for far too long. She no longer will be peering over a grave. She has become something beautiful, because Poppa's presence has been so near. She knows that she is lovely. She knows she can trust Him with her heart. She spends time in her secret place. She hears His voice calling her name. He is the lover of her soul, and she is patiently waiting. She knows she's stronger when she leans on His everlasting arms. She's beautiful. She's lovely, and she's stronger and wiser than ever before. She is going to live, love, and laugh much. She's doing good...I know, because this woman is me. ~ A Modern Day Ruth
Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014

Her Afternoon Love Song

You are precious to me...Holy Spirit.

You are precious to me...Like the afternoon sun on a lake, shining.

Like the sunset of colors...You seduce me with Your love.

Nothing on this earth could compare or satisfy.

I'm intoxicated by your loveliness. Your fragrance is sweet to me.

You have stamped your name on my fragile heart

Pouring Your wax over me and sealing your love song within.

I never knew I could ever be so this in love.

You have captivated me with Your holy fire.

You have captured me by Your goodness and mercy.

You are precious to me...Holy Spirit.

You are precious to me...Like thousands of glimmering diamonds.

Your brilliance blinds me...You take me away with Your love.

Jesus, Lover of my soul. Nothing else satisfies like You. <3

~ Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth, Copyright 2014

So Tired

There are days when I feel stretched beyond what I want to be. My struggles have been miles too long, and hard to smile through. I don't want your sympathy, but maybe just a little bit of understanding. 

I feel tired of this journey -of being strong, of making sure to not lose it, but maybe that's just what I need to do -to let it out. A sob has been knocking on my throat. It's been wanting to escape for quite some time. I know Poppa God has been revealing Himself through these difficult and trustworthy days. My mind wants to wander and dream of brighter days. If I could just flutter away to some place pleasant and carefree, like a butterfly landing a sweet fragrant rose. 

Strength is never gained without pushing past one's normal point of trying. Muscles are toned by going one push further than your "possible" ...so is my growing faith. It's going past what I can see or feel in the natural. I know I'll be alright, but in this tiring moment, I just want to exhale away all my pain, fatigue, and the need to carry the cares of my sweet kids and me. 

I don't want to be the man anymore. I want to be taken care of, and I just want to be held.
No words need be spoken -just a warm embrace that won't judge or ask anything of me. 

Oh, that someone will see me out of my beautiful mess ...with acceptance and complete assurance, "I'm not leaving you, ever. I'm not going to hurt you or desert you." Maybe a gentle, smiling eye that reads, "I see your journey, your strength, and your pain...and I find you even more beautiful because of it." ~ A Modern Day Ruth, Jenny Williams Copyright 2014

He Walked Away: How To Overcome Heartache

                                                                                               Previously Written and posted April 2013

I kept waiting night after night for his truck to pull into the driveway. I slept in his t-shirt just to keep his scent near me. My days were blurred in a thick foggy haze. I barely slept, I barely ate, I lost the desire to live. I was truly heartsick. I can still remember my teenage son's voice saying, "Mama...don't you think it's time you slept upstairs in your bed again?" I felt so lost. I told myself he would come back; that somehow his truck had broken down and that he wasn't able to call. I tried to reason with my heart that he wasn't really gone; that he would be back. I was completely heartsick. I never really fully understood what the words meant when someone said their heart was broken. Oh, the sure pain of it -now...so surreal. I don't take those words for granted anymore. I have learned to pray, comfort, listen and hold someone's hand when they say those words. I am so eternally grateful for Poppa God walking me through that difficult time in my life. He truly healed that shattered broken heart, and then He gave me a purpose -even a rare beauty out of what was meant to destroy me. It's been several years now and those memories have faded, but I have not forgotten. What should you do when your heart is broken? Here are some things that helped me through that painful season:

* If someone has left you, don't beg and plead for them to stay or come back. The best advice my grandmother gave me was: "If a man wants to walk, let him walk."  Begging, pleading, crying, manipulating, or pining for them to stay will only prolong your pain and suffering and that of your children. If someone wants to stay they will do it out of their own free will. You can't force someone to love you or to be faithful to you. Love is a choice, so let them choose. I know it hurts. I know you can't imagine your life without them, but you have to let them decide on their own.

* Decide and determine in your heart that you will hold onto God no matter what. It's not His fault that a human you loved disappointed you. Cling to His promise that He will never leave you or forsake you. Cry out to Him. Pray. Choose to read His word, stay in church. Even if you feel like your world is falling apart remember that you are in the palm of His hand and He will carry you. He is closer than a brother and a friend at all times. Let Him hold you and comfort you. He can handle your pain and your tears. Life may not make sense right now but life will get better again. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy will come in the morning.

* Reach out to someone you can trust; a prayer partner, a best friend, a pastor or mentor. Let them know what's going on. A true friend will care and be there for you during difficult times. Don't allow the lies of the enemy to tell you that you have to go through this alone. You need help during this time and it's okay to admit that. Ask others to pray for your strength, peace of mind, healing in your heart to take place.

* Remember to take care of your body. When you go through heartache your overwhelming feelings invade you and you may forget to eat. Your appetite may be completely gone. Choose to at least eat some protein and drink water daily to keep yourself  hydrated.

* Choose to live life. You probably want to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing. Force yourself to get up and get out of the house. Go for walks, see a movie with a friend, grab coffee and read the Word. I know it feels like your life is void and empty, but whatever you do, do not stop living. If you were happy before this person came into your life, you can be happy again without them. It will just take time.

* In the moments when you are completely overwhelmed by the grief and surges of feelings, have a friend you can call or text so they can pray for you. Sometimes the pain in your heart will feel like a sneaker tidal wave. You may feel completely like your drowning, but imagine yourself holding onto God's hand. He is right beside you and He will not let you be consumed. He is your anchor during the storm. Allow yourself to feel the pain and remind yourself that these feelings are temporary and they will pass. Breathe.

* Take time to reflect. You can't do a thing about the person who broke your heart, but you can reflect and think about what you could do differently. Listen to God's voice and be honest with yourself. It's a healthy approach to admit your mistakes and to glean wisdom from them. Ask God to show you what was unhealthy about the relationship. The truth sets us free. Don't beat yourself up though and do not condemn yourself. Don't blame yourself for everything either. It takes two people to have a relationship. Everyone has something they can do better and things to work on.

* Determine in your heart that you will forgive the person who hurt you. It doesn't mean you don't feel the pain anymore. It doesn't mean you are letting them off the hook -it means letting God deal with them. It means that you choose to walk in God's love. He can deal with people's hearts better than we can ourselves. I know it hurts. I know you're angry. I know you feel betrayed. It's okay to feel these feelings, but make the decision to forgive them. Ask God to help you in this. God can handle your feelings. Forgiveness is not a feeling but a decision.

* Do not choose to date or get involved in another romantic relationship until a lengthy time has passed. It's the worst mistake you can make. To start dating while your heart is broken is like walking around with a broken foot on novocaine. When the numbness wears off you will hurt even more. The damage will be greater. A second heartache is worse than first. Trust me -I know. Just because you feel better does not mean you are completely healed and ready for a relationship. Healing of a broken heart takes time. It's a process. God is a gentlemen and He heals our hearts one layer at a time, like an onion. Do yourself and the other person a favor -guard your heart. Get healthy first.

* Do special things for you. You are worth it. Go for walks, exercise, get a pedicure. Pamper yourself. Pamper a girlfriend. Do something kind for a neighbor. Do things that are stress relieving. Comfort yourself by surrounding yourself with good people and good atmosphere. Buy candles. Try a new hobby. Join a choir. Do it for you.

* Remember that tears are part of the process. It doesn't mean you are going backwards. A memory, a song or a smell might trigger feelings of the person who left you. Allow yourself to feel the pain and then move forward. Tears are cleansing, they're part of how God designed us to heal. He cares about you and the tears that fall on your pillow at night. So much that He actually records them in heaven.

* Avoid seeking comfort from places and things that will only temporarily numb your pain. Stay away from alcohol, drugs, sex outside of marriage, online dating services, or people who are a bad influence. All these things may feel good for a while, but your life will end up in destruction. Seek comfort from Jesus, His word, your friends, church, etc. Anything that is good, pure, lovely -think on those things.

* Know and remember that your pain and broken relationship are not your identity. You are lovable. You are a child of God. Nothing you can do can separate you from His unfailing love for you. He loves you right where you're at. Your mess is not who you are. Just because someone stopped loving you does not mean that you are unlovable. That is a huge lie of the enemy to try to destroy your confidence and self esteem.

Praying for you, Dear one. God is with you in this season. Love will bloom again on the branches of your heart. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share for encouragement purposes. All scriptures are taken from the  NIV Bible Version.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

 Hebrews 13:5

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Psalm 51:17

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

Simply Me

She's not perfect but she tries. She dreams bigger than her reach. She laughs at herself and her silly ways. When nobody is watching she dances in her kitchen to music and praise. She breathes sea air and squishes her toes on a sandy beaches. Singing to Poppa God in a bubble bath is her favorite thing. Sunsets make her grateful. She's true country in her blood and her faith is found with deep unrelenting roots. She feels pretty in her lace Sunday dress and wears her aqua boots. Coffee is her sane addiction. Chocolate is her pleasure along with good meaningful conversation. She fights for what she believes in...she's a pajama wearing prayer warrior. She's loyal to those she holds dear. Music is like blood flowing in her veins. She writes, sings, creates and her brain is always inspired. She loves to talk to all of God's little creatures...they are her friends. She loves satin ribbons and things that sparkle and glimmer. Her feet love pretty shoes and pedicures. She's been a beautiful mess but she is blessed. She's a proud momma and always will be. She's had broken wings, but now she soars to greater heights; and the wind of the Holy Spirit causes her to fly in heavenly places. She is...a daughter of the Great King. She's simply me. ~ Jenny Williams, Copyright 2014

What I Wish I could Say To My Stalker

Stalker situations are so frustrating. I wish this woman would see the her own worth and value in Christ and choose to present and write her own authentic words and messages instead of trying to carbon copy my own personal testimony and life. It's fine to learn from others; to be mentored and to glean wisdom from them, but it's a not-so-fine line you have crossed when you start using their personal life and successes and try to make them known as your own.

Dear Sister in Christ -a few words I want to say to you, dear: Value yourself and take pride in what you do. God made you unique. He placed your own message within you. Trying to carbon copy another person is insulting not only to that person, but to the Creator. Love yourself. Love the personal and REAL message God has placed within you, then your message will be honest and authentic. Your own style, photos, writings and message are enough, you don't need to use mine.

You want to grow and be successful, but you are going about it the wrong way. Don't use my original writings without proper acknowledgement. It's unethical and wrong to steal and use someone's writings without honoring or acknowledging the name of the author.  This should be a primary rule and known etiquette as a Christian writer. You should learn and follow this principle. Also, if you desire to permanently use my paragraphs or descriptions from my pages and other social media content or websites, it's proper to ask first. Stealing someone's writings and personal comments is still stealing even if you just change a few words to try and make it your own. It's called plagiarism and it's breaking the law. Also stalking a person on the internet is called cyber stalking....This too is breaking the law. I just thought you should know. 

By the way, you can never carbon copy me completely. I am a one of a kind woman, fashioned from Poppa God. My anointing is from Him. Accept and love yourself. Be who God intended you to be. You do not need ride on the hem of my robe to be successful. It's flattering that you admire me, but if you're going to be unethical and steal my identity and original writings, I can't help you, and neither can God bless you to the fullest in your own ministry. Mentoring is a privilege earned when you respect the one who is teaching. Honor God and others....HONOR is the key piece of wisdom. I believe in you. I believe that you can turn this around and use this as a valuable lesson. Hurting others to advance yourself is really not going to get you where you need to go. I love you and I'm praying for you and I ask that you please stop using my property without permission, and especially cease using my personal details and life story and pretending they're your own.  It's creepy and disturbing. Please be yourself.
If you do not stop using my personal comments, photos, articles, and anything of mine that I have written or posted on any of my pages or websites- Including any social network posts of mine- I will have to expose your name and ministry. I feel its wrong to mislead others using a false persona...You are harming others in doing so. Truth will catch up with you.

Sincerely and unapologetically, Me- Jenny ( RW Ministries  Copyright 2014 )  A Modern Day Ruth and Ruby Wives

Sincerely, Me

In The Pouring Rain

I woke up to feeling sad and broken. Healing must be on an unknown time schedule. Yesterday was "the" anniversary, and I was caught off guard with memories that knocked on my heart. I wasn't prepared. I handled it as best as I could and smiled through the evening, but inside I wanted to cry. A man and his wife were sitting at a table next to me. He left for about 15 minutes and came back. He carried the strong scent of cigarettes- the brand "he" smoked. It taunted me. It smelled like him. I had no place to escape to. It was as though all of a sudden I was standing in the pouring rain with no umbrella. I had no shelter, just the cold memories soaking through to my skin. I really loved him. I adored him. Thank God that sudden showers are short-lived. I guess the sad realization is that there will always be a love for him, no matter what I do. I'm not giving in to it, though. I don't live to wait for someone who refuses to love me back. I remind myself that it was just a storm, and the sun will come out again. I am shivering cold, so... Poppa God, hold me, and keep me safe and warm. ~ Written by Jenny Williams,  A Modern Day Ruth   Copyright 2014

She Can

I feel like I have been this caterpillar that has been hidden in dark places for a long time. It was a place of transformation, a place of change in my heart and life. God has been gently working on me. At times I felt like giving up because it was so dark, so lonely, and so confining. I wrestled with destiny and my dreams. I had to let go of relationships that were unhealthy or dead. I had to shed the false words and labels people put on me...people who were jealous or just misunderstood me. They couldn't understand my tears, my pain or frustrations. I felt so stuck. I felt so depressed and worried that my life was always going to be dark and lonely. In this dark space where I have been dwelling, I have been clinging to His word and promises, at times feeling so silly and awkward that I was proclaiming all these things that did not mirror my current situation, or feeling like I'm never going to be loved passionately again, and telling that devil "NO" -that this strange gal was worth anything to anyone. At night my head would be spinning, but Poppa God Himself would not let me give up on my dreams or what He promised. I wriggled out of my old broken, abandoned, and rejected self and I am now different. Some people can accept the new me -the one who is walking in the fulfillment and purpose God has for me. Others cheer me on. I had to let my ears fall and deafen to any sounds of negativity, of people who criticize and like to see me fail. I chose the positive Word of God over poison from the enemy. It's been a little cramped in this holding tank...this cocoon of transformation. I feel restless and I am starting to see my wings emerging. What is this? It's not familiar, but I feel stronger. I'm a bit scared, but I know it's time to fly and soar. These wings will take me places, new places, new doors, new connections, new lovely and pleasant places; and I can rest when I need to. I can move to where I need to go. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can scale walls. I can speak to mountains that are in front of me. I can step on the necks of my enemies. My fears, doubts, and disbelief...I can crush them under my feet. His peace is upon me. How lovely are the feet of those who bring good news. I am cherished. I am loved deeply. I am accepted. I am favored and I am blessed. She got her wings....and now she can fly. ~ Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2014

Crazy Woman Who keeps On Moving

I am in the weirdest and quirkiest mood. I feel like eating organic chocolate with sea salt and dark baby leaf salad with balsamic dressing. I want to wear long knee-high socks and boxers and to paint on a huge canvas -rich deep colors of purple, magenta, plum, and turquoise...drink a glass of fireside vino...listen to Jeremy Riddle worship music. Maybe it's the delirium of the last 4 days. A physical fight that turned into a dual battle for my mind and faith. Being a Ruth on most days is not fun, but I have found victories are beautiful and so worth it. We wear them proudly on our soul. They remind us of God's faithfulness. I see these victories like shining ornaments or glittering badges. They are sewn onto us for eternity. They are the glimmering shining hope and constant reminder to the enemy of who we belong to and what God has brought us through. They remind the enemy of his failures. I fought pain for 4 days straight. Strong indescribable writhing...unrelenting pain. Morphine and Vicodin were not much as swords of men to fight this dragon that kept breathing it's venomous smoke of doubt that this pain would ever end.  If the enemy has my mind, he begins to get headway, but thank God there's always a strategy. There's always hope. There is always a name and a savior I can call upon between melt downs of tears. Friends were praying, and I even though I felt too weak to pray I knew it worked because I woke up this morning and was able to face this dragon and snuff out it's smoke. Is my pain gone? No. Is my life all better? No, but this battle was won. I conquered this one by the confession of my mouth and by speaking out loud the truth of who I am as a daughter of the Most High; and though I feel bloodied, tired and worn out, there's one more shiny reminder on my gown -a memorial to remind me of the victory I have in Christ Jesus. Life has battles, but we have the promised victory because Christ lives in us ....the hope of GLORY.  Written by this humbled but victorious woman- Jenny Williams Copyright 2014  A Modern Day Ruth

Philippians 3:12 NIV

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 NIV

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.