Friday, June 26, 2015

Her Story

I don't see myself as a victim.
Victims don't get past their pain, they remain in it.
I know because I was one...I was stuck in my pain like being caught in a briar bush with long thorns ripping my heart again and again. I tried to heal my heart on my own and failed. But I am here to testify of God's amazing love and what He did for me personally!

I am an overcomer from:

Domestic violence: Being beaten, choked, thrown against walls, objects thrown at me, battling over a loaded gun, and threatened with my life...BUT GOD!

Verbal and mental abuse: Being told no man would ever love me, that I'm a not a good person, and many awful words that were far worse than the physical blows...BUT GOD! 

Control and manipulation: I wasn't allowed to have friends or communicate with my mother. I was held captive and not allowed to be myself or have any freedom. I was controlled in what I wore, not allowed to have access to money, not allowed to have friends without being punished...BUT GOD. 

Sexual Abuse: Forced to do things against my will...and so much more...BUT GOD.

Abandonment: Grew up with a Daddy that ignored me and didn't participate in my life. A husband of nearly 13 years who left me because he couldn't handle me being sick with a chronic pain condition. Opening up my heart again to a guy who I loved more than any man I ever loved, and then left me for another woman. I suffered rejection that nearly took my life...BUT GOD. 

A broken heart that was beating but was still bleeding: I tried alcohol, dating many guys, shopping, and anything that would numb my severely shattered heart, but could not find relief. I cried myself to sleep almost every night for three years...BUT GOD! 

I once was a victim of these things, but Christ set me free, and there was no condemnation or judgment like the people at church who are in love with religion more than having a relationship with Jesus, or others who were not walking in my shoes. Religion didn't relieve my pain! Jesus did!  In encountering His unconditional love, He healed me. His arms, they sustained me. His waterfalls of grace, they washed me. His love came down and rescued me. His love set me free. I AM an overcomer because of Him. If it weren't for JESUS. I honestly would not be here today, and because of Him, I now help and encourage others to encounter His love too. He is the healer of broken hearts and He is the redeemer of past debts. He is the key that unlocks our chains. It is for freedom that Christ sets us free. He came to not condemn those who are lost, broken, lonely, confused, or forgotten...the ones who are prisoners in their own filth and shame. He came for those who need him. He loved me at my bloodiest, ugliest, and right in my deepest darkness. I cried out to Him when I had no hope and He answered me. This is my testimony!  What is yours?  ~  Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2015

4 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. It's such an encouragement.

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  2. Thank you so much for sharing this. It's such an encouragement.

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  3. I have a similar story...Except God gives me dreams. I'm on my way out of the abuse, I'm waiting on my divorce to be final but God has had his hands in my life since I met my husband. He's shown me a wedding dress that I walked away from and another wedding dress that I woke up describing as "far more beautiful". Then he showed me standing in a room beside a man who *looked* like my husband, but it didn't feel like him/it wasn't the same person. He's gotten me out from under being choked out and called names and I know that He is growing me and who I am so that I can also meet my kinsmen redeemer. I will not date or be with anyone who is not what God wants me to have. I am lucky. I asked (3 years ago) for God to protect my heart and mind from the situation I was in. I believe He did because I'm not bitter. I don't hate and I pray that this situation will save his soul...though I have been shown that it won't. He (My ex) is different in a bad way.

    Thank you Lord for rescuing me. And thank you Lord for Jenny, for she has been an encouragement to me for a very long time. I pray that soon God you would give her the desires of her heart. May this season come to a close for her soon. In Jesus Name!

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  4. Jenny, I wish I could have your insight on something. I'm praying for a man. God nudged me to contact someone from my past and I pushed back because I was moving forward...but he nudged me again. This man is not a believer currently, but God has had me pray away demons (took me three days and he's all the way around the world) as well as fervently praying for his salvation and God let me know with Luke 18 that he heard my prayer, but he is continuing to use me to pray for him. I discovered he's got a girlfriend and two 3 month old twins. I know his heart lies with me, but I'm just trying to do and be what God wants me to do. I love him. I've gut checked it, asked God to remove this love if it's not in his will but it remains. He lives in Italy right now, he knows I would move for him, he would also move for me as our paths crossed about 4 years ago and we knew then what we meant to each other, but I've steered discussions away from that simply because he is taken and I'm not that sort of girl. I have felt the way God feels about him, at first it was a DEEP love and a very deep sorrow and heartbreak. The emotions were a LOT for me to handle...Overwhelming actually and that's when God put me on my knees in prayer for him. Usually when I pray for someone, those feelings go away, but they didn't this time. He's displaying outward signs of his inward sin and condition of his heart and I've been fervently praying for healing. I even drove home the other day and literally SHOUTED his name in the car, telling him to wake up (it was the middle of the night for him) and I honestly felt like I was literally waking him up to tell him that the God of heaven was right before his eyes, to open his eyes and SEE. I had a brief dream yesterday about a woman I know at church going into labor. I could see her stomach contracting (it wasn't about the pain, it was about being ready for this birth that was about to happen) and I calmly said "I think I need to go get your husband." I walked into Starbucks the other evening and the car right in front of the door had a license plate that said "ITALY" And I've seen the story of Abram/Abraham countless times over the last few days, someone on your page posted a dream about a flight taking off and mentioned something about to be birthed and all I can say is "I'm ready Lord, I will do whatever you would have me do, just make it happen" Because the situation all the way around is just straight up IMPOSSIBLE. I'm at the tail end of a divorce with two children, I'm broke, he's taken with two new babies and not even a believer yet...and it's just the sort of story that God would be right in the midst of. He's a wayward son and I have confidence that he will return to Christ...but my mind is blowing. Especially because the love I have for him remains and God hasn't taken it away and is still placing him on my heart for prayer...a LOT. I feel as if God has something BIG for him.

    Thoughts?

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