Get up out of your ash heap
Rise up and dust yourself off
You have mourned enough over what you lost
You have become too comfortable
sitting in your misery and tears.
I hear the sound of heaven
The sounds of laughter and rejoicing
being sung out over you.
I smell the perfume of Heaven
being poured out over you
The anointing oil clinging to you
There was a time when Job
finally got up out of his ashes
and so must you
have the will to see better days
and the promise of His restoring
Let the rains of heaven wash
away the ashen smudges
of your yesterdays
No more looking at yourself
in your burnt up ruins and dreams
I hear the sound of singing and laughing
It's time to rejoice in Him
For He was faithful-
He did not let you die
He did not let you be destroyed
and you became stronger within.
He's singing His love song over you
Smell His fragrance dripping all over you
Clap and sing
HIS beauty is being revealed
It's a new day for you -brand new!!!!
To saying goodbye to everything and everyone who had broken her heart.
To forgiveness and not letting bitterness ruin her.
To not looking over her shoulder at memory lane, to not trying to bang down a door that's been purposefully shut, and to not wasting away her life waiting for someone to come back and love her.
To becoming wise, learning from her bad choices and mistakes.
To not letting men use her, abuse her, cheat on her, or treat her with less respect and care than what she deserves.
To letting go of fears and embracing "I can's".
To being herself and loving her smile, her heart, her spirit and her body -to knowing she's loveable.
To trusting God in all areas of her life.
To having huge and crazy dreams and not letting anyone talk her out of them.
To loving herself, taking care of her body, her mind, and soul.
To not letting the ashes, burnt up dreams, heartaches and disappointments destroy her or keep her from her God given destiny.
To smiling, laughing, being silly, having fun, being creative and letting each moment count.
To letting him know she can live without him, that her worth never is based on his perception of who she is.
To kissing that fool goodbye for the last time.
To being lovely, sparkly, shiny and vibrant.
To taking her tears and making them useful. She writes, she sings, she creates, and she wipes the tears of others, reminding them that God can heal their hearts too.
To allowing herself to be available to romantic love again but with higher standards. She's a daughter of God, after all.
To walking out and living in her God given purpose and destiny. To be being a Queen for such a time as this. Yes, she can do it.
To wearing the pretty shoes and walking in authority, stomping and crushing the enemies lies beneath her feet!
To dancing and going to high places.
To hanging out with winners, believers, overcomers and achievers; accepting healthy and inspiring people in her life, saying no to people who suck the joy and life out of what God has created to be beautiful and honor Him.
To growing, glowing, giving, sharing, and loving.
To expecting the good and beautiful and expecting blessing and favor to be in her life.
Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013 A Modern Day Ruth
You have been sitting in the ash heap of your broken heart and burned up dreams. You had to rest and be still there a while, because your pain was so immensely great. You felt stuck, but had to be still for Poppa God to heal you. He sat there next to you in your great pain and grief. At times you couldn't feel His presence, and this pained you, because the depths of emotion were so dark and lonely.... Many friends and family were there at the beginning, but they finally stopped hanging around. In your time of isolation, you were being held under the very wing of His love. His shadow was protecting you from the harsh exposure of your brokenness. You were laid out bare and feeling naked. False shame and the soot of your ashes made you feel unlovable and unworthy. You felt that all eyes saw only your mistakes and your rejections -your ashes; but He was washing you gently. Pulling out the splinters and shards of glass that penetrated your heart. The abandonment you felt was so heavy, you thought you could never be loved again, but He was with you all the time. Some nights were so long and so lonely, your tears fell like waterfalls. Your pillow was soaked at night. You bravely smiled in the daylight and told others you were fine. Your soul was being strengthened. Your resilience was emerging. Your faith was growing through the thickets and briers ...stronger, reaching high to the heavens. You didn't know this, but the saints were cheering you on. God Himself was holding your hand when no-one would comfort you. Your tears have been collected carefully in His perfume bottle. His oil of gladness is now replacing the sorrows for songs of joy. Rise up, Beloved. Out of your ash heap you will rise. He is pouring out His sacred, sweet oil on your head. He is the Glory and lifter of your head. Those who look to Him are radiant and their faces are never covered in shame. The traces of the ashes are no more. Your robes are radiant and white, glimmering like diamonds -just as the afternoon sun shines on a lake. There will be scars from what you overcame, but they are your marks of beauty for His glory and purpose. The pain will fade away, but your strength and faith will remain. You will rise, Darling. You will stand on the heap of the enemy, with his head crushed under your feet. You will walk in honor and beauty. You will be celebrated as one who is a mighty and brave warrior -a princess anointed as queen at the table of the King of Glory. Do you hear Him call out to you? "Rise up, Beautiful One. You are my Beloved, and I am faithfully yours." ~Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2013. Please share for encouragement purposes.
Sometimes I just want comfort, because the ache of missing someone is so great. I just don't want to get out of bed, because the thoughts haunt and linger like an old friend, and I wonder if they remember me. Sometimes I just don’t want to fake a smile, because the emotions are just way too close to the surface and it feels like I’m truly at the breaking point of a tear slipping down. No, thank you. I have come this far. So I just want to eat some chocolate, or maybe a comforting gourmet cheese sandwich with soup; but please, please don’t drag me anywhere. I’m just tired, very tired. I know this temporary feeling will pass just like a quick little rain shower. I’m not going backward, I refuse to do that. I’m going forward, if only someone could hold me and not say a word. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012 All rights reserved.
Memories have brought on emotions I don't ever want to feel again. Seeing couples and families at church during the holidays is so painful to watch. During a service recently, I just felt like I wanted to run down the aisle and escape the feeling of complete isolation. It was more than I could endure to see husbands holding their wives during the sermon. I used to do that... nestle my head on my husband's shoulder. I just kept thinking to myself, "I just want to be loved." I don't want him back, but I want to be loved by a man again. If I could trust someone, if I knew I wasn't going to be discarded when troubles or difficulties came. I still have to remind myself that I'm not trash. That I'm not ugly or unlovable. To be honest, it's hard to convince this troubled heart at times. I could just go date anyone. I have been asked out plenty of times, but I am picky now. I don't just go out for the sake of going out. My heart is too fragile for that. I am still healing from the damage the one I loved did to me. The one I took back even after he had left me for another woman-the one who threw me away like trash. The one who took me for granted. The one who left me abandoned over and over. I wish he could comprehend the pain and damage he did to my heart. To my kids. It nearly cost me my life. It's been so hard to believe that any man could love me. I guess whoever walks into my life will have to be patient and understanding of this. He will have to handle my heart gently. Dear future husband of mine: Please don't leave. Don't throw me away. Don't take me for granted. Don't ignore me and leave me always waiting and wanting...waiting for you to touch me, hold me, to talk to me...To be with me. Don't leave me drowning in my tears, keeping me in chains of worry as I try to be good enough for you -and whatever you do, don't make me feel lonely. Don't treat me like a side dish or a back pocket kind of girl. Keep me up front close to your heart. Let me know I'm special and valuable; that I'm enough, that I'm the only one, that I'm lovable- flaws and all. Let me know you need me and my love.
Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2013
The holidays add a whole other ball game to the rough road and field that we are in as "Ruths". Sometimes I feel like people just don't understand the load and extra emotions we face. As a single momma of teenagers, I already struggle with paying the bills and putting food on the table. Add Christmas on top of that and it's hard...really hard. I cry at night when the kids are in bed. Certain songs trigger memories I would like to forget. Sometimes I just wish I could not be a "Ruth" for a day. My ideal fantasy world would be me on a cozy sofa drinking a Starbucks mocha and gazing at the flames in a fireplace. Lovely pretty creamy white stockings would be hanging from the mantle. Music would be playing and presents would be wrapped and under the tree with no worries. There would be a stable, godly man who loves me gazing and smiling at me. The kids would feel comfort and safety and their world wouldn't be so broken. That's my Christmas fantasy. For today, though, I just don't want to be a "Ruth" struggling in the field. I just want to be the "Ruth" who has her Boaz helping her and holding her -knowing he's never going to leave me. Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013
Though I am silently crying....I surrender I lay it down. Sometimes a song is an expression of what's going on in my heart...This song says it all. Even if it's just to speak your name...I'm going to pray.
