How To Displease Me

 

How To Displease Me

 My pet peeves are simple. These are things I seriously could go without in my life. Some of you might even agree with me on a few. They are in no paticular order.
1. Gossip: Don't even think about doing this in my presence. Any lady or gentleman knows better and does not speak ill of others nor do they entertain other people who do. Don't do this around me or I may say something to you. I do not tolerate gossip. Nothing good comes from it.
2. Not showing appreciation to those who serve you: Waiters, ushers, government workers, attendants, sales people...they have a tough job. Give them a smile, compliment them when they go out of their way. It's disrespectful to not give them a decent tip.
3. People who put labels on single mommas: Just because she's a single mom does not mean she sleeps around or is after your spouse. I have found christians to treat these women as outcasts. I've experienced this myself many times -even in church. Single moms have a rough road, and you don't know all the details that brought them to their status. Many of these women were abandoned or abused...all have been brokenhearted. Single moms are the '"Ruths" of this generation. Before you judge, walk in her shoes 24/7. What she really needs from you is love and acceptance. She needs help and hope.
4. Men who play games: Don't lie- not ever. Small lies are not okay with me. Being honest and saying how you feel is best. My heart is not a toy.
5. Rudeness: Please don't belch or pass gas in my presence. It's the hugest turn off ever. If one slips out- I understand but be polite about it. I am a lady.
6. Don't cuss in my presence. Don't use God's name in vain. This strongly offends me and grieves my heart.
7. Talking down to me in public or yelling at me in sarcastic tones: I won't do this to you either. It's disrespectful and dishonorable to do this to others.
8. Brown nylons -yuck. Margarine -gag. Only REAL butter will do. Fake sugar, artificial sweetener -so bad for you. Anything artificial is not a good idea.
9. Rude drivers: People's true colors come out when they drive. If you are one of these kinds of drivers, please don't have a fish symbol on the back of your bumper -you embarrass me.
10. Seeing others suffer: The homeless, animals who are hurting, children being neglected or abused, seeing someone cry and no one is offering to comfort them. If I could be a giant hug for everyone, I would. If you cry, I feel like crying. We must all do our part to help those who can't help themselves. Jesus was moved with compassion. May I never forget the fraility of a human heart. Love does more than any other action.
Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/ A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

Pamper Yourself

Being a single mom or recently divorced can be a rough time. You really need to allow yourself comfort and pampering. Don't wait for a man or someone else to do it. All women should value themselves and realize that it's healthy, not selfish, to take some time out to relieve stress. Here are a few ideas I do...Some are even free. :) 


1. Candles: I buy them just like I do milk and bread. They're a staple in my house. Light candles...fragrant ones can cozy up a room quickly. I use them daily for prayer and whenever I just need to relax. Cheap therapy :)

2. Baths: If you don't have luxury bath gels and bubbles, use several drops of vanilla extract from your bakers cupboard in the kitchen. I use cinnamon too. :) It smells yummy. Want to soften your skin? Use baking soda in your water. Make homemade scrubs for your face. Use sugar, vanilla, rock salt, honey...Your face will glow. Want a facial mask? Use part of a can of pumpkin pie filling and fragrant spices. Heavenly :) Have no bubbles? Use a little dish soap or shampoo...I have tried just about everything.

3. Turn on Norah Jones or smoky jazz or old classic love songs: Sinatra, Etta James, Louie Armstrong....Who can be in a bad mood when they are singing? 

4. Buy a new red lipstick and wear it :) Sometimes a little something just makes a girly girl feel good.

5. Go on a walk and talk to God. I do this and have the best times with the Lord.

6. Watch "It's A Wonderful Life"....My favorite Christmas Movie. You can't be depressed when watching this one.

7. Cheer someone else up...This always makes me feel happy. <3 Those who need to be encouraged are usually the best encouragers. I have found this to be so true.

8. Save gourmet chocolate and eat one piece when you need a little sweetness. You are worth it.

9. Tell your kids that you need a good hug. Let them know...A hug from a kid or elderly person is amazing.

10. Light a fire in the fireplace...I love looking at the flames. Wear fuzzy socks. :)

11. The English have it right...make a cup of tea and sip it slowly. It's so relaxing.

12. Do what you love....What's your creative outlet? I love to paint, write, sing, take photos, make homemade gifts for loved ones... Do something that expresses your feelings.

13. Bless a neighbor with homemade soup or some cut flowers. The elderly really appreciate your thoughtfulness. When you bless others, you bless yourself.

14. Paint your nails. Pink...Feminine and dainty, Hot pink is flirty..Red makes you feel passionate and sexy. Plum or burgundy is mysterious. I sometimes break down and pay for a pedicure... It's worth every penny. I love the massage and having someone make my feet cute.

15. Go for a drive. There's something about the motion of a car or plane that just puts me in a subdued and thoughtful mood. I usually day dream and get my downloads and ideas while traveling.

16. Pet and talk to animals. My kitty makes me feel good. Animals are easy to talk to and they don't judge like humans do. I love horses...Feeding them apples. They're beautiful. Go to a pet store. They make you smile.

17. Wear jammies and snuggle up with the kids. Watch a family movie together. Mine are almost grown, so they don't do this much, but I savor it when the kids are all in one room with me. They grow up so fast and soon they are gone.

18. Go out to dinner -a sit down dinner. Sometimes you just need to be waited on and not have to take care of everyone. Dress up. Put some makeup on. Wear heels. Feel good being a woman. Invite another single mom or friend. She probably needs a night out too.

19. Go bowling. When I'm upset it feels so good to get a strike. Knocking those pins down -it feels so good.

20. Eat dessert. Life's too short to not enjoy the little things. Life should be sweet no matter what.

21. Watch a sunset...It's free...It's relaxing and it always makes me feel grateful. Don't ever take sunsets for granted. God's showcase happens everyday...He paints the sky so beautifully. Thank Him for what He has given you.

22. Dance in your kitchen...I do this sometimes. I may look like a fool...but I feel good. :)

23. Go to the gym or do some form of exercise. I feel so amazing after a sweaty workout. Those endorphins are amazing. I feel sexy, beautiful and alive. Best therapy ever!!!

24. Look back at how far you have come. Pat yourself on the back. Tell yourself in the mirror that you are strong, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, gifted, a problem solver, a talented woman...etc. Don't wait for a compliment to come. You are worth being loved now. You are gorgeous, Darling.

25. Go to a beautiful place...A cozy café, a restaurant with pretty lighting, a lovely store...Any place that makes you feel special and inspired. I have a favorite jazz place where I like to go. The atmosphere is charming, the lighting, the music, the food...Great place. :)

Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

Love Message For You

I love what I do. I love and value our readers as family members. You are my sisters and brothers. God gave me a passion to help heal and empower women by sharing the wisdom I learned from my own personal mistakes. Through my own journey of overcoming abandonment and heartaches, and to remind them of what their value is as daughters of the Most High God. You are worth more than all the diamonds and rubies in the entire world...Don't ever doubt it. That even with brokenness and ashes, your story does not end. Your life is not over, but just begun. You have a future and a hope! You have a destiny still to fulfill. God's love for you does not waiver one bit. His love is everlasting and His beautiful Grace is sufficient for you. Don't ever let the enemy convince you that because someone doesn't love you or that you aren't lovable anymore. That's a lie. That person just did not see or appreciate the value of who you truly are, but someday someone will. Hold onto God's promises- they are for you. <3 Love, Jenny~ A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013.

How I Do It (Tips To Keep Going)

Some say, "How do you do it ?" This road and field ain't easy, and truthfully, there are times when I emotionally break down because the load is too much. Being a single Momma was not my ideal for my life or my amazing kids. I sometimes have to bravely put on a smile, even if inside I don't feel it. I have to pull up a scripture or promise and dwell on it. If I can't break through on my own, then I call my core encouragers and prayer support. It's never demeaning or weak to call reinforcement when the enemy of your life is attacking. That's what the body of Christ is for. When I'm lonely I tell Poppa God. When I feel defeated I try to speak out loud the word and declare His promises. I speak opposite of what I'm feeling, because faith comes by hearing the Word. I listen to positive messages from godly mentors and speakers. If I feel weary, I remind myself that I need to spend worship time and sing to the Holy Spirit...I sing love songs in my alone time with God. When I start feeling sorry for myself I look around to find someone else who needs encouragement. My heart gets happy if I know I have made a difference in someone's else's life. Sometimes if I have been holding things in too long, I break down and cry. It's healing and a release. Jesus, says to cast all our burdens on Him because He cares for us. He will never be too overwhelmed with our troubles. He can handle our list. We must trust Him and release it all. If I am physically shutting down, then I know I need a good old fashioned cat nap. This gives me a fresh perspective. More importantly, I just live one moment at a time because, honestly, one day at a time is too hard. God is my strength and my portion, He doesn't expect us to do it alone or on our own strength. In Him we live and move and have our being. Always remember that this is a temporary season. ~Love, Jenny, A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.

I'm Here For You

My heart hurts today. It aches for those who are walking through a season of brokenheartedness. I know that pain is so surreal. I lived it. I breathed it. I cried those thousands of tears. I know the depth of betrayal and being traded for another lover. I know how it feels to give 110 percent to the one you loved and valued, only to feel unloved and unappreciated. I know the nights of crying out to God praying for your loved one to come home. I know that moment you trust them once more and they fail you again. I know the fears. I know the days of not being able to eat because your heart is so sick and distraught. I know the emotional waves that come crashing down, and you wonder if you can survive them. I know the aching need to remove the anguish and finding out there is nothing to numb it away. I know the sleepless nights when you analyze everything you did or didn't do right -wondering what it was that made that person walk out the door, and why they won't love you the way they said that they did.
I know all of these things. I just want you to know, dear one, it will get better. I know it feels like your world has been ripped out from under you, and that it feels like everything is over, but even in the midst of great brokenness, there is still a plan. I know you can't possibly see it right now because you are so engulfed in your pain and disappointment, but someday you will. In my heart I kneel beside you and I hold your hand. I am praying for you. May the God of all comfort surround you with His sweet peace. May His presence be so real to you in this dark time. May you find Him ever so close to you. He knows the pain of betrayal and brokenness. He knows what rejection feels like, and He is with you. He is crying with you. He loves you and He will never forsake you. Cling to the faith that you know. Rest your head upon His chest. Hear His beating heart for yours. God is for you and not against you. You will get to the other side, beloved. You will. ~ Love, Jenny from Ruby Wives and A Modern Day Ruth Copyright 2013

Dear Ruth

To the "Ruths" who are waiting for a "Boaz" to walk into your life:
  I remember the day my Mama and I went to a powerful church service at Jesus Pursuit Church in Albany. We we're both going through some painful and difficult times. My heart had been severely broken by my husband of 13 years who walked away from God and his family. The air was thick in the sanctuary. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet. The music was going, and I was lost in worship. This place felt safe. In my heart I leaned against Poppa God on a white horse. I call God Poppa. I have always wanted to be a Daddy's girl, but my real Dad couldn't be there for me. In His presence I felt like I was the only one. I spiritually felt bare and naked with my broken heart exposed, but felt so safe and so warm resting in His arms. After the music and message that were given, my Mama wanted me to go up front to the altar area to be prayed for. I felt shy and awkward about it, but at my Mama's request, I did. She's my hero in so many ways. Anything she asks of me I will do. I was prayed for and given a precious and memorable word. I was told by the prayer lady that God wanted me know it wasn't my fault and that Poppa loved me. He called me His favorite. And at that moment I felt like I truly was. God is so awesome how He does this. We truly are His favorite. Each one of us. After some time I went and kneeled at the altar and cried out to Him. I heard Him say so clearly- I'm sending you a "Boaz". I pondered what He said. I knew it was His voice. I've never really been interested much about the story of Ruth and Boaz. I went to Sunday School as a child and it was never my favorite story, but since then I have studied the book of Ruth. I've listened and gleaned from it and applied it to areas of my life. Have I bumped into my Boaz, Yet? No, but I have learned to be busy about my Father's business. Loving others and working in the fields that God has called me to. I have met so many "Ruths and Naomies" along the way of this healing journey. I have spent the last few years gleaning and sharing wisdom of what a godly woman and wife should be like. Sharing my own journey, being transparent with my readers, praying and standing in the gap for marriages. We have helped soothe some broken hearts. Poppa God has been faithful. I see so many strong women who have been hurt and disappointed; but their faith shines like the sun and I am so privileged and blessed to know them. The story of Ruth is about redemption. Poppa God covers us with His love and redeems us from our painful past. He celebrates us as the Bride of Christ. He provides for us single mamas and is a Husband when we need one. He is also a Father to the fatherless. He is all that we have need of. I've learned to let go of searching for the affections of a man, and to put my broken bleeding heart into the hands of the Almighty. There, I know it will always be protected and safe. I have come so far, and I feel so grateful that I'm no longer broken or dismayed. He has given me purpose -given me a message that burns on my heart to share. Keep trusting God, Keep walking in faith, and do what God has called you to -and when the time is right, your "Boaz" will see you from across the field.   Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/A Modern Day Ruth. Copyright 2013.

Dear Future Boaz, I will Love You For A Thousand Years

Every part of this song relates to me on this journey -being afraid, all the healing, all the times of trying to be brave, and now the waiting -which seems like I have waited a thousand years. I've been letting Poppa God cut off the dead things in my life that were no longer needed. I can't wait to tell this to someone someday: "Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years....I'll love you for a thousand more. All along I have believed that I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me for a thousand years...I will love you for a thousand more."
I'm sure Ruth felt like this when she met her Boaz. Like she was finally "home" again. If I ever walk down that aisle, it just might have to be to this song...~ Written By Ms.Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth 

Song: A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

http://youtu.be/ffkawkZFYtA