In His Chambers

It's been 4 days since I and many other women have started a season of prayer and fasting. I was hesitant at first to announce and commit to 21 days. There's so much more pressure to lead a fast than just participate, but I felt God nudge my heart, and so here I am. I have no regrets because I see women really being touched. The last 4 days have been so wonderful. Besides the struggle of being hungry, everything else has been smooth and easy. I thought I was going to have to pound the doors of heaven, but what I've come to realize, is that He has been waiting for me. He has been seeking me out and lavishing Himself upon me with His love. I feel so blessed, so humbled and so enthralled that He would do this. Thank You, Poppa God. I adore you. For the past couple of days He has been continually saying, "What do you want? What do you desire? Tell me." I know He already knows, but He has me in a place of trusting Him with my heart's desires. For me it's not about telling Him. It's about trusting Him. Being a "Ruth" has not been easy. I have been hurt and abandoned. I have had dreams dashed to the ground and burnt up into ashes. I had to come from a place I knew, to walking a desolate road of tears and sorrows. It's been a long journey, but now I am no longer broken. I am no longer longing for what I lost. It  has been a time of trusting as I have had to move forward -forward toward destiny. He has had me working in a field I didn't know I would be assigned to, gleaning wisdom from my past mistakes and sharing it with others who are hurting too. God has been so good. He has been so faithful.
  Today, as I met with the Holy Spirit in my new Secret Place, He told me to be still and to just let Him love on me. The wind began to blow through the trees and my hair. His sweet kisses on my face. Leaves and acorns were falling down and all around me. He told me that I am to just lay my worries and fears aside outside the door of my King's Chambers....Why? Because in the "Secret Place" He just wants my full attention. His presence and love demands this. He wants to lavish Himself upon me. How beautiful and so surreal is this? That when we come to our lover, we don't talk about stresses of the day or worries. No, we let our lover ravish us. We get lost in that moment of making love to each other, and how much more so should it be with our King. We come before Him and focus our attention on His gaze and His great love for us. I hear Him say, "Come, Daughter. I want to love on you." I think of Queen Esther and that one night with the King. She had to let go of her insecurities and fears and be open to him. This was her chance to make that first impression -to make her time with him count. Oh, that we would make our precious intimate time with our King count. May our hearts impress His with our willingness to be loved and to love on Him back. How lovely. How beautiful... How precious is the Holy Spirit. He wants to lavish Himself on you.

"My beloved spoke and said to me,
    “Arise, my darling,
    my beautiful one, come with me."  Song of Songs 2:10 NIV

Written by Jenny Williams, A Modern Day Ruth  Copyright 2013

For Such A Time As This

  During this time of walking in the shoes of a "Ruth" I have felt so compelled by the Lord to embrace the refinement and requirement of excellence. I have always usually tried to do and be my best at everything I do, but now it's at another level. As I study the story of Ruth and ponder about her, I notice one very distinct thing: her heart and character. She was excellent in who she was. She was loyal and faithful. She was diligent. She did not let her sorrows ruin her. She did not let her past stop her from moving forward. Her love for Naomi and her simple trust in the God of her mother-in-law was so brave. Instead of seeking her own comfort, she comforted others. What a beautiful heart she had. Women in the Bible fascinate me. They inspire me. When I was a little girl I dreamed and admired the character of Esther, so much so that I chose to have my Momma dress me up like her at a costume party. Other kids were dressed like super heroes, monsters, cartoon characters, etc., but I wanted to be a queen. God's chosen one. Maybe my mindset is still like that little girl. I want to be a  woman of nobility. I want to be the favorite. The chosen one. The one who impacts the world around her. The one who makes a difference in other people's lives -a history maker. Embracing this process of being a Ruth has not been easy. I have even questioned God "why?"  Poppa God does not let me complain or grumble. He doesn't allow me to wallow in self pity over my circumstances of being a single momma. He whispers to my soul, "Daughter, let's go to high places." He expects my best in all I do. He expects my actions to be done in excellence. I think of Esther and the beauty treatments she went through as she prepared herself for that one night with the king. I feel like that -that He's bathing me in His presence. Washing away the grime and pain of the past. Leading me to soak in His loveliness and fragrance. This time of preparing for greatness means He requires greatness of me always. My attitudes and how I treat others, how I let go of offences, how I pray for those who hurt me, how I handle myself when I am around people who I don't  like, all of this is preparing me for the destiny He has for me. This is a special prayer I wrote a while back. I have shared it before but I find it to be fitting and useful:

My prayer: ( Lord, Make in me a heart of a Queen who captures a King)

Dear God, I pray for a heart of nobility like Queen Esther, who knew her purpose and the hour in which she lived, who knew how to touch the heart of a King.

I pray to be like Abigail, who understood how to show respect and build a man's confidence up with her words and actions. She was wise.

I pray to be like Deborah, who knew how to dance and praise You even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

I desire to be like Rachel, who had a servant's heart.

I long to be like the Shulamite woman, who was a great lover and the "Favorite One" of the King.

I desire character and perseverance like Hannah, who pursued what she longed for and did not give up.

I want to be like Ruth, who was faithful and loyal and was considered to be a noble woman who captivated the heart of a kinsman redeemer and received blessings.

I want to be found highly favored like Mary, whose calling impacted the entire world.

Make me and mould me to be a woman after your heart, oh God ...a woman of virtue, wisdom, and grace; a woman who walks in her destiny and purpose, a woman who is remembered long after I am gone, so that I will leave a lasting legacy. In Jesus' name, Amen ~  Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012, 2013 All rights reserved.