Walking This Lonely Road

          Being a "Modern Day Ruth" is no easy task or assignment. Even though I try to be positive and remain an example to others in my daily life, I find it to be lonely. Some nights I fight the ache of just wanting to be held by someone who is not ever going to leave me. Going to church on Sunday mornings is painful. I swallow my tears and put on a brave smile. I am grateful to be in the house of God, but it's hard to see families all together. I miss that. I miss a husband putting his arm around his wife during the message, the prayer time, and especially sharing in communion. I close my eyes and remember His promise. This past Sunday during the worship service, the presence of the Holy Spirit was so strong in that place, I shut myself away from everything and just soaked in His beauty. I felt a strong power go through my right hip. So strongly it made my legs wobble like a baby calf. Instantly I felt a presence standing behind me and holding my side. I knew its was the Lord, because He spoke to my spirit and said, "Who is beside you, Jenny? Who is beside you? Who is beside you?" He said it three times so clearly and so strongly. Tears fell from my eyes. "You are, Lord...You are." The road of being a "Ruth" is not an easy one, but remember that He is with you every step of the way. He is closer than a Brother, dearer than a lover, sweeter than a friend. I have found Him to be faithful to me. I choose to be faithful to Him. You are not alone. Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2013

  

You have been sitting in the ash heap of your broken heart and burned up dreams. You had to rest and be still there a while, because your pain was so immensely great. You felt stuck, but had to be still for Poppa God to heal you. He sat there next to you in your great pain and grief. At times you couldn't feel His presence, and this pained you, because the depths of emotion were so dark and lonely. Many friends and family were there at the beginning, but they finally stopped hanging around. In your time of isolation you we're being held under the very wing of His love. His shadow was protecting you from the harsh exposure of your brokenness. You were laid out bare and feeling naked. False shame and the soot of your ashes made you feel unlovable and unworthy. You felt that all eyes saw only your mistakes and your rejections -your ashes; but He was washing you gently, pulling out the splinters and shards of glass that penetrated your heart. The abandonment you felt was so heavy, you thought you could never be loved again, but He was with you all the time. Some nights were so long and so lonely, your tears fell like waterfalls. Your pillow was soaked at night. You bravely smiled in the daylight and told others you were fine. Your soul was being strengthened. Your resilience was emerging. Your faith was growing through the thickets and briers ...stronger, reaching high to the heavens. You didn't know this, but the saints were cheering you on. God Himself was holding your hand when no-one would comfort you. Your tears have been collected carefully in His perfume bottle. His oil of gladness is now replacing the sorrows for songs of joy. Rise up, Beloved. Out of your ash heap you will rise. He is pouring out His sacred, sweet oil on your head. He is the Glory and lifter of your head. Those who look to Him are radiant and their faces are never covered in shame. The traces of the ashes are no more. Your robes are radiant and white -glimmering like diamonds, just as the afternoon sun shines on a lake. There will be scars from what you overcame, but they are your marks of beauty for His glory and purpose. The pain will fade away, but your strength and faith will remain. You will rise, Darling. You will stand on the heap of the enemy, with his head crushed under your feet. You will walk in honor and beauty. You will be celebrated as one who is a mighty and brave warrior -a princess anointed as queen at the table of the King of Glory. Do you hear Him call out to you? "Rise up, Beautiful One. You are my Beloved, and I am faithfully yours." ~Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2013. Please share for encouragement purposes.